Dawn Over A New World (Opening)

[Wisemon]

(a.k.a the Wisemon Syndrome),

If you want to get technical, the style is called omniscient narration. I'm aware that it's a turnoff for some people. I try to save all my urgency and emotion for the dialogue, where it counts. I do agree that there's a style difference between Nate's first few sentences and the ones that close the paragraph. I suggest a bit more consistency. Pick a style and stick with it, at least for the same paragraph.