*first post in the authors forum for quite some time*
AGZ, mon amigo....let me just say man that I enjoy your writting quite a bit, the content is okay/good i like it, but the way you write your jokes or your little descriptions, fucking wicked! keep up the good work man I'm deffinitly gonna check up on this.
It's DAVIS!!! I knew it! I actually figured it out before his name was even mentioned! The minute "strangely pointed brown hair" was mentioned, I realised what was going on, and OMFG, I feel soooooooooooooo clever now!!
*calms down again*
That was a cool twist. Not bad, AGZ, not bad at all! :) As always, I'm looking forwards to the next installment. ^^
Urban, this is for you.
*hands urban dream a trophy with a plaque reading "HE FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT, PEOPLE, GIVE THIS MAN A HAND!"*
There. Enjoy. ^_^
*bows to Darkfox* Your words are most kind, Darkfox-san. May you live eternally in a house full of bare naked ladies. ^_^
And Tiamat, I wasn't feeling that in-tune with the story when I wrote it. With this I felt better, but I'm thinking it's going to require a little editing when all's said and done. :oops: Thanks for your words. ^_^
Enjoy, everyone, or I'll eat your souls. ^_^
I'd like to let it be known here that I'm officially taking a break from coloring to focus on writing. *pumps fists* YEAH! ^^
Scene...er...8? Yeah, that's right. 8. I was 8 once. Kari's 8. Yeah. I 8 some chicken last night... *gets thwapped* Ow...
***
Sometime between blinking and seeing the girl had turned, and now faced Tai. He took the barest look at her face before his eyes dipped down and instantaneously locked themselves on her breasts, which quivered tantalizingly under her thin, pink cotton shirt. So round, so so round...
He noticed he could see the points of her nipples pressing against the tight fabric, and half his brain slumped into a numb void, a black hole of conscious thought. His mouth hung slightly open, his breath coming and going in thin puffs. His penis, which had remained flaccid and quiet since Kari had barged into his room, rose with a cry of glee in his shorts and dived for those beautiful tits.
A giggle--girly and somehow sensual--brought Tai
Red Mage Dragon Tiamat
Guest
Think i don't need to fear about my soul.
It was a very enjoyable read, and it was again very good done. ^_^
Quote:Urban, this is for you.
*hands urban dream a trophy with a plaque reading "HE FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT, PEOPLE, GIVE THIS MAN A HAND!"*
Hey, THX for the trophy, man! ^^ I was actually going to put it onto my sig as a joke, but I had to deinstall my only halfway decent graphics program a few days ago and I even managed to fuck up my copy of MS Paint by deleting some important DLL files, so that's not happening :p
Quote:I'd like to let it be known here that I'm officially taking a break from coloring to focus on writing. *pumps fists* YEAH! ^^
That's the spirit :D If only more people had that kind of mentality, we could raise the DaD's lemon writing community from its grave in no time at all ^^;;
Oh, and about the story: Good stuff, as always. What else can I say, except of course: Looking forwards to the next installment!
Thank you, Tiamat! *puts away his soulsucker* ^_^:;;;
Hm...I'll have to make that for ya, Urban. Just for kicks. ^^
Okay, double update here, cause they were both written pretty quickly.
Scenes 9 and 10, comin at ya!
***
Kari could hear her brother behind her as she weaved her way through a forest of legs, and could hear, even louder, the grumblings and whinings of the people the poor boy was pushing past. She couldn't see much from where she was, but she knew where she was going. It wasn't her first time in this park.
An especially hairy knee bulged in her vision, and Kari jerked away from it, barely avoiding having her nose knocked in. She laid a slap on the side of the person's thigh then slid away before the slapee decided to return the favor.
"KARI!"
Grinning, she brushed her short brown hair away from her eyes and kept moving, knowing it was around here somewhere, somewhere...
"KARI!"
She stuck the fleshy edge of her palm in her mouth and bit down on it lightly, her mouth grinning around her teeth. She ducked between a pair of slacks and two very shapely legs as she tried to keep herself from giggling madly with anticipation. She nearly shook with the force her contained chortles, which threatened to burst from her like frenzied atomic particles.
"KARI!"
*Uh-oh*. Tai was getting closer. She squeezed between a two pairs of legs that were exceptionally close--were, in fact, rubbing against one another. She glanced up as she literally passed through, and grinned as she saw it was a kissing couple. Then she realized that both were men, blinked, and continued her trek through the tangle of limbs, ignoring the cries of anger that came from above whenever she happened to trod upon a toe or two.
"KARI, COME BACK HERE!"
*Sheesh, he's *close* all of a sudden...when did *that* happen?* Kari thought as she edged around a giggle of girls with ice cream cones, making "eh..." noises as drops of cream slid off the scoops and descended through the air, passing dangerously close to her.
