03-09-2003, 12:18 PM
Now lemme see...
Okay, the lemon is kinda short and includes scat. That's about all I could really notice on the "not so great" side (I'm not really a scat fan and enjoy plot development, so others might argue there).
On the "nice" side: It's quite well-written in my opinion, and the lemon scene is short, but nicely done. Shows Takato's mixed feelings during the entire process. ^^
Okay, I admit that you hit the "Out-of-Character" button rather deftly sometimes, with Renamon switching between her usual reserved self and the lustful vixen. I don't add this to the "not so great" list because you explained it well in the end (and because I enjoyed her teasing and toying!!! :D).
Overall:
If this is (one of) your first lemon(s), then I'd say you've done a very nice job. I bet fans of scat greatly enjoyed your work, but you also kept the balance between "normal" sex and scat. ^_^
You really brought your potential to the right place! :D
Enjoy your stay, write more, and send your lemon to Togashi ^^
Side note: I noticed the "Part 1" in the title... who will be in Part 2? ^_^
Okay, the lemon is kinda short and includes scat. That's about all I could really notice on the "not so great" side (I'm not really a scat fan and enjoy plot development, so others might argue there).
On the "nice" side: It's quite well-written in my opinion, and the lemon scene is short, but nicely done. Shows Takato's mixed feelings during the entire process. ^^
Okay, I admit that you hit the "Out-of-Character" button rather deftly sometimes, with Renamon switching between her usual reserved self and the lustful vixen. I don't add this to the "not so great" list because you explained it well in the end (and because I enjoyed her teasing and toying!!! :D).
Overall:
If this is (one of) your first lemon(s), then I'd say you've done a very nice job. I bet fans of scat greatly enjoyed your work, but you also kept the balance between "normal" sex and scat. ^_^
You really brought your potential to the right place! :D
Enjoy your stay, write more, and send your lemon to Togashi ^^
Side note: I noticed the "Part 1" in the title... who will be in Part 2? ^_^