07-11-2010, 02:18 AM
*lol* If she's growing larger than him, then I would think that Guilmon should be the one worshiping her. :P Anyways, it was a fun little story.
I do need to point out one problem that keeps appearing in your stories though: Run-on sentences. It's a good idea to split apart separate ideas if your sentences starts to exceed 30 or so words. For example:
That's a lot of words all at once with no break. How about we try this?
Somehow, Guilmon instantly responded to her pleas and his red snout dug down onto her boobs. His penis stretched her womb out to its limits and made her stomach bulge, causing her melons to bounces and jiggle like jello. They soon came to a halt though when Gulmon's maw easily clamped around both tits and sucked them like they were a single big pacifier.
I do need to point out one problem that keeps appearing in your stories though: Run-on sentences. It's a good idea to split apart separate ideas if your sentences starts to exceed 30 or so words. For example:
Quote:Somehow, Guilmon instantly responded to her pleas and his red snout dug down onto her boobs which were being constantly appalled by the bulge in her stomach which was Guilmon’s penis stretching her womb out to its limits, making the melons bounce and jiggle like jello which was stopped by Guilmon’s maw as it easily clamped around both breasts at once, leaving only small portions of their sides out as he literally began sucking her tits as if they were a single big pacifier.
That's a lot of words all at once with no break. How about we try this?
Somehow, Guilmon instantly responded to her pleas and his red snout dug down onto her boobs. His penis stretched her womb out to its limits and made her stomach bulge, causing her melons to bounces and jiggle like jello. They soon came to a halt though when Gulmon's maw easily clamped around both tits and sucked them like they were a single big pacifier.
