07-24-2006, 10:43 AM
Welcome to the thread. Let's begin again. D.V. Eighty-Five. I chose to reveiw a single, and I was in the mood for yaoi. Unfortunatly, this means that I had to choose an incest fiction. Two Brothers. I'm just not an incest kind of guy, you see.
I like the disclaimer. I do like well written disclaimers. But the title isn't seperated from the main body of the story.
Okay, we're given the time. That's fine. We're given what's happened, okay. But the dialogue isn't in character. It's clipped and base. We aren't given any insight into how they're feeling except "I still feel so depressed," which is a line from TK. The issue here is that there's no narrative voice. The poor fellow's been taken and locked in a room with a man with lots of scarves and a flashy screwdriver.
However, he seems to have broken free to tell us that Matt wants to have sex with TK not out of the traditional TK Matt motivation of "brotherly love", but because he's a minor. There we are: any of the children you saw Matt with in the series two epilogue, if you use D.V. Eighty-Five's character development from this story, have all been molestered and abused. For some, strange reason, that just doesn't gel with me.
Oh, great. Matt goes shopping. This bares no relivance to the story, but it does show that Matt is loaded. Really, a Playstation 2 (were those even around in 1999/2000?), some games and clothes? Lucky boy.
"It's now or never". I've just gotten to the part that's going make me feelk rather ill, I daresay.
"Sight", not "site".
Well, he's got Matt's feelings displayed before the reader, but weather the reader likes it or not is another story.
And a sleep fetish is included as well.
He's got TK's feelings as well.
Neither have properly manifested sensations.
Very brief sex scene. Not that I'm complaining.
I'm so glad clear thinking is getting through to Matt. Maybe there's hope for the epilogue, yet.
...Nope, never mind. And Gabumon's that sort of a guy, as well. Brillient, TK'll be so screwed up (further) after all this.
There's explaination as to "why it's okay!" as opposed to any actual discription. Bad sex scene, bad.
Strange ending. I rather like the TK and Kari thing happening (it's just a good narrative device), but Matt and Sora have a poor admittance to their feelings.
Someone free that poor narrator, before he starts thinking that it's "quartner past naught o'clock".
I like the disclaimer. I do like well written disclaimers. But the title isn't seperated from the main body of the story.
Okay, we're given the time. That's fine. We're given what's happened, okay. But the dialogue isn't in character. It's clipped and base. We aren't given any insight into how they're feeling except "I still feel so depressed," which is a line from TK. The issue here is that there's no narrative voice. The poor fellow's been taken and locked in a room with a man with lots of scarves and a flashy screwdriver.
However, he seems to have broken free to tell us that Matt wants to have sex with TK not out of the traditional TK Matt motivation of "brotherly love", but because he's a minor. There we are: any of the children you saw Matt with in the series two epilogue, if you use D.V. Eighty-Five's character development from this story, have all been molestered and abused. For some, strange reason, that just doesn't gel with me.
Oh, great. Matt goes shopping. This bares no relivance to the story, but it does show that Matt is loaded. Really, a Playstation 2 (were those even around in 1999/2000?), some games and clothes? Lucky boy.
"It's now or never". I've just gotten to the part that's going make me feelk rather ill, I daresay.
"Sight", not "site".
Well, he's got Matt's feelings displayed before the reader, but weather the reader likes it or not is another story.
And a sleep fetish is included as well.
He's got TK's feelings as well.
Neither have properly manifested sensations.
Very brief sex scene. Not that I'm complaining.
I'm so glad clear thinking is getting through to Matt. Maybe there's hope for the epilogue, yet.
...Nope, never mind. And Gabumon's that sort of a guy, as well. Brillient, TK'll be so screwed up (further) after all this.
There's explaination as to "why it's okay!" as opposed to any actual discription. Bad sex scene, bad.
Strange ending. I rather like the TK and Kari thing happening (it's just a good narrative device), but Matt and Sora have a poor admittance to their feelings.
Someone free that poor narrator, before he starts thinking that it's "quartner past naught o'clock".