01-23-2004, 02:31 PM
http://www.geocities.com/c_riley2003/Feather.doc
(copy and paste)
I was just going to copy and paste it here, but it has indentations, italics, and double spacing which make it a pain to show any other way than the file itself.
There is also a note at the top which tells about what direction I'm headed in as far as writing lemons goes. If you want to flame me, don't bother, but if you have something else you want to say, its welcome.
Please try to give some feedback on this lemon, I worked really hard on it trying to keep the same mood as "The Trial" had which is hard since I wrote "The Trial" several months ago. Still, I think I did a pretty okay job. The sex scene isn't raunchy because that's not my style (anymore,) and if you're just here to jerk (or jill :p) off, I warn you that there's a lot of "plot" in the way.
Even if its just one line or something, please try to tell me about anything you'd like me to change, be it the writing style, the types of pairings, or anything. The only way I improve is with feedback, so ... thanks in advance to anyone who does this.
I hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing it (which is always a good sign that the work is quality.) Thank you again, and look forward to the next part which won't take NEARLY as long to get out.
-Kyle X
(copy and paste)
I was just going to copy and paste it here, but it has indentations, italics, and double spacing which make it a pain to show any other way than the file itself.
There is also a note at the top which tells about what direction I'm headed in as far as writing lemons goes. If you want to flame me, don't bother, but if you have something else you want to say, its welcome.
Please try to give some feedback on this lemon, I worked really hard on it trying to keep the same mood as "The Trial" had which is hard since I wrote "The Trial" several months ago. Still, I think I did a pretty okay job. The sex scene isn't raunchy because that's not my style (anymore,) and if you're just here to jerk (or jill :p) off, I warn you that there's a lot of "plot" in the way.
Even if its just one line or something, please try to tell me about anything you'd like me to change, be it the writing style, the types of pairings, or anything. The only way I improve is with feedback, so ... thanks in advance to anyone who does this.
I hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing it (which is always a good sign that the work is quality.) Thank you again, and look forward to the next part which won't take NEARLY as long to get out.
-Kyle X