07-27-2006, 03:18 AM
Certainly, this goes very well as a Rape fic, and now that I think of it...
You were right, Guilmon has that ''wild'' state in which he growls and follows his own instincts instead of hearing Takato, so it would be a perfect excuse for his behaviour towards Renamon.
I noticed Ruki was acting TOO strict and heartless, too much even for her Tamers' attitude, but it had to happen eventually, there are many things we don't know about her training.
Guilmon calling Takato: "Takatomon." was actually a suggestion, not a correction, it makes him sound dumber/cuter.
Renamon was totally OOC, but it did flow correctly according to the story, but as it's almost a short one leading to a plothole, then it's not an attitude with too many arguments to actually set her as ''weak'' against this horny lizard.
And yes, you are right yourself, this doesn't suck, but it could use work. Even now, when unedited, it's quite a good piece of work to read nevertheless.
You were right, Guilmon has that ''wild'' state in which he growls and follows his own instincts instead of hearing Takato, so it would be a perfect excuse for his behaviour towards Renamon.
I noticed Ruki was acting TOO strict and heartless, too much even for her Tamers' attitude, but it had to happen eventually, there are many things we don't know about her training.
Guilmon calling Takato: "Takatomon." was actually a suggestion, not a correction, it makes him sound dumber/cuter.
Renamon was totally OOC, but it did flow correctly according to the story, but as it's almost a short one leading to a plothole, then it's not an attitude with too many arguments to actually set her as ''weak'' against this horny lizard.
And yes, you are right yourself, this doesn't suck, but it could use work. Even now, when unedited, it's quite a good piece of work to read nevertheless.
![[Image: FearthatPlushy.jpg]](http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c40/BlackSpyromv_33/FearthatPlushy.jpg)
