Failed attempts at living simple lives are what keep me coming back to you

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

out of any pentameter and the last one is fine because its gives its concussive edge to the ending and makes for a better point to the piece.

Pentameter? As I understand it, in poetry terms, pentameter is five sets of soft and strong stresses. Those lines are only four sets. If you're wondering about the little pause in the middle of those lines, it's to transition from the narrative verse to the imperative chorus in mid-sentence. Here's where I got the idea for the structure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5F-xHX1PDE

Well its just that the structure of the words is fine just seems to be a little bit to slow for the part I suggested for you to speed up. Hence why I mentioned those lines. Just thought by speeding it up before hitting the line may be better for the first two and then left the way you have it on its weird syncopation scheme for the ending.

I don't have to boy to your fix.

It's "I don't have to bow to your fix." The fifth word of each of those three lines has an "ow" sound to align with the "now" at the end.

Sorry for the typo.