07-20-2006, 08:48 PM
Wisemon Wrote:Quote:--> Writing: I like the 'Disclaimer' as you being narrated and all, however, if that is not your intent throughout the story, try to keep your comments to yourself and let the reader decide. Anything beyond the disclaimer has to be strictly story...I would ignore this criticism. That's part of your distinctive postmodernist style.
It is, but it's good to hear the opinions of more traditionalist stylists, sometimes. Just in case I'm not being radical enough.
Marine Wrote:-Something feels a bit off between these two paragraph openings. I'm not saying his style is bad or should be changed, it just sounds out of place to me. And on a side note, most of your stories imitate the unique disclaimer and then story. It's just that this one pecked my attention.
The running line of "Are you sitting comfortably?" is used to drag the reader out of the story, slap them, and remind them gently (after getting some ice) that the reality is that the reader is reading a story. It's actually a blatent refrence, as well, to anyone in Britain who listened to children's radio in the 1950s, and, more recently (though entirely unintentionally: it appeared after I wrote and submitted this) the episode "The Idiots Lantern" of the second series of Doctor Who. It's a bit of a parody, actually.