07-27-2006, 02:00 AM
"Load This!" is an admittedly different take on the relationship between Renamon and Ruki... more of an AU than something that would have happened in the series. It was meant to be a short lemon, and at under 2000 words, I feel it is one, and shows the points of characterization I wanted to make in contrast to the series, as you pointed out.
Characters:
Renamon was supposed to be subscriptive to Ruki's way of thinking -- that she, as a Digimon, existed only for fighting, and that Ruki as her Tamer was in absolute control over her, and free to do with her anything she saw fit. Renamon's internal monologue shows some conflict, but her actions show an acceptance, presumably forced, of this belief.
Ruki was meant to be colder than in the show, an exaggeration of who she was at the beginning of the dub. Her primary focus is on strength and discipline for failure to show the same. I attempted to keep her lines in flow with the series even if the particular lines would be out of place in it.
Guilmon was meant to emphasize the difference between his innocent side, which he shows more and more frequently throughout the series, and his vicious "battle" side, which tended to fade throughout the series. As an encounter towards the beginning, I felt it suitable to emphasize him showing this side of his personality while fighting. Also, the "Takatomon" thing was short-lived in both the dub and original, as Guilmon grew in his vocabulary quickly, and the extension of it is primarily a fanon issue. Myself, when I use it it's in a light-hearted way, with Guilmon is with Takato.
As for being a perv... there are three points of view in this story, one for each character. I wrote this from their subjective viewpoints. So, Ruki saw Guilmon doing something she couldn't clearly see to Renamon, and has her own image of how all males behave, and so concludes that he is a pervert. That coupled with her feelings at Takato's hands (seen in the flashback to the fight), leaves her upset at both Takato and his Digimon, and at Renamon for being shown up by them.
Renamon's point of view is one of submission to Ruki as a living tool for fighting. She has feelings, but she attempts to hide and ignore them for Ruki's sake, and attempts to live her life to please Ruki -- not so that she herself will be happy, but so that Ruki will be happy. But her doubts are always trying to push through, as she knows better. Fighting may be life, but she knows Digimon are more than mere fighters.
And Guilmon... He's in his battle personality at the time we see through his eyes. He has enough of an idea that if what he's doing is hurting his enemy in an obvious way (such as making her weep in greater quantities), he should continue doing it. And he also knows what feels good as he begins raping her. However, at no point did he consider his actions to be self gratifying sexual acts -- they were simply a way to bring his enemy into submission, which he could see they were doing successfully.
It's similar to a child masturbating for the first time -- they don't need to know what's going to come out to know that it feels good. I mean, I know I didn't, but I knew touching it felt good. Safe to assume Guilmon, like a child, might just reach the same conclusion, even if he weren't in his more primal state of mind at that time. In fact, it seems to me that doing something that feels good with no idea of what will come of it is perhaps the MOST childish way to portray someone who is having sex.
I do appreciate your scores, and realize that, compared to the series as a whole, Renamon and Guilmon do feel very out of character. I just want it to be understood that the portrayals I was seeking in this story are not meant to be wholly in character. I probably wouldn't have been too much more generous with the scores myself, as this story dates to Feb. 2003 and is one of my earlier works. This one isn't even long enough for one of my contests, at approximately 3.3 full pages in 12pt Times New Roman
Plot: Thank you for some honesty. This particular score I feel may be a bit generous based on your later comment about the flow and progression of the story, but if you feel this way, I won't argue it.
Character: See above. I probably would have been most lenient on this score as I understood my intentions in how I was painting the characters, and though imperfect (because I failed to justify these differences fully) I would probably have given it, myself, in the 12-16 range.
Lemon: Admittedly a weak point in the flow of the story. The concept was a Renamon rapefic -- and just as Digi-Slutz began as a personal challenge, so did this. The challenge: "How can I portray Guilmon raping Renamon?" The answer... "Load This!" As a lemon, one great flaw in this scene is that it is one-sided, in the primary POV of the story, which is in this case, that of a rape victim. It might have been better were Guilmon actually more mature, or were the scene from his POV. I might have given another point or two, but I doubt I would give it more than a 7 unless I had some unhealthy interest in rape...
