I need help!

[The Reclaimer]

The councolers I have been seeing since I was 7, since I became suicidal, I have had violent parents and now violent sister. The reason they have failied is because before they say I'm better they say all the time after I have left seeing them about my problem I'm suppose to get better right after, but after I have left the counciling treatment, I go back and become suicidal for some odd reason.

Okay so assuming you are in your mid to late teens now, 11 makes more sense. So basically they say treatment is done and that you should feel better but you leave and start to feel suicidal again. I hope I got that right.

You really need to go back in for more counseling. Counselors should not be releasing you and saying "You'll feel better soon." You should be in sessions until you are better, and can feel that way for several sessions. It should not end when they say "We're done" it should end when you decide to say "I think I've come to a point where we can try stopping and see how it goes". It should not be about how long you have been with them or how you should be feeling, it should be about how you are feeling and how much progress you are making.

Find a new counselor and stick with them. Make sure in your first meeting that you make your history with others clear (about suicidal feelings returning after counseling), and make sure that they are willing to be in it for the long haul. Again, it's not about them saying you should be feeling better now, we're done. If they say that you need to let them know if you are not ready. Plus I would think this is a case where you should be weened from treatment. Maybe go once a week, then every other week, then once a month, then every couple months, etc. You should be somewhere that you can check in when needed, and still have that counselor as a support system if needed.

Professional help is the best course, it's going to help you do all the things johnalt is asking you to think about, but it's also going to help you restructure the way you perceive things and deal with the emotional and physical trauma of your past.