03-09-2003, 12:28 PM
I really enjoyed reading your lemon. I have a few suggestions that you might consider adding next time.
1. Place a little more desription on the lemon scene. (i.e not, "she sucked him off", instead you could be a little more descriptive, like "She placed the end of her muzzle over the head of his length, her tongue lapping over it gentl)y. This might make it a little longer, but in the end, readers will enjoy it a little more. (At least I would...)
2. Emphasis on #1 (actually, that is the only thing I see wrong.)
3. Keep up the good work, lemon writing gets easier the more you do it.
1. Place a little more desription on the lemon scene. (i.e not, "she sucked him off", instead you could be a little more descriptive, like "She placed the end of her muzzle over the head of his length, her tongue lapping over it gentl)y. This might make it a little longer, but in the end, readers will enjoy it a little more. (At least I would...)
2. Emphasis on #1 (actually, that is the only thing I see wrong.)
3. Keep up the good work, lemon writing gets easier the more you do it.