Take this...as an offering; take this...as a sign

[Wisemon]

I just submitted the contest winner, You Don't Love Me Anymore, the last new lemon you'll see from me for a while. It's heavily influenced by Stabbing Westward. If anyone here knows about Stabbing Westward, comments about the band would be cool (I think they were very underrated). More importantly, comments about the lemon would be really great. Please, READ AND REVIEW (except UnknownH, who's already read it in testing, thanks again). Here's the preview:


Daisuke sat in his room and stared at his D-Terminal screen, waiting for Hikari

[UnknownH]

and I went back and will add my comments up to that point

"So why does it have to be Hikari?" Daisuke remembered the root
of the obsession. "It's because I feel imperfect. I'm socially
inept, and I can't stick to doing my homework. I'm searching for an
angel, someone who can make me whole. Miyako and I are very
similar people, but Hikari could fill in my blank spots." are
you projecting some of my thoughts on to davis or yours

"flying hope moved in and out of Hikari?s pink halo." appropiate
or just kinda weird don't know

"winged pork sauce," what?

[hhvorausgesagt]

I'm impressed, wisemon! In the first chapter of it, no one had thier heads chopped off! No one got body slammed to death! No one got strangled to death! No one got raped, stabed, beaten, or smashed!
Good job, you decided to save that for a sequel this time!

[UnknownH]

heh heh he got you there wise

[hhvorausgesagt]

It should appeal to both Takari and Daisuke fans.

I guess it just depends if a person ENJOYS being depressed.

[Wisemon]

heh heh he got you there wise

Indeed.

I guess it just depends if a person ENJOYS being depressed.

Well, you'd have to see the ending, which you won't see until it's posted. I have to leave some suspense, but I guess I could let you have your theory proven right.


Takeru and Hikari separated their bodies, cleaned off in the water, headed back to their blanket, and got dressed. Takeru held his D-3 up to a nearby monitor, and the sexual conspirators returned to their own world.
Daisuke pulled up his briefs and shorts.

[UnknownH]

and now another part of my review
"Warren Worthington III" wouldn't he have to be blue with metal
wings for that to happen?

you know slash angemon came to mind when I found this

[hhvorausgesagt]

This does seem to be different from your usual style of writing, wisemon.
For instance, much of the quotes in the second part of the story seem different from such in the first one and compared to others you have written; much of the story seems to represent your changing current lifestyle.

[Wisemon]

This does seem to be different from your usual style of writing, wisemon.
For instance, much of the quotes in the second part of the story seem different from such in the first one and compared to others you have written; much of the story seems to represent your changing current lifestyle.

Well, there are several personal touches in this story. I talk about those in the author's notes, which are almost as long as the actual story. As far as a change in style, this is different, but it does have some similarities to "Generic Blues", which had the most beautiful ending of any of my stories. I intend to write something with a much more depressing and realistic ending eventually, either as a single, or a new series.

[hhvorausgesagt]

And it was now that I decided that the boy was clearly confused, or possibly insane.

Well, you'd have to see the ending, which you won't see until it's posted. I have to leave some suspense, but I guess I could let you have your theory proven right.

You will never doubt my theorys again! Well at least on this subject...
Which is quite predictable...