Zephyr of Darkness Wrote:I was going to graduate this year. I still haven't. I should have done it years ago. I can't help it--I hate my career.
Sounds like you need to start looking for another line of work. If you hate your job, no matter how much money you make, you're still going to be miserable. I don't know what to tell you to do, but if you feel strongly enough about your career path right now so say you HATE it, then I think it may be time for a change.
Quote:I hoped I would have a boyfriend even if it was a long distance relationship. I forgot to say: a boyfriend that loved me. I thought it was unnecessary, but I didn't know. In any case, I'm alone as usual, I'm still a virgin and haven't even kissed a guy.
Those last two things seem like much bigger issues to you than they really are. Frankly, if someone is shallow enough to judge you on your virginity or other experiences, they're not really worth your time to begin with. I think it's commendable that you're waiting for a good person to come along to share yourself with, instead of just having a fling with someone.
Quote:Related to the first, I still live on little money. And things are geting more and more expensive around.
The only thing that has changed is that I have a paid work now. But I only work Tuesdays and Thursdays' mornings, and I get paid 9 pesos an hour (3 dollars) As you can imagine, I can't buy that manor I wanted with it. Plus I have a really crazed pace at work. It's fine cuz it's little time and keeps me in shape. But with any more time I'd become crazy.[/qupte]
This is a problem to which almost everyone, regardless of their career, can relate. There are few people in the world who actually LIKE their job, let alone LOVE it. There are always going to be people you can talk to about it, as long as you're willing to listen to their gripes on the same subject.
[qupte]I always have, too, a person that deludes me a little before my birthday. I've had it for the past 3 years.
It's not my place to prod for details, but if that's how it is, do you need to keep this person in your life?
Quote:In any case, I'm so depressed. It was 5 years ago, right in my birthday, when I tried to kill myself for the second time. I always told myself that things could get better with time...but....
I wonder if 10 years from now on, I'll still be complaining about the same things....
*big humongous, comforting hug*
Oh Zeph, that's so sad! I'm really sorry you're having such a rough go of it. Please don't try to kill yourself. It's so sad, early on in peoples' lives is when it's the hardest to keep going. Everyone who says that your teens or even 20's are the best years of their lives are only people who are super priviledged and never had to worry about anything.
You'll make it. Just from seeing you say what you say here, I KNOW that you're strong enough to pull through just about anything. Even if no one else does, I have faith in you. I know that's only a little solace, given that I don't even know you, but hopefully it'll be at least a little something to give you a glimmer of hope when you're feeling down.
Take care, okay?