07-19-2006, 02:22 PM
Marine: Haha, your review made me smile, particularly at the Wisemon syndrome and the setting!
Syndrome: Yeah, I was told once to paint a picture with words. Sometimes I'm good at it, other times I'm not so good at it. It's something I'm working on. I'm not sure, because when I write I just kind of put down what's in my head at the moment and then make sure it fits, but I think I usually just think of something and then try to describe it (which explains the extra sentence you mentioned).
Setting: I didn't put one in for the cabin in this chapter because I'd already done it in the first.
Actually... No, I didn't put in a setting in for the cabin... yikes....
I tried to do one for Ex's hideout, but somehow I just couldn't get my wording the way I wanted it to be. I had to go back and keep tweaking it and reading it aloud until it seemed good enough. I think that right now, settings are what I have the most trouble with.
DMX: Awesome, you bet!
Note: I'm aware that Flamedramon doesn't act like he's very courageous so far-- but there's an explanation for that outside of this chapter. Greymon had hit him on the head in a way that made him forget a few things and changed his personality a bit. Flamedramon's under Greymon's spell, so to speak. lol It has nothing to do with being cute.
I wouldn't call the series "The Fire of Courage" for nothing, though!
As for Gabumon, I had him appear very scarecly due to the fact that that's how he was actually trying to appear in the story. However I had hoped that a reader would still feel his presence, and attempted to provide aid with that by adding things like "Neither of them heard the _______ that came from just outside the cave", and then trying to make it more clear to the reader that Gabumon had been there by having Ex see evidence of his presence. In short, I wanted the reader to feel like Gabumon was watching without actually saying that he was watching. I don't know if I succeeded, but... ehh. I'll edit it another time, maybe after part 5--I've got ideas for it swimming in my head along with whatever else is in there.
Hmm.... Yes, now that you mention it, Ex is behaving pretty mysteriously, and I didn't do that great a job of explaining it in the earlier chapter. The reason he's like that is because Flamedramon's putting up a very, VERY strong defense for Greymon. Ex knows that Greymon's bad news, and he wants to protect Flamedramon, but at the same time doesn't want to upset him, like he inadvertently did in this chapter. He stays out of everyone's sight, especially Greymon's, while still making sure that Flamedramon can reach him if there's ever trouble.
As for Greymon... Wow. That's it. He's a sick dude. The only time I've ever attempted something like that before now is in the Stolen series with Arkadimon and at last few chapters of Lost in the Woods. That... didn't turn out as well as I had hoped it would. I'm glad it was better this time!
Thanks!
Syndrome: Yeah, I was told once to paint a picture with words. Sometimes I'm good at it, other times I'm not so good at it. It's something I'm working on. I'm not sure, because when I write I just kind of put down what's in my head at the moment and then make sure it fits, but I think I usually just think of something and then try to describe it (which explains the extra sentence you mentioned).
Setting: I didn't put one in for the cabin in this chapter because I'd already done it in the first.
Actually... No, I didn't put in a setting in for the cabin... yikes....
I tried to do one for Ex's hideout, but somehow I just couldn't get my wording the way I wanted it to be. I had to go back and keep tweaking it and reading it aloud until it seemed good enough. I think that right now, settings are what I have the most trouble with.
DMX: Awesome, you bet!
Note: I'm aware that Flamedramon doesn't act like he's very courageous so far-- but there's an explanation for that outside of this chapter. Greymon had hit him on the head in a way that made him forget a few things and changed his personality a bit. Flamedramon's under Greymon's spell, so to speak. lol It has nothing to do with being cute.
I wouldn't call the series "The Fire of Courage" for nothing, though!
As for Gabumon, I had him appear very scarecly due to the fact that that's how he was actually trying to appear in the story. However I had hoped that a reader would still feel his presence, and attempted to provide aid with that by adding things like "Neither of them heard the _______ that came from just outside the cave", and then trying to make it more clear to the reader that Gabumon had been there by having Ex see evidence of his presence. In short, I wanted the reader to feel like Gabumon was watching without actually saying that he was watching. I don't know if I succeeded, but... ehh. I'll edit it another time, maybe after part 5--I've got ideas for it swimming in my head along with whatever else is in there.
Hmm.... Yes, now that you mention it, Ex is behaving pretty mysteriously, and I didn't do that great a job of explaining it in the earlier chapter. The reason he's like that is because Flamedramon's putting up a very, VERY strong defense for Greymon. Ex knows that Greymon's bad news, and he wants to protect Flamedramon, but at the same time doesn't want to upset him, like he inadvertently did in this chapter. He stays out of everyone's sight, especially Greymon's, while still making sure that Flamedramon can reach him if there's ever trouble.
As for Greymon... Wow. That's it. He's a sick dude. The only time I've ever attempted something like that before now is in the Stolen series with Arkadimon and at last few chapters of Lost in the Woods. That... didn't turn out as well as I had hoped it would. I'm glad it was better this time!
Thanks!