Reason why I am absent ever now and then.

[MISTER BIG T]

Yo, yo, YO! Wazzup mah homie slices of bread and cucumber juice?!? Fiddler on meh ticklers?!




They all laugh at my missery!!

I was chillin' and rubbin' mah ghetto belly button (It's ghetto because it has its own afro!) when I was asked

"Yo biatch, wuzzup with you neva posting anymore like u used too foo'?"

And I understanding! I have not been posting active so here explanation. To 2nd level it lead you may!




Oh God it's like Jenova!! My nipples are hardening from the subtleness!!!

I was cruising around in my mad phat pimped out car (Purple mazda with broken suspension, for anyone caring) when I saw a plane fly over me. It was not a plane, it was SUPERMAN!

Super: Greetings, King of Sadism!!
Me: 'sup?
Super: The world is in peril, the terrorists are bombing buildings, the dam is overflooding, the forrest is burning, and babies heads are exploding!!
Me: SHOCK!!
Super: YES!
Me: What can I do? I'm just an average man, who enjoys a beer ever now and then!
Super: So you think but after I teach you the art of FUNG HOO you shall be the One.
Me: Oh cool, I get it. That's a matrix reference. I loved the first movie.
Super: What? NO! Matrix is gay! I was talking about becoming literally the number one.
Me: Uhhh... And how is this exactly solving the world crisis?
Super: SECRET UNTILL THE END!!

So I became the digit number "one" and was on my quest to save the universe from the mysterious dangers. Dressed only in potato bag and Jerry Lawler mask, no one could ever tell me from my real identity.

But alas, I realized my crimefighting would not be easy as I had no super powers at all whatsoever. The only skill I had was eat ten gallons of cholate without throwing up and I don't think that's enough to call yourself Super Hero. Even Aquaman would laugh at me if I'd show up with my resume to Justice League with that power in list!

Fortunately, Superman instructed me even further during FUNG HOO training. He also explained it was used by Geishas for centuries to protect themselves against customers who liked to play around with girls but were really evil and power hungry.



In the youth of America lies the future of our modern world. This was already said by the ancient Romans.

Afterwards I learnt new special abilities, like order my sock drawer in less than 3 hours and the ability to find actually GOOD hentai pictures of World Of Warcraft. The joke was on the evils, as I'd surely use my powers to help the world!

So now, as a defender of justice and as THE ONE I protect the earth using my ultra leet skills. Which is why I've not posted as much as I used to.