12-06-2005, 09:35 AM
Next up: CrimsonPhoenixmon's "Takari Recess"
Obviously, it's a Takari, and I don't disagree with Takari as a couple. In fact, I wrote a Takari myself, but damn, this is nauseating, as are most Takari's.
I read through the author's script format intro, and I commend him for not putting himself directly into the story. If you want to be a god, as a writer, that's fine. The story itself: It's stupid and boring up until the lemon scene, laced with spelling and grammatical errors, and includes nothing that would lead to a series, despite what the author claims. The lemon scene is more efforted, but nothing special. As a one-shot, I give this 3/10. However, the author claims that this isn't a one-shot, so I give it 2/10.
CrimsonPhoenixmon: I'm probably shit at it, but if I'm not these are for your pleasure........
Sora: Who ever said that you're shit?
That's what the main man say.
Obviously, it's a Takari, and I don't disagree with Takari as a couple. In fact, I wrote a Takari myself, but damn, this is nauseating, as are most Takari's.
I read through the author's script format intro, and I commend him for not putting himself directly into the story. If you want to be a god, as a writer, that's fine. The story itself: It's stupid and boring up until the lemon scene, laced with spelling and grammatical errors, and includes nothing that would lead to a series, despite what the author claims. The lemon scene is more efforted, but nothing special. As a one-shot, I give this 3/10. However, the author claims that this isn't a one-shot, so I give it 2/10.
CrimsonPhoenixmon: I'm probably shit at it, but if I'm not these are for your pleasure........
Sora: Who ever said that you're shit?
That's what the main man say.
"I looked up and saw you;
I know that you saw me.
We froze but for a moment
In empathy."-Rise Against