Lonely

[Takatofan1986]

I hope this is okay... there used to be a fourm for this kind of stuff but I don't see it now.

I have been a member here, off and on, with different names, since 2003 or so.

I am a 28 year old guy, and I have a lot of issues. One of the biggest things is I have a very rare condition called Mobious Syndrome. Basically, my face is crooked. My mind is fine, but... if you looked at me, you would assume there was something wrong, and most do. Only had one friend most of school, and they only came around when they were really bored or wanted something. When I was working, I finally made a couple friends at one point, that we would actually go and do things. It didn't last that long, but it was awesome while it lasted.

I DO have a boyfriend, but even though we've been together 6 years, he still hasn't moved here, he visits, but on most days I only get to see him about 3 hours a day, and those 3 hours I am on cloud 9, but the rest of the day I get sad, lonely, bored, and depressed really easily.

The other big issue I have is Aspburgers - it's a autism spectrum disorder, and I get obsessed with things, IE Digimon. But also TV in general, Anime and Music too. The other part of this is that I'm socially awkward, and don't know how to act around people, and then when people do talk to me, I get really paranoid that I am annoying them, and stop talking to them.

With the aspburgers, it causes a few problems now at my age. First of all, my obsessions are stuck in the past. I would rather rewatch anime and tv shows I have watched a million times over. I mean... I am SURE I have watched Tamers at LEAST 100 times, and I'm not even exaggerating. Same thing with the show Friends.

I used to have a lot of online friends. Even when I would lose one or two I would find another. A few stuck with me for many many years, but I'm down to one close friend online that isn't my boyfriend... But he has issues and focuses on himself, not a balanced friendship.

My oooold best friend would tell me what anime to watch, and he would... usually steer me the right direction, some great anime I wouldn't have went near without him. (Seriously: Yakitate!! Japan, watch it!!!) But somehow without that direction I generally don't watch a lot new, though I have taken a few chances lately and found a couple interesting shows, but that doesn't happen that often.

I feel like I do just about the same things that I used to, but, I just don't find friends like I used to. Another issue I have is, at my age, I would feel weird talking to, teenagers for example, so I am afraid to reach out to people especially in this fandom because, I know there are many like me that have stuck with Digimon and are older, but I know there is also a younger audience.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say. If anyone reads this and wants to PM me or anything, I welcome that, but I am assuming this was just weird, and I'm sorry for that. I hope I didn't break any rules or anything.

Thanks for reading.

[UnknownH]

That's perfectly normal. On the internet. It's not that bad really. Difficult but I actually know a few people with similar issues.
Also I saw Yakitate Ja-pan! Great show.

[ENAIC]

While I cannot relate from the entire perspective you have, I too was and still am to some degree awkward around other people. It got better the more I interacted with people(in my case beginning with fast food workers when ordering) but from what I read that hasn't really helped with you very much. I'm not sure what I could say to offer you as far as advice goes. But maybe you could find a wider support group within the many diverse subreddit communities available at reddit.com? It may take some searching but I think you would find those who would see you for who you are and accept you as you are, and help you to take steps toward emerging from your social awkwardness and into a more confident mindset.

The mind can be a very dark place when left to its own devices, and outside influences cannot always help one rise out of that - people will be people, and people can be rude, mean, and self-centered in the face of anything they do not appreciate. But to those who react so it is best to look at what is positive and good instead of honing in upon their darkness. You've done nothing wrong by writing your thoughts out like this and asking for friendship. The DaD may simply be a slower response compared to alternative options.

What sort of other anime have you become interested in? I myself favor the lineup of Toonami for shows I do not have to put much, if any effort, into viewing each Saturday night at midnight.

[Takatofan1986]

UnknownH: Thanks! And yeah, YJ is awesome!!! :D

ENAIC: Thank you so much! Yeah, fast food coworkers... They were nice to me, mostly, and would talk to me a little, but none of them wanted to hang out outside of work or anything like that.

I have actually never heard of that site, I will have to give that a try
.
The mind can be veeery dark indeed, and sometimes I really need a distraction.

What's bad is since I posted this I realized that it was partially my fault, as, I am just not that active anywhere anymore, and that won't get you any friends. So I rejoined an anime fourm, and found that most people there are actually OLDER than me... :D Even though I haven't made any friends yet and no one has talked to me outside of the intro thread, I already feel a little bit better, that I'm actively trying.

As for Toonami, my problem is I wanna start at the beginning, so, I may try one piece one day, as it seems to be popular, but, I wouldn't want to watch it randomly. The last anime I watched on Toonami was Space Dandy, and before that Kekkashi. (But I had seen that subbed before). I still keep an eye on their scedule though hoping something good will come on.

The anime I have discovered lately is Space Brothers, about two adult brothers, one is an astronaut, and the other gave up his dream to be one, and at about 30 decides to give it a go. It's really interesting, but can be slow at times.

The other one is Silver Spoon, It's about a guy who goes to an agriculture college, just because he thinks it won't be as stressful, and it's really funny sometimes and interesting. It reminded me of another show that I saw years ago, that my old friend had me watch, Moyashimon, about a guy going to an agriculture school that could SEE microbes O_O. It was interesting and funny too.

[UnknownH]

Welcome. But be careful about Reddit. It's all sorts of everything. And I mean that.

[Sophiel]

I'm on Reddit quite often and while yes it has it's asshats, trolls, and whatnot, you can almost literally find anything you're looking for and other people who are also interested in it. There's a saying "there's a subreddit for everything"*. Honestly I've been trying to find a place to fill an itch for Digimon that's similar to this play in it's heyday, roleplaying and all. I'd like for this place to rise from the dead, but I don't know man, I don't know.


*If there isn't a subreddit for it, there will be one.

[UnknownH]

That's actually very true. But something doesn't need a sub for it. You know what I mean.