06-08-2006, 07:20 PM
Gun: Hmmm... awkward moment that DOESN'T involve my lovable, sweet, big brother Velmont... (we had a truce, he'd be nice to me if I shut up about his love life)
This was when I first decided to get a dog: I got up early so I can reach town by 12, I found a pound, so I went inside.
Gun: Hello? Is anyone here?
A girl who was trying to feed an aggresive Rottie scampered to me. "Oh hi- sorry- do you need any- hey- aren't you that- Ganter Vector guy- or whatever his name is-
Gun: Uhm.. yes. I'm sorry... I know where this is going, I'll leave.
She stopped me "No- I'm okay with that-"
It felt great hearing that- I felt high. "That's great- thank you so very very MUCH- I wanted a companion s'all, can you show me some?"
so she took me around, showing several dogs and several cats, eventually she reached the growling and barking rottie. "I'm afraid he's too vicious, maybe another one?"
I asked what would happen if nobody bought him, she said they would put him to sleep. suddenly- the chain that held him broke, and she screamed cuz we were in the cage. The rottie tackled me- he was heavy- so I lost my balance, I tried to get up on all fours, I could hear her yelling "Bad Varis! back!!".
The next thing I knew- I was thrown forward, and "Varis", was furiously humping me, which was VERY awkward- it was embarassing.
"I'm SO SORRY- He never did that before!" She apologized. I just said I'd take him, and that was that. He was one of the dogs I took in, and one of the first to get new homes. But the day Varis humiliated me in front of the girl in the pound, never left my memory.
Me: One that has nothing to do with Velmont...
I was in Dubai, visiting a very good friend of mine. He was a Judo/Karate/Jujitsu instructor, and I had a sit in as he teached his class.
Hazan: Okay, that's good for today- I want you all to meet my friend, Raynard. He flew all the way from Romania, so his arms must be tired.
Me: How many times must I tell you- I'm not a vampire.
Hazan: It was a joke, my friend! Would you be so kind as to volunteer for my next demonstration?
Me: Of course, just tell me what to do.
I went forward in front of his students, there were only twenty three that day, so it was spacious. We bowed.
Hazan: Listen- the importance of Karate, Judo and Jujitsu- is for self deffence and self deffence ONLY. Ray here, may not be very good at any of that, are you not, Ray?
Me: True, I'm mediocre, I have no style.
Hazan: I am going to show you all why it is all important to know at least one style, it's easy to beat someone with no particular style at all.
*a student raises his had* "What can Sir Raynard do then?"
Hazan: Fine question! My friend will attack me, holding nothing back, and I will take him down. Don't hold back, okay? Try to get me to the ground.
Me: Okay.
*Another student raises his hand* "Are you really from Romania? Do they what do they call you there?"
Me: Yes, it's very cold there at this kind time of month. They call me many things, but my favorite is Blitz.
*another student raises her hand*: You mean like in tyhe Road Rovers?
*students laugh*
Hazan: Enough with the petty questions, I will use Rokyu- remember, in Rokyu- Nage Waza, Ukemi Waza, Atemi Waza, Gatame Waza, Kansestsu Waza, and one minute- self-deffense Kata-
Students: SIR.
Hazan: Raynard, BEGIN!
Hazan stood casually, pretending to to mind his own business. I used a simple right hook, he planned to show some "pride" by dodging back- but as soon as the right hook didn't connect- I thrusted forward, and hit him with the back of my palm, then withrew. I think I hurt him bad, because he was bleeding.
Me: Are you okay?
Hazan: I am fine- I was holding back- Serious now!
He performed several Jujitsu and what I think was Kobojutsu. He was Good at Shotokan Ryu as well... Unfortunately, he was always o.6 or o.34 Seconds too slow, resulting in me reversing, dodging, blocking, or making a counter. Eventually I flicked him on the nose, side reversed to his back- and aplied pressure to the fifth vertabrae, Resulting in him losing almost all of his "Chi", and placed him in Zazen position. He came to.
Hazan: What just happened- you were right there- then suddenly I was out cold-
*student* I blinked and missed it-
Hazan: Uh- STUDENTS- Blitz is a- un... Shintanuki (He made up the style style to escape humiliation) Master, it is a form of Tai Chi Chuan- and- uhm- MIX. That is all for today.
