Better Late than Never: The June 2006 Lemon Contest

[Crimson Fox]

Congrats Wisemon, it was fun going up against you and DV85. I can't wait to read your story, seems like it will be a good read.

I wished there would have been more competition, but hey can't have everything you want. I look forward to the next contest, I'm definately going to back. Oh yeah, thanks to the judges for all the work you did, I can't wait to read your comments and scores.

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A few comments about my story "May I Have This Dance":

Just for the record, I suck at writing titles, but that's not really the focus now is it?

Though the plot is just a set-up for the "knight in shining armor" routine, it is executed smoothly and quickly. If there were any hentai Digimon episodes, this would probably feel just like one of those. The plot isn't great, but it's solid enough to work well. And it is a bit different from the usual sex-fests we see, so that's good.

Yup, I was going for Digimon Hentai Episode and I try to stray away from making my stories straight up sex fests, PWPs are not really stories in my eyes.

Davis and Veemon are fairly spot on to their North American dub personalities and dialects, which is good. Renamon is an original characer, not the Renamon from Tamers, which I find to be a positive point (applying Renamon in the Adventure world is a bit of a plus in my book anyway, but that's got little to do with this score) since there's no crossover judgment about how she got there. Also positive, Lord Bakemon has a distinctive personality. Somehow reminds me of Oogie Boogie in the KH games (I haven't seen Nightmare Before Christmas, so I can't judge from that source). Worthy of a good score.

I scored as I thought I would, the lemon and characterization ones were the highest and those were the two things Sonimon always commented on during the old scales he gave. Those are indeed the two things I put the most effort into with every story I write.

Yep, this Renamon was supposed to original, maybe I should've put in an author's note, but I felt you and the judges would be able to figure it out and you all did so there's no problem.

LordBakemon = Oogie Boogie, uh uh I don't know what you're talking about. *whistles while trying to act nonchalant*

Generally quite good, but a few points can detract where wording seems a bit awkward, whether it be a typo or just a wrong word. This particular flaw shows up in this story. Also, as much as I hate to judge semantics on a debatable issue, this also is a point I dislike budging from my own stance on -- mon/womon for Digimon gender are not, to my mind, acceptable, even though to many authors they are.

Yeah, semantics sometimes turns against me even after a proofread. I'm trying to improve as always though. And as a sidenote, with my latest story that I published, I stopped doing the mon/womon thing, but I felt it worked here since I was going for "hentai episode of Digimon".

Of all the times... I curse being biased towards Renamon/Fladramon -- as well s a furry -- right now, as it will probably show in some bias on this score. It is well written and damn if it isn't good for a furry sex scene... Colorful and engaging, this is one of the better lemons I've read in a while. While even I'm losing my taste for writing such explicit stuff, this is almost inspiring to me for a future story I've got vaguely planned. Also, the fact that this was not just fucking, but actually making love is an excellent positive to this story. Too often the thought of making love is just any time people have sex, and though that may be all the slang means, the words speak deeper than that.

Note to author: Orgasmic fluids soak into sheets and become almost invisible under normal light. Yes, even blue sheets. Experience speaking here, since we gotta wank somewhere...

Ah, a fellow Flamedramon/Renamon fan and furry, yep I put a lot of effort into the lemons but try to make it romantic so it doesn't read off as just mere porn. Glad I inspired you a little and thanks for the tip, I probably exaggerated a little with the stained white thing, but whatever.

This is certainly a far better read than DV85's "The Break Up". However, semantic and plot issues weaken the story as a whole slightly, but it's still a good solid read. I strongly recommend it for any furries or Renamon fans here.

Glad you liked the story Nate, though I make mistakes I always try for a good overall story that most can enjoy (most that are into furries and hentai anyways XD ). I'll work to keep improving for your next contest, I'm already excited and eager to write.

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