07-20-2006, 11:34 AM
Alright, in this review, I'll try to DIRECTLY point the errors, this one is for the 3rd chapter.
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Tense problem, you switched to Present Simple suddenly.
[quote]"So
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Quote:Veedramon could not help but feel sorry for Patamon. The Sun seemingly affects the Digimon genes somehow. This usually stopped a Digimon from gaining a digivolution, not to mention the fact that they were much more vulnerable to the radiation than a regular Digimon.
Tense problem, you switched to Present Simple suddenly.
[quote]"So