She stepped out of the forest and into the free air, and sighed happily.
All was going to plan...
***
Tai's struggles through the throng were infuriating and embarrassing on an infinite amount of levels. The most basic of these were gathered in a simple triad: irritation at his sister for just running off like that, infuriation at the people congesting this part of park, and embarrassment from being laughed at by the aforementioned people. The disgustingly cute stuffed animal in his arms was the source for that laughter. Tai desperately wanted to just toss the thing into the air and run from it as fast as he could, but he knew the consequences. He didn't like to see that look on Kari's face; it made him feel as though he was the biggest dick in the universe.
Someone chuckled behind him, and Tai blushed. He did his best to ignore it, though, and continued to push his way through.
Suddenly his hand flailed into open air, and he stumbled out of the crowd and into a concrete clearing--and right into his sister.
"Kari! There you are!" He put a hand on her shoulder, hoping it would prevent her from dashing away again. "Don't ever do that a--" He blinked, and opened and closed his hand. Nothing. She was gone. "--gain." He scowled, his eyes drooping half-closed and his shoulders slumping. "..."
He was glad to see that, this time, she hadn't gone too far. The pizza vendor--just a little metal rolling cart with a canopy, and a little menu clipped to one support rod--was maybe twelve feet away. The guy behind it wore a burgundy red apron and a lot of even redder pimples, each of which gleamed nastily in the sun. He grinned at Kari when she poked her head over the top of the cart, her eyes travelling across the three pies that laid on the surface, trails of steam rising up from them. As Tai neared the cart, he noticed that the guy's teeth were chained with bright silver braces.
"What can I get you?" the guy asked. His voice was surprisingly deep and solid. It was a voice that didn't seem to belong in the body it inhabited.
Kari eyed each pie, then pointed at the middle one.
"Pepperoni it is, then." He slipped a slice from its place in the pizza and onto a flimsy paper plate, the bottom of which was immediately soaked with grease. He handed this to Kari, who took it with both hands.
The guy--no more than a kid, really--glanced up at Tai and grinned again. "And for you?"
"Um..." Tai examined his options. "Sausage."
"Gotcha." He got the slice and gave it to Tai, grinning ceaselessly.
Tai noted that, while the smile never shifted, the guy's eyes slipped down to the bear, widened slightly, then returned all-too-quickly to Tai's face. He felt irritation begin to tickle at his brain, but did his best to shake it off and grin back at the guy. "Thanks. How much do I owe you?"
The guy told him, and Tai stuffed the bear into his armpit and reached into his pocket--
"Why thank you, little lady."
Tai blinked as Kari passed the vendor some bills, who in turn passed her her change. She grinned innocently at him and tilted her head to the right. "Let's go sit down."
Tai nodded. He wanted to put this stupid bear down, and *quick*.
"Let's go."
***
Okay, okay, okay.
*sits down and thinks seriously*
Did you guys enjoy? Or no?
*hopes they eat pizza commonly in Japan*
agz
Enjoy? 'course I enjoyed! :)
'bout the pizza: You certainly do care about details, don't you? ^^ Don't worry about it too much. I don't know just how commonly they eat it there, but as far as I know they *do* eat it, and it's nothing special for 'em, even though it may not be as common as some of their own food.
You're doing just fine there. Keep up the good work! *thumbs up and peace sign*
wow your realy good!
Its taken me a while to read it all but your good!
Keep em coming!!!
Thanks, Fangirl and urban!
Yes, Urban, I *am* very anal. Sometimes it's a good thing. ^^
Okay, double update due to untimeliness.
***
Tai's struggles through the throng were infuriating and embarrassing on an infinite amount of levels. The most basic of these were gathered in a simple triad: irritation at his sister for just running off like that, infuriation at the people congesting this part of park, and embarrassment from being laughed at by the aforementioned people. The disgustingly cute stuffed animal in his arms was the source for that laughter. Tai desperately wanted to just toss the thing into the air and run from it as fast as he could, but he knew the consequences. He didn't like to see that look on Kari's face; it made him feel as though he was the biggest dick in the universe.
Someone chuckled behind him, and Tai blushed. He did his best to ignore it, though, and continued to push his way through.
Suddenly his hand flailed into open air, and he stumbled out of the crowd and into a concrete clearing--and right into his sister.
"Kari! There you are!" He put a hand on her shoulder, hoping it would prevent her from dashing away again. "Don't ever do that a--" He blinked, and opened and closed his hand. Nothing. She was gone. "--gain." He scowled, his eyes drooping half-closed and his shoulders slumping. "..."
