05-30-2011, 07:30 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-30-2011, 07:31 AM by Frisk E. Coyote.)
Oh no, Bee... You were druuunk when you put this up, so I understand you were pretty emotional at the time, and I appreciate everything you've said to stand up for me... but I have to stand up for myself. I'm not very good at it, and I've let many people take advantage of me in the past, but I have to learn how to do it myself... I just wish that people wouldn't take so much offense to me having an opinion as they did yesterday.
The majority of them are from FA, InkBunny and SoFurry, not from here, and 1/10th of them aren't furries, but people from old forums I used to be a member of, like a now defunct Harry Potter forum, and a Freakazoid forum two years back, so it's not just furries, it's people in general. I'm very open and supportive toward strangers, so they in turn open up to me and trust me with their emotions... they just end up forgetting I have them myself. It's my fault though, I think I come off as an indestructible RP Machine, so they treat me like one. I don't know if I ever acted like a slave though... I know I'm naturally submissive, but I don't think I ever told them it was okay to mistreat and neglect me. Maybe that came naturally...
And Boss did tell me not to bottle anything up because it's unhealthy... I just didn't really have anyone I could talk to when I needed the affection and reassurance and appreciation the most.
A handful of the people who are my 'clients' got to see a side of me I wish no one had ever seen before, but I am very thankful you were there for me to cry on when I broke, and I apologize for splashing you with all that drama and stress. This is why I chose to be a cartoon character as a Furry! Everything's fun when one's a toon, a toon can never die, or be permanently hurt, and no matter what happens (lest they be dunked in DIP from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".), they always bounce right back up to take more of life's punishments. I mean, I've heard that one maxim; "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger", and thought "Y'know, Wile E. Coyote has almost died more than anyone I know...", and figured, "Hey! I'll be a cartoon! Cartoons are strong!"
Not that anyone I RP'd cared about that. Everyone wants the character I made just for them, to suit their personality, their turn-ons, their desires. No one wants to hear about their backgrounds, or their likes and dislikes, or even care about their personalities. I'm left with one-dimensional husks of people with stereotypical labels like "The Jock" or "The Nerd" or "The Slut". I hate making characters who are shallow like that, and I hate playing them. But I play as them almost every day because some girl has a fight with her parents, or some guy is trying to cut himself because the girl he liked turned him down, and I cannot say no to those people. I don't think I even know how to say no. It's a word I have to practice saying. I can't always say "yes" when asked if I'm alright.
Things will be different now, I promise! No more being stomped on and dragged around to do things I don't wanna. There will no longer be any breakdowns like this. I'm going to cultivate a pair of steel balls and tell people how I really feel when they make me do things I don't feel like doing.
The majority of them are from FA, InkBunny and SoFurry, not from here, and 1/10th of them aren't furries, but people from old forums I used to be a member of, like a now defunct Harry Potter forum, and a Freakazoid forum two years back, so it's not just furries, it's people in general. I'm very open and supportive toward strangers, so they in turn open up to me and trust me with their emotions... they just end up forgetting I have them myself. It's my fault though, I think I come off as an indestructible RP Machine, so they treat me like one. I don't know if I ever acted like a slave though... I know I'm naturally submissive, but I don't think I ever told them it was okay to mistreat and neglect me. Maybe that came naturally...
And Boss did tell me not to bottle anything up because it's unhealthy... I just didn't really have anyone I could talk to when I needed the affection and reassurance and appreciation the most.
A handful of the people who are my 'clients' got to see a side of me I wish no one had ever seen before, but I am very thankful you were there for me to cry on when I broke, and I apologize for splashing you with all that drama and stress. This is why I chose to be a cartoon character as a Furry! Everything's fun when one's a toon, a toon can never die, or be permanently hurt, and no matter what happens (lest they be dunked in DIP from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".), they always bounce right back up to take more of life's punishments. I mean, I've heard that one maxim; "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger", and thought "Y'know, Wile E. Coyote has almost died more than anyone I know...", and figured, "Hey! I'll be a cartoon! Cartoons are strong!"
Not that anyone I RP'd cared about that. Everyone wants the character I made just for them, to suit their personality, their turn-ons, their desires. No one wants to hear about their backgrounds, or their likes and dislikes, or even care about their personalities. I'm left with one-dimensional husks of people with stereotypical labels like "The Jock" or "The Nerd" or "The Slut". I hate making characters who are shallow like that, and I hate playing them. But I play as them almost every day because some girl has a fight with her parents, or some guy is trying to cut himself because the girl he liked turned him down, and I cannot say no to those people. I don't think I even know how to say no. It's a word I have to practice saying. I can't always say "yes" when asked if I'm alright.
Things will be different now, I promise! No more being stomped on and dragged around to do things I don't wanna. There will no longer be any breakdowns like this. I'm going to cultivate a pair of steel balls and tell people how I really feel when they make me do things I don't feel like doing.
![[Image: self_centered_coyote_by_kerol-d2zmoca.png]](http://i1223.photobucket.com/albums/dd505/Frisky_E_Coyote/Frisk%20Me/self_centered_coyote_by_kerol-d2zmoca.png)
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
