02-10-2006, 05:06 AM
Year after year, it's the same.
When it's about to be my birthday (the 13th February, senjuro), I count it as if it was a year that ends, in a way more personal way than New Year.
And every year, it's the same.
The same problems.
No matter how much I struggle, every year I have the same fucking problems.
I was going to graduate this year. I still haven't. I should have done it years ago. I can't help it--I hate my career.
I hoped I would have a boyfriend even if it was a long distance relationship. I forgot to say: a boyfriend that loved me. I thought it was unnecessary, but I didn't know. In any case, I'm alone as usual, I'm still a virgin and haven't even kissed a guy.
Related to the first, I still live on little money. And things are geting more and more expensive around.
The only thing that has changed is that I have a paid work now. But I only work Tuesdays and Thursdays' mornings, and I get paid 9 pesos an hour (3 dollars) As you can imagine, I can't buy that manor I wanted with it. Plus I have a really crazed pace at work. It's fine cuz it's little time and keeps me in shape. But with any more time I'd become crazy.
I always have, too, a person that deludes me a little before my birthday. I've had it for the past 3 years.
In any case, I'm so depressed. It was 5 years ago, right in my birthday, when I tried to kill myself for the second time. I always told myself that things could get better with time...but....
I wonder if 10 years from now on, I'll still be complaining about the same things....
When it's about to be my birthday (the 13th February, senjuro), I count it as if it was a year that ends, in a way more personal way than New Year.
And every year, it's the same.
The same problems.
No matter how much I struggle, every year I have the same fucking problems.
I was going to graduate this year. I still haven't. I should have done it years ago. I can't help it--I hate my career.
I hoped I would have a boyfriend even if it was a long distance relationship. I forgot to say: a boyfriend that loved me. I thought it was unnecessary, but I didn't know. In any case, I'm alone as usual, I'm still a virgin and haven't even kissed a guy.
Related to the first, I still live on little money. And things are geting more and more expensive around.
The only thing that has changed is that I have a paid work now. But I only work Tuesdays and Thursdays' mornings, and I get paid 9 pesos an hour (3 dollars) As you can imagine, I can't buy that manor I wanted with it. Plus I have a really crazed pace at work. It's fine cuz it's little time and keeps me in shape. But with any more time I'd become crazy.
I always have, too, a person that deludes me a little before my birthday. I've had it for the past 3 years.
In any case, I'm so depressed. It was 5 years ago, right in my birthday, when I tried to kill myself for the second time. I always told myself that things could get better with time...but....
I wonder if 10 years from now on, I'll still be complaining about the same things....