He was glad to see that, this time, she hadn't gone too far. The pizza vendor--just a little metal rolling cart with a canopy, and a little menu clipped to one support rod--was maybe twelve feet away. The guy behind it wore a burgundy red apron and a lot of even redder pimples, each of which gleamed nastily in the sun. He grinned at Kari when she poked her head over the top of the cart, her eyes travelling across the three pies that laid on the surface, trails of steam rising up from them. As Tai neared the cart, he noticed that the guy's teeth were chained with bright silver braces.
"What can I get you?" the guy asked. His voice was surprisingly deep and solid. It was a voice that didn't seem to belong in the body it inhabited.
Kari eyed each pie, then pointed at the middle one.
"Pepperoni it is, then." He slipped a slice from its place in the pizza and onto a flimsy paper plate, the bottom of which was immediately soaked with grease. He handed this to Kari, who took it with both hands.
The guy--no more than a kid, really--glanced up at Tai and grinned again. "And for you?"
"Um..." Tai examined his options. "Sausage."
"Gotcha." He got the slice and gave it to Tai, grinning ceaselessly.
Tai noted that, while the smile never shifted, the guy's eyes slipped down to the bear, widened slightly, then returned all-too-quickly to Tai's face. He felt irritation begin to tickle at his brain, but did his best to shake it off and grin back at the guy. "Thanks. How much do I owe you?"
The guy told him, and Tai stuffed the bear into his armpit and reached into his pocket--
"Why thank you, little lady."
Tai blinked as Kari passed the vendor some bills, who in turn passed her her change. She grinned innocently at him and tilted her head to the right. "Let's go sit down."
Tai nodded. He wanted to put this stupid bear down, and *quick*.
"Let's go."
***
They walked together, side by side, towards the tables, which were clustered opposite the pizza vendor. The whole area was just a rectangle of concrete surrounded by bushes and trees that stretched far too high for most people to see over. Two sides of the rectangle were lined with vendors--for ice cream, pizza, hot dogs, ramen, and other such fast foods. The next side was lined with tables of the same make and model. All were circular in nature, all curves and rounded edges, and each one was topped with a massive umbrella. A few dozen people, in groups or couplets or, occasionally, alone, were scattered among these tables. They chatted and chirped and sat silently alone without end.
Kari took the initiative and lead the way, heading for a table in the corner. Tai followed without heed; he didn't really care where they sat.
There were three seats. Tai placed the bear in one and dropped down into the chair closest to it. He realized his feet were aching, and fought his immediate urge to kick off his shoes and tenderize his soles a bit. He took a bite of his pizza instead.
Kari climbed into the chair and placed her napkinned slice on the table. She gazed at it for a little bit, picked it up, and nibbled on it. Her appetite had somehow evaporated into thin air. She wiggled uncomfortably in her seat, her shirt swishing back and forth.
Tai ripped another chunk of pie off his slice and chewed slowly. Grease began to seep between his teeth, and shreds of cheese slipped down his throat. He leaned forward, his elbow resting heavily on the table. His head lay in his hand, cycling up and down with every rise and fall of his jaw.
Kari's hands gripped the edges of her chair as she wiggled some more. Her gaze rested on her feet, which were kicking at the air under the table. It rose only long enough for her to notice the obscuring wall made by the long branches and green leaves of a very ambitious bush. Once this information had been noted and recorded her eyes returned to her feet.
Tai was contemplating the cash in his pocket. If he could just convince his sister to let him go back to that one game and try his luck, all would be well and good. Kinda. It'd be even better if he knew, without a doubt, that he could actually get that game.
*Someone's won it already, I bet,* he decided with a scowl. *Yeah. Someone else got it. They're probably at home right now, playing it. Yeah. It was a lost cause. It's too late now.*
Kari's hands were turning white as her grip on the chair tightened and tightened. She was unconsciously gnawing on her upper lip, which was beaded with sweat. The salty taste of it didn't register in her mind in the slightest. A breeze ran its course across her body, and she shuddered involuntarily. The feel of even that mildest of winds was like an Arctic gale on her skin.
*Now? Do I do now? Now?* she thought frantically. *What about now?*
Tai chewed and gulped down the crust of his pizza, then burped. He grimaced for a moment, then his mind returned to its pessimism and his face was slack again.
*Now.*
Tai blinked as he felt the table shake and rattle underneath his arm, scattering his thoughts to the farthest reaches of his brain. He looked up, blinked twice confusedly, and said "Hey, why are you on the tabl--"
His words became white noise as his sister's lips touched his.
***
^_^
I'm really looking forward to comments on THIS.
agz
Red Mage Dragon Tiamat
Guest
ok, haven't checked the last time, and I will give a comment for your last two updates.
Like the first time, and everytime I told you they are really great done, and I like it very much. Just go on with your story like you did all times before. ^^
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