Semantics: Thank you for your kind words. I like to twist and turn clich
Characters:
Renamon was supposed to be subscriptive to Ruki's way of thinking -- that she, as a Digimon, existed only for fighting, and that Ruki as her Tamer was in absolute control over her, and free to do with her anything she saw fit. Renamon's internal monologue shows some conflict, but her actions show an acceptance, presumably forced, of this belief.
Ruki was meant to be colder than in the show, an exaggeration of who she was at the beginning of the dub. Her primary focus is on strength and discipline for failure to show the same. I attempted to keep her lines in flow with the series even if the particular lines would be out of place in it.
Guilmon was meant to emphasize the difference between his innocent side, which he shows more and more frequently throughout the series, and his vicious "battle" side, which tended to fade throughout the series. As an encounter towards the beginning, I felt it suitable to emphasize him showing this side of his personality while fighting. Also, the "Takatomon" thing was short-lived in both the dub and original, as Guilmon grew in his vocabulary quickly, and the extension of it is primarily a fanon issue. Myself, when I use it it's in a light-hearted way, with Guilmon is with Takato.
As for being a perv... there are three points of view in this story, one for each character. I wrote this from their subjective viewpoints. So, Ruki saw Guilmon doing something she couldn't clearly see to Renamon, and has her own image of how all males behave, and so concludes that he is a pervert. That coupled with her feelings at Takato's hands (seen in the flashback to the fight), leaves her upset at both Takato and his Digimon, and at Renamon for being shown up by them.
Renamon's point of view is one of submission to Ruki as a living tool for fighting. She has feelings, but she attempts to hide and ignore them for Ruki's sake, and attempts to live her life to please Ruki -- not so that she herself will be happy, but so that Ruki will be happy. But her doubts are always trying to push through, as she knows better. Fighting may be life, but she knows Digimon are more than mere fighters.
And Guilmon... He's in his battle personality at the time we see through his eyes. He has enough of an idea that if what he's doing is hurting his enemy in an obvious way (such as making her weep in greater quantities), he should continue doing it. And he also knows what feels good as he begins raping her. However, at no point did he consider his actions to be self gratifying sexual acts -- they were simply a way to bring his enemy into submission, which he could see they were doing successfully.
It's similar to a child masturbating for the first time -- they don't need to know what's going to come out to know that it feels good. I mean, I know I didn't, but I knew touching it felt good. Safe to assume Guilmon, like a child, might just reach the same conclusion, even if he weren't in his more primal state of mind at that time. In fact, it seems to me that doing something that feels good with no idea of what will come of it is perhaps the MOST childish way to portray someone who is having sex.
I do appreciate your scores, and realize that, compared to the series as a whole, Renamon and Guilmon do feel very out of character. I just want it to be understood that the portrayals I was seeking in this story are not meant to be wholly in character. I probably wouldn't have been too much more generous with the scores myself, as this story dates to Feb. 2003 and is one of my earlier works. This one isn't even long enough for one of my contests, at approximately 3.3 full pages in 12pt Times New Roman
Plot: Thank you for some honesty. This particular score I feel may be a bit generous based on your later comment about the flow and progression of the story, but if you feel this way, I won't argue it.
Character: See above. I probably would have been most lenient on this score as I understood my intentions in how I was painting the characters, and though imperfect (because I failed to justify these differences fully) I would probably have given it, myself, in the 12-16 range.
Lemon: Admittedly a weak point in the flow of the story. The concept was a Renamon rapefic -- and just as Digi-Slutz began as a personal challenge, so did this. The challenge: "How can I portray Guilmon raping Renamon?" The answer... "Load This!" As a lemon, one great flaw in this scene is that it is one-sided, in the primary POV of the story, which is in this case, that of a rape victim. It might have been better were Guilmon actually more mature, or were the scene from his POV. I might have given another point or two, but I doubt I would give it more than a 7 unless I had some unhealthy interest in rape...
Semantics: Thank you for your kind words. I like to twist and turn clich