08-06-2011, 05:28 PM
Ever have one of those days where you really need to talk to someone, just find some sliver of hope in a day that's otherwise shit? I've been having that all fucking week.
A few weeks back my girlfriend lost her computer, so I only get to talk to her for one measly hour a night. My friends are always too busy for my whining, either that or they just don't give a shit. I don't know anymore.
My dad lost his benefits, which leaves us with what he gets from social security, IF that holds out, and what little pay I get from work. Normally when my stress gets this bad I go out to the washout by the creek and go shoot my 9mm pistol. The recoil, the noise, the gunsmoke, and the destruction of the targets make me feel better. But now that the finances have been severely restricted, I can't go and do that anymore, and try and save ammunition for when it's really needed. Because of the finances being what they are, we are having to move once again, this time to where my grandfather and uncle are at, since they're willing to sell a house to my dad that's in the family for 1/5th of what we're paying for rent now. My internet, and my phone and it's marvelous 2-year contract don't work out there. Thanks alot T-Mobile. 7 years of customer loyalty doesn't mean shit when you move out to Butt-Fuck Egypt.
One of my friends is so nose-deep in his studies than anytime I bother him it's an inconvenience. Fine by me, everyone needs their education. When I try my other friend to let some steam off, He's STILL being humped by several different idiots from around the internet, and waiting an hour for a one-line post is about as calming as waiting in line at the DMV. I tried the last one of my circle of friends, the one who happens to be the closest to me by a whole 700 miles, and I get a VERY scathing text back from his number by his girlfriend saying she doesn't want him being a furry anymore and all this good shit. It was at this point I threw the connecting rod.
My life is slowly falling to shit and I have no way of releasing the stress or even feeling better about it. The Ammunition I have is now more or less worth it's weight in gold, and the few people I trust enough to genuinely care about my problems can't be around. I'm getting overwhelmed by moving to a place I don't want a go, possibly losing a job I don't even like, and all of the small number of friends that I have....they feel like they aren't even around anymore.
It's two in the morning, I have work in a few hours, and I can't even sleep because the pressure is to the point where I don't know if I can take it anymore.
I hate life, and I hate people.
I don't know how much longer I can take being pushed aside, stepped on, and having my opinions ignored before I snap and do something many people will regret. I seriously can't take much more of this shit....
I don't even think I'm asking for much....just someone to let me know things are going to get better....It's not my fault I'm not comfortable around new people, otherwise I would go out and get new friends...the ones I have I thought were enough, but I guess not....not whenever you're stuck looking over the edge and someone's trying to push you off it.
A few weeks back my girlfriend lost her computer, so I only get to talk to her for one measly hour a night. My friends are always too busy for my whining, either that or they just don't give a shit. I don't know anymore.
My dad lost his benefits, which leaves us with what he gets from social security, IF that holds out, and what little pay I get from work. Normally when my stress gets this bad I go out to the washout by the creek and go shoot my 9mm pistol. The recoil, the noise, the gunsmoke, and the destruction of the targets make me feel better. But now that the finances have been severely restricted, I can't go and do that anymore, and try and save ammunition for when it's really needed. Because of the finances being what they are, we are having to move once again, this time to where my grandfather and uncle are at, since they're willing to sell a house to my dad that's in the family for 1/5th of what we're paying for rent now. My internet, and my phone and it's marvelous 2-year contract don't work out there. Thanks alot T-Mobile. 7 years of customer loyalty doesn't mean shit when you move out to Butt-Fuck Egypt.
One of my friends is so nose-deep in his studies than anytime I bother him it's an inconvenience. Fine by me, everyone needs their education. When I try my other friend to let some steam off, He's STILL being humped by several different idiots from around the internet, and waiting an hour for a one-line post is about as calming as waiting in line at the DMV. I tried the last one of my circle of friends, the one who happens to be the closest to me by a whole 700 miles, and I get a VERY scathing text back from his number by his girlfriend saying she doesn't want him being a furry anymore and all this good shit. It was at this point I threw the connecting rod.
My life is slowly falling to shit and I have no way of releasing the stress or even feeling better about it. The Ammunition I have is now more or less worth it's weight in gold, and the few people I trust enough to genuinely care about my problems can't be around. I'm getting overwhelmed by moving to a place I don't want a go, possibly losing a job I don't even like, and all of the small number of friends that I have....they feel like they aren't even around anymore.
It's two in the morning, I have work in a few hours, and I can't even sleep because the pressure is to the point where I don't know if I can take it anymore.
I hate life, and I hate people.
I don't know how much longer I can take being pushed aside, stepped on, and having my opinions ignored before I snap and do something many people will regret. I seriously can't take much more of this shit....
I don't even think I'm asking for much....just someone to let me know things are going to get better....It's not my fault I'm not comfortable around new people, otherwise I would go out and get new friends...the ones I have I thought were enough, but I guess not....not whenever you're stuck looking over the edge and someone's trying to push you off it.
The last mutt standing.
The one and only, Cowboy from Hell.
******
Bury me with my guns on,
So when I reach the other side,
I can show him what it feels like to die.
I can show him what it feels like to die.
Bury me with my guns on,
So when I'm cast out of the skies,
I can shoot the Devil right between the eyes.
