08-25-2006, 12:21 AM
During one of my habitual rambles along the countryside of the internet, I discovered an author we all know and love, but who hadn't submitted this story to the DaD.
It's The Boss. Yes, the one which is infamous.
Reo and I share a little soft spot for Ken, so the story is, narturally, Five Star Service, a Daisuke and Ken coupling.
The story has no plot: it's a simple excuse for some fun. I'm not complaining, it's quite enjoyable. I doubt Daisuke would say "certainly", though. It just doesn't sound right in his voice. Otherwise, the image of a near-naked Daisuke waiting on a practicly nude Ken is perfectly grin-worthy.
Some small notes, like "...Obviously turned on by what he was doing" aren't entirely nessesary. Reo had done a perfectly good job showing us Ken was turned on without having to poke us in the eye with blunt statement.
The cheek-play, without actually discribing it, stirs the reader to the texture of both the tongue and the buttock.
The fact Ken is shown to be getting a tan for the first time with that small remark "If this what it's like to have a tan..." creates a whole backstory for why they're there. I can imagine the scene: Early one summer dawn, Ken lying sidelong over Daisuke, his pale legs in the air, admiring Daisuke's just waking form in the golden light. He mentions just how good his tan looks, as Daisuke grins and reaches his arms out to cuddle him. Daisuke mentions that he could just imagine Ken with a tan, and they begin to discuss just how Ken would get it, weaving a mediterranean senario of relaxation. Ken recalls as place in the Digital World he once went to, and the rest rolls out like a red carpet.
All that from one sentence of speech? That's clever.
The paragraph of Daisuke's workings down Ken's body is a stylish example of Nate's "Omit useless words" rule, where many such as myself might decide to discribe the texture or feel of Daisuke's kisses or Ken's skin, but Reo leaves it to our imagination, and the reader is left conjuring her own idea of the feelings, just like his cheeky bottom kissing episode earlier. The narration is magic. Even at the begining, we could feel the sunlight warming our bare arms and shoulders, and recall the peace of the ruins and movement of the water. This is how to take advantage of a reader's active imagination.
It's not just the ladies who do dialogue! I've been looking for a male writer who writes like this: the entire scene leaves sensation to the imagination through the catalogue of speech and reaction. Boss has style.
Anyone who has an imagination and a thing for Ken, Daisuke, and suntans should read this lemon. Their own imaginations will be used by a careful and sensual author.
It's The Boss. Yes, the one which is infamous.
Reo and I share a little soft spot for Ken, so the story is, narturally, Five Star Service, a Daisuke and Ken coupling.
The story has no plot: it's a simple excuse for some fun. I'm not complaining, it's quite enjoyable. I doubt Daisuke would say "certainly", though. It just doesn't sound right in his voice. Otherwise, the image of a near-naked Daisuke waiting on a practicly nude Ken is perfectly grin-worthy.
Some small notes, like "...Obviously turned on by what he was doing" aren't entirely nessesary. Reo had done a perfectly good job showing us Ken was turned on without having to poke us in the eye with blunt statement.
The cheek-play, without actually discribing it, stirs the reader to the texture of both the tongue and the buttock.
The fact Ken is shown to be getting a tan for the first time with that small remark "If this what it's like to have a tan..." creates a whole backstory for why they're there. I can imagine the scene: Early one summer dawn, Ken lying sidelong over Daisuke, his pale legs in the air, admiring Daisuke's just waking form in the golden light. He mentions just how good his tan looks, as Daisuke grins and reaches his arms out to cuddle him. Daisuke mentions that he could just imagine Ken with a tan, and they begin to discuss just how Ken would get it, weaving a mediterranean senario of relaxation. Ken recalls as place in the Digital World he once went to, and the rest rolls out like a red carpet.
All that from one sentence of speech? That's clever.
The paragraph of Daisuke's workings down Ken's body is a stylish example of Nate's "Omit useless words" rule, where many such as myself might decide to discribe the texture or feel of Daisuke's kisses or Ken's skin, but Reo leaves it to our imagination, and the reader is left conjuring her own idea of the feelings, just like his cheeky bottom kissing episode earlier. The narration is magic. Even at the begining, we could feel the sunlight warming our bare arms and shoulders, and recall the peace of the ruins and movement of the water. This is how to take advantage of a reader's active imagination.
It's not just the ladies who do dialogue! I've been looking for a male writer who writes like this: the entire scene leaves sensation to the imagination through the catalogue of speech and reaction. Boss has style.
Anyone who has an imagination and a thing for Ken, Daisuke, and suntans should read this lemon. Their own imaginations will be used by a careful and sensual author.