My lemon

[Lord Patamon]

Lord Patamon - I'd like to respond to your comments in PM. Any objections?

It's okay with me, you can respond my comments in PM

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

whew glad this is over*uses fire extinguisher to take out the flames*

[MISTER BIG T]

Good work, you are improving. :D

[AnironUndomiel]

Well, according to Tank Cop, i cant flame your writing unless you flame mine, and since you hav already done so, i think i should be given the opportunity to do a counter flame of sorts. I understand that plain flames will just erupt in more fighting and bickering and i think we people of intellect can do without such barbaric behaviors.

Anyway, on with the criticism. As i have mentioned in agz's thread, i have read many MANY books, from classics to contemporaries, i would like to have a certain appreciation for the written art.

First of all, i suggest that you read more books or articles before writting again, for i do not care for your style much. It is plain, simple, awkward, and without flourish. Reading books and story that have a certain flourish to it is like wiping one's with fine italian silk, and reading an awkwardly written article or book is much like wiping ones ass with sandpaper. Enough said upon that subject.

You have accused me of writting out of character because i gave Daisuke a more detailed personality, i have explained why Daisuke chose to act as the way he does on the show. Thus, the persona in my fiction can easily coexist with the Davis in the english dub. However, in your own writting you assigned the role of a rapist to veemon. I think we can all agree that if one truly loves another, he would rather sacrifice himself than seeing the person they love getting hurt. I, for myself, cannot imagine hurting even my ex-girlfriend, who heartlessly rejected me, and whom i still love to this day. The veemon in the show is obviously infatuated with gatomon, and since he is the bearer of the digimental of friendship, i seriously doubt he would hurt one of his best friends.

You have also claimed that my writting is so coarse and unrefined that it deserves to be burned. I beg to differ, i personally believe that my writting style is superior to yours, i develop my characters more and i assign reasons to their actions. You however, merely narrates a story, without going behind it and explaining why certain characters do certain things. That distinction i believe, is what makes the difference between a true student of literature and a dilettante.

If you so wish to retaliate to my criticism, you are more than welcome to do so on my thread. However, i must warn you that i have a lot of spare time on my hands because of my medical condition, and that i will spend them on trying to make you seem stupider than you truly are. It will be an arduous task i am certain, but then again, how can we improve if we do not challenge ourselves?

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

Well, according to Tank Cop, i cant flame your writing unless you flame mine, and since you hav already done so, i think i should be given the opportunity to do a counter flame of sorts. I understand that plain flames will just erupt in more fighting and bickering and i think we people of intellect can do without such barbaric behaviors.

Anyway, on with the criticism. As i have mentioned in agz's thread, i have read many MANY books, from classics to contemporaries, i would like to have a certain appreciation for the written art.

First of all, i suggest that you read more books or articles before writting again, for i do not care for your style much. It is plain, simple, awkward, and without flourish. Reading books and story that have a certain flourish to it is like wiping one's with fine italian silk, and reading an awkwardly written article or book is much like wiping ones ass with sandpaper. Enough said upon that subject.

You have accused me of writting out of character because i gave Daisuke a more detailed personality, i have explained why Daisuke chose to act as the way he does on the show. Thus, the persona in my fiction can easily coexist with the Davis in the english dub. However, in your own writting you assigned the role of a rapist to veemon. I think we can all agree that if one truly loves another, he would rather sacrifice himself than seeing the person they love getting hurt. I, for myself, cannot imagine hurting even my ex-girlfriend, who heartlessly rejected me, and whom i still love to this day. The veemon in the show is obviously infatuated with gatomon, and since he is the bearer of the digimental of friendship, i seriously doubt he would hurt one of his best friends.

You have also claimed that my writting is so coarse and unrefined that it deserves to be burned. I beg to differ, i personally believe that my writting style is superior to yours, i develop my characters more and i assign reasons to their actions. You however, merely narrates a story, without going behind it and explaining why certain characters do certain things. That distinction i believe, is what makes the difference between a true student of literature and a dilettante.

If you so wish to retaliate to my criticism, you are more than welcome to do so on my thread. However, i must warn you that i have a lot of spare time on my hands because of my medical condition, and that i will spend them on trying to make you seem stupider than you truly are. It will be an arduous task i am certain, but then again, how can we improve if we do not challenge ourselves?

the reason why I flamed you is because you made TK and Patamon out of character, TK is the mature one of the digidestined and Patamon would (and has) sacrifice himself for his friends, especially his one true love Gatomon

[Wisemon]

Since you polluted Aniron's fic with multiple posts instead of editing, it's time for some justice.

[Wisemon]

the reason why I flamed you is because you made TK and Patamon out of character, TK is the mature one of the digidestined and Patamon would (and has) sacrifice himself for his friends, especially his one true love Gatomon

Sure, Takeru is the mature one, but even mature guys can lust. It's just human nature. I can certainly see how Takeru could be the pervert and Daisuke could be the honorable one. After all, Takeru is the blonde.

[Wisemon]

the reason why I flamed you is because you made TK and Patamon out of character, TK is the mature one of the digidestined and Patamon would (and has) sacrifice himself for his friends, especially his one true love Gatomon

Angemon sacrificed himself for his friends, not Patamon, and that's only a slight character trait. Patamon really doesn't have any character, unless you count "adorable" as a characteristic.

[Wisemon]

Allow me to shoot down your other out of character arguments for Takeru. He got angry at not being alone with Hikari. He can get angry occasionally. It usually takes Devimon (that's when he punched Ken, remember). I doubt he can ever get angry enough to kick Daisuke's ass, as you wanted. Keep in mind, Daisuke is a soccer player, so he has more experience kicking things. I guess it's possible for Takeru to beat him, if he can channel his anger. I'd certainly like to see it. In some ways, Daisuke does have better control. He's more mature because he has less family shit to deal with. That's how he was able to save everybody in "The Last Temptation of The Digidestined".

[Wisemon]

Aniron also made Takeru look very good in one scene. While Miyako was topless, Takeru kept his eyes on Hikari. I think that was a sign of things to come in his fic. I think the most devoted boy should get the girl. If that's what happens, it won't be for you; that's for damn sure.