You've gotta keep your head up through it all

[Wisemon]

This is my Valentine's Day gift to my...well, she's sort of my girlfriend. I believe that the greatest gift is honesty (I probably got that from Billy Joel). This is my life story, specially refined as a love letter. Oh, did I mention that it's a poem? It's a long poem, and hey, it rhymes. Officially, this is the first piece of writing I've posted in "The Author's Domain", but don't think that means you should go easy on me. I want comments. Praise it, or blaze it; I'll take either one. In fact, I'd like any criticisms that you have. I want it to be perfect for her. Because of this, criticisms from females would be ideal, but I'm not picky. Gay guys, or even straight guys, will do just fine. Trust me, this looks a lot better as a Word document.

Nine Years

The first half of nineteen ninety-five,
It was the coolest time in my life.
Yeah, being a wiseass to teachers is really cool.
I became the most popular kid in school.
It became official at recess, of Valentine

[servantofmyMaster]

Ben,
I know that I should be using Wisemon, but I just wanted to let you know that after reading your work I feel humbled. I hope that this Valentines gift is well recieved by your possible sweetheart.

The only thing I can suggest right now is to make sure you spell check, proof read, if it's recently written leave it alone for 24 hours then go back and read it again, slowly. You may notice little things that you might want to change.

I know I always find loads to check after I do that with one of my fics, poems, ect.

If there may be small faults that you see, don't take that as a blow to your self esteem. It just means that in the passion or agony of writing, by hand if you wrote it by hand, or your fingers if by keyboard. Your brain went faster than you could type, or write.

It's well worded, and most importantly it comes from your heart. If only the men that I've dealt with in the past could have been as thoughtful and introspective as you...sigh...I would probably be soo less jaded.

Hope things turn out well for you.........Servant.

[UnknownH]

wow I hope you and her do get together (me I hate V-day)

[Wisemon]

I just found out (overheard) that the other guy (see "Every time I start to believe something's raped and taken") and her had a falling out, which is why she chose me. She made fun of his hemp necklace. Hemp is for losers. She kind of wants the other guy back though, because she thinks I'm a "whack-job". I tried to explain to her how I'm not crazy a few hours ago. It seemed to go over well. Just in case, I've amended the poem. It's now two separate poems. To start, I'll only give her this second piece. It's probably for the best that she not know about my life right away.

Recent Events: Girl Next Door

When your heater broke down, the R.A., you went to see.
When the R.A. couldn

[Wisemon]

Anyone who's read my lemons (if you haven't, what are you waiting for?) knows that I'm heavily influenced by alternative rock lyrics. This poem was no exception. I'll go through it line by line and point out the slight lyrical inspirations.

Nine Years

The first half of nineteen ninety-five,
It was the coolest time in my life.
Yeah, being a wiseass to teachers is really cool.
I became the most popular kid in school.
It became official at recess, of Valentine

[milk me!]

If it weren't for the epic length, I would say that this reads like lyrics to a hip-hop song. I guess that's where the 311 and Offspring influence comes in.

Certain lines kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Like "I was influenced by shows from that genre. Now it

[Wisemon]

If it weren't for the epic length, I would say that this reads like lyrics to a hip-hop song. I guess that's where the 311 and Offspring influence comes in.

The Offspring are punk/grunge/comedy and 311 are hip-hop/reggae.

I realise this does you no good now, since it's already Valentine's Day, but I just wanted to reply to your poem since you obviously put a lot of work into it.

She loved the poem (I got about three minutes of solid praise), and I only gave her the second part, the part about her. I told her that I'd give her the first part when we got to know each other better. Of course, we've already gotten to know each other for months, but we have to take things slow. I got a hug, but I couldn't get a kiss.
"I'm not like that," she said.
"Neither am I," I replied. "I told you that my life was hard. Well, that would've been my first kiss."
"So you had nothing to lose."
"Uh...I guess."
Anyway, it was alright, despite being a little awkward. We talked for a while afterward. We would've watched a movie together, but she had a paper to write. I think we're on the right track. It's just going to be hard to find excuses to get together.

[milk me!]

I know what kind of music they play, but you surely can't deny the hip-hop influence in their music. It's there.

You need to go download some Cex. I think you'd like him.

[Wisemon]

She liked me, but after taking several steps to avoid me, she finally admitted that she didn

[Wisemon]

It's going to be a good six months before my series is finished and posted. In the meantime, here's how this bit of bitter reality will end. I don't plan on giving her this one. This was a venting exercise. Actually, we're still good friends, which is unusual for her. If she has the ability to fall in love, it'll be me or nobody.

Ghostbuster

The Ides of March have come for me, just like I knew they would.
An anti-karma force punishing anyone who