07-26-2006, 04:57 PM
Come on! Take your chance and burn me! I won't take it personally, my oldies suck... why just take a look at this one:
Nate Hunter's "Sexy Angel of Light"
Reviewed by Nate Hunter - 4 years later.
Comments as the author are in parentheses, comments as reviewer are not.
Plot: 1/20
Ostensibly this flows from a series, however to a reader not versed in the series (which admittedly is not available up to the point from which this story stems), this seems like an obvious set-up (and it is). The plot is that these two kids have sex with their Digimon. Yep, that's about it.
Character: 0/20
Honestly, if I could score this negative, I would. Here's the basic summary of character in this fic --
Genki - horny boy seeing hot woman
Kenmon>Angewomon - male, turned horny woman, seeing moderately attractive boy
Ben - horny GAY boy, potentially a danger-phile
Judamon - turns gay for his partner
Seriously, there's no significant characterization and no obvious redeeming qualities.
Semantics: 17/20
Seriously one of the few non-sucky points in this story. Generally speaking, Hunter demonstrated a good grasp of English and fundamental writing skills with this fic. Punctuation is fairly accurate and paints (an accurate, to me) a picture of what the characters are saying. Fanbrat japanese makes me wince, and glad it's only one line.
Quality: 8/20
The writing is mediocre at best, while the scenes are far too short to engage a serious reader -- though perhaps some of them could stand alone as "flash fiction". The point of view seems to change too often even within the scenes as well, which destracts from what immersion there is.
Lemon Scenes: 3/20 and 0/20, average 2/20
The first lemon scene doesn't even exist, but it should (Hey! I was anti-yaoi at the time, and had no desire to write it!) because it leaves the story hanging. At least it's half-justified by Pinocchimon's switching the channel...
The second is almost formulaic for a lemon or hentai, with the two supposed virgins being relative experts. Beyond that it's not engaging nor does it even feel appealing to me (at this point in time; back then it was totally hot to me).
Final score: 28/100
This story REALLY needs work.
(I'll admit it! It does... but that's all back-work, setting the characters up prior to this point so that they can behave in an in-character fashion during these events. Presumably if this is ever re-written, it will include the missing Ben/Judamon scene and will probably turn up the experience of the Angewomon/Genki scene a bit.)
Nate Hunter Wrote:Scoring Guidelines:
PLOT (1-20 points)
Plot design, overall creativity, unexpectedness, twists and turns, etc.
CHARACTER (1-20 points)
The ability to capture personality, so they're not all mindless automaton droids.
LEMON (1-20 points)
Need I explain this to you?
QUALITY (1-20 points)
Simply how well it is written, descriptions, lack of overdoing it, etc.
SEMANTICS (1-20 points)
Last but not least, a lemon can be good... if you can understand what the hell they're saying.
Nate Hunter's "Sexy Angel of Light"
Reviewed by Nate Hunter - 4 years later.
Comments as the author are in parentheses, comments as reviewer are not.
Plot: 1/20
Ostensibly this flows from a series, however to a reader not versed in the series (which admittedly is not available up to the point from which this story stems), this seems like an obvious set-up (and it is). The plot is that these two kids have sex with their Digimon. Yep, that's about it.
Character: 0/20
Honestly, if I could score this negative, I would. Here's the basic summary of character in this fic --
Genki - horny boy seeing hot woman
Kenmon>Angewomon - male, turned horny woman, seeing moderately attractive boy
Ben - horny GAY boy, potentially a danger-phile
Judamon - turns gay for his partner
Seriously, there's no significant characterization and no obvious redeeming qualities.
Semantics: 17/20
Seriously one of the few non-sucky points in this story. Generally speaking, Hunter demonstrated a good grasp of English and fundamental writing skills with this fic. Punctuation is fairly accurate and paints (an accurate, to me) a picture of what the characters are saying. Fanbrat japanese makes me wince, and glad it's only one line.
Quality: 8/20
The writing is mediocre at best, while the scenes are far too short to engage a serious reader -- though perhaps some of them could stand alone as "flash fiction". The point of view seems to change too often even within the scenes as well, which destracts from what immersion there is.
Lemon Scenes: 3/20 and 0/20, average 2/20
The first lemon scene doesn't even exist, but it should (Hey! I was anti-yaoi at the time, and had no desire to write it!) because it leaves the story hanging. At least it's half-justified by Pinocchimon's switching the channel...
The second is almost formulaic for a lemon or hentai, with the two supposed virgins being relative experts. Beyond that it's not engaging nor does it even feel appealing to me (at this point in time; back then it was totally hot to me).
Final score: 28/100
This story REALLY needs work.
(I'll admit it! It does... but that's all back-work, setting the characters up prior to this point so that they can behave in an in-character fashion during these events. Presumably if this is ever re-written, it will include the missing Ben/Judamon scene and will probably turn up the experience of the Angewomon/Genki scene a bit.)