It was awkward, he lost fifteen students that day, they actually thought I was using "True Racoon/Perverted" Style. I had to explain that it was all random moves from around the world.
This was when I first decided to get a dog: I got up early so I can reach town by 12, I found a pound, so I went inside.
Gun: Hello? Is anyone here?
A girl who was trying to feed an aggresive Rottie scampered to me. "Oh hi- sorry- do you need any- hey- aren't you that- Ganter Vector guy- or whatever his name is-
Gun: Uhm.. yes. I'm sorry... I know where this is going, I'll leave.
She stopped me "No- I'm okay with that-"
It felt great hearing that- I felt high. "That's great- thank you so very very MUCH- I wanted a companion s'all, can you show me some?"
so she took me around, showing several dogs and several cats, eventually she reached the growling and barking rottie. "I'm afraid he's too vicious, maybe another one?"
I asked what would happen if nobody bought him, she said they would put him to sleep. suddenly- the chain that held him broke, and she screamed cuz we were in the cage. The rottie tackled me- he was heavy- so I lost my balance, I tried to get up on all fours, I could hear her yelling "Bad Varis! back!!".
The next thing I knew- I was thrown forward, and "Varis", was furiously humping me, which was VERY awkward- it was embarassing.
"I'm SO SORRY- He never did that before!" She apologized. I just said I'd take him, and that was that. He was one of the dogs I took in, and one of the first to get new homes. But the day Varis humiliated me in front of the girl in the pound, never left my memory.
Me: One that has nothing to do with Velmont...
I was in Dubai, visiting a very good friend of mine. He was a Judo/Karate/Jujitsu instructor, and I had a sit in as he teached his class.
Hazan: Okay, that's good for today- I want you all to meet my friend, Raynard. He flew all the way from Romania, so his arms must be tired.
Me: How many times must I tell you- I'm not a vampire.
Hazan: It was a joke, my friend! Would you be so kind as to volunteer for my next demonstration?
Me: Of course, just tell me what to do.
I went forward in front of his students, there were only twenty three that day, so it was spacious. We bowed.
Hazan: Listen- the importance of Karate, Judo and Jujitsu- is for self deffence and self deffence ONLY. Ray here, may not be very good at any of that, are you not, Ray?
Me: True, I'm mediocre, I have no style.
Hazan: I am going to show you all why it is all important to know at least one style, it's easy to beat someone with no particular style at all.
*a student raises his had* "What can Sir Raynard do then?"
Hazan: Fine question! My friend will attack me, holding nothing back, and I will take him down. Don't hold back, okay? Try to get me to the ground.
Me: Okay.
*Another student raises his hand* "Are you really from Romania? Do they what do they call you there?"
Me: Yes, it's very cold there at this kind time of month. They call me many things, but my favorite is Blitz.
*another student raises her hand*: You mean like in tyhe Road Rovers?
*students laugh*
Hazan: Enough with the petty questions, I will use Rokyu- remember, in Rokyu- Nage Waza, Ukemi Waza, Atemi Waza, Gatame Waza, Kansestsu Waza, and one minute- self-deffense Kata-
Students: SIR.
Hazan: Raynard, BEGIN!
Hazan stood casually, pretending to to mind his own business. I used a simple right hook, he planned to show some "pride" by dodging back- but as soon as the right hook didn't connect- I thrusted forward, and hit him with the back of my palm, then withrew. I think I hurt him bad, because he was bleeding.
Me: Are you okay?
Hazan: I am fine- I was holding back- Serious now!
He performed several Jujitsu and what I think was Kobojutsu. He was Good at Shotokan Ryu as well... Unfortunately, he was always o.6 or o.34 Seconds too slow, resulting in me reversing, dodging, blocking, or making a counter. Eventually I flicked him on the nose, side reversed to his back- and aplied pressure to the fifth vertabrae, Resulting in him losing almost all of his "Chi", and placed him in Zazen position. He came to.
Hazan: What just happened- you were right there- then suddenly I was out cold-
*student* I blinked and missed it-
Hazan: Uh- STUDENTS- Blitz is a- un... Shintanuki (He made up the style style to escape humiliation) Master, it is a form of Tai Chi Chuan- and- uhm- MIX. That is all for today.
It was awkward, he lost fifteen students that day, they actually thought I was using "True Racoon/Perverted" Style. I had to explain that it was all random moves from around the world.