01-31-2006, 04:13 PM
Well shit, I didn't intend to be full of rage later as I said, but I'm so pissed off that I feel like trying to eat a dinner plate. What's retarded is the aspects of my day that usually go horridly went swimmingly today, and my typically enjoyable evening was a nipple-twisting nightmare.
SWEET FUCK!
Okay, here's Thing 1 and Thing 2 of the evening:
Thing 1: My girlfriend and I have been watching 24 together for a while. I got her started on it with my box sets back in October, and since last January we've been watching episodes as they air. So last summer when my brother and I were watching them, my mother got involved in watching it and she liked it too, despite that it has just about everything in a story that she DOESN'T like. Last week, she was unspeakably rude to my girlfriend while we were watching it, a fact that embarrassed her and enraged me.
Cut to this evening, circa 3 hours ago.
I arrive home from rehearsal to find my mother sitting in my chair, and refused to leave...and then my girlfriend came, and it was awkard...and I can't really get into it anymore than that...because I really have to address the thing that's truly upsetting me.
THING 2
This aformentioned "best friend" is no longer a friend at all. Sever demotion to "acquaintance." We'll see how that ranking sticks, because we all know people are super pissed right after a confrontation.
Oh by the way, this was all in an online conversation.
Well somehow a conversation about him asking me what I thought of an arrangement turned into him asking me why I was crooked (about Thing 1), and I told him that it was cause my mother was an an obstacle to my overall and romantic happiness. And he said, "Oh, you wanted to have sex tonight in your house?" (Holy rudeness!)
To which I replied "Would you please drop the ridiculous notion that every action my girlfriend and I take is sexual in nature? Not only is it inacurrate, but it's rude in the extreme." (I was a bit snarky here)
To which he replied: "It seems like everything is rude to you. Like, all I ever see if you fucking crooked about something or complaining about something else. What's the deal man?"
Somewhat offended, I returned with: "Nevermind. I won't bother you with it any further if it's all I ever do. I'll just suck it up and move on." (admittedly a snarky response)
"Well, you're constantly all nicole now these days anyway soooo"
"Yes you're right, I see her SOOooooOOoooOOOo much, don't i?" (sarcasm, not the case)
"You seem to see her at least 2-3 nights a week."
"See in the strictest sense of the word in that light relfecting from her strikes my retina which is transferred to my brain and registers as an image." (okay I know I know, I'm giving a lot of attitude, but I was really mad already)
"hanging out is hanging out, man. It's the term"
"When she's doing work all the time? Man, I don't know where you get off making assumptions that I see her so much, because I REALLY don't. We have to schedule "us" time, because if we don't plan it, it doesn't happen."
"No worries. There'll be no more assumptions or comments bout you and your girlfriend anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want." (ouch)
At this point, I will fully admit that I started to cry. Okay, maybe I didn't always say the best things, but when someone you care about speaks to you that way, it really hits you. Hard.
With a quivering upper lip and tears rolling down my cheeks, I managed to type: "fine. All you've done since you came back from Japan is try to make me feel guilty about spending time with my girlfriend, and even when I spend NO time with her, that's not good enough." (there is a distinct ring of truth to this)
From this point it degenerated significantly. So now I'm without a best friend, and I must say I feel absolutely wretched. I feel hollow inside, like I have nothing inside of me. The only person in this world that I ever called my best friend I no longer call that. It's sad...I'm sad. There's nothing more I'd like to do right now than to collapse in someone's arms and cry for about a week. Then hibernate for a long time until everyone forgets about me.
What a terrible night.
SWEET FUCK!
Okay, here's Thing 1 and Thing 2 of the evening:
Thing 1: My girlfriend and I have been watching 24 together for a while. I got her started on it with my box sets back in October, and since last January we've been watching episodes as they air. So last summer when my brother and I were watching them, my mother got involved in watching it and she liked it too, despite that it has just about everything in a story that she DOESN'T like. Last week, she was unspeakably rude to my girlfriend while we were watching it, a fact that embarrassed her and enraged me.
Cut to this evening, circa 3 hours ago.
I arrive home from rehearsal to find my mother sitting in my chair, and refused to leave...and then my girlfriend came, and it was awkard...and I can't really get into it anymore than that...because I really have to address the thing that's truly upsetting me.
THING 2
This aformentioned "best friend" is no longer a friend at all. Sever demotion to "acquaintance." We'll see how that ranking sticks, because we all know people are super pissed right after a confrontation.
Oh by the way, this was all in an online conversation.
Well somehow a conversation about him asking me what I thought of an arrangement turned into him asking me why I was crooked (about Thing 1), and I told him that it was cause my mother was an an obstacle to my overall and romantic happiness. And he said, "Oh, you wanted to have sex tonight in your house?" (Holy rudeness!)
To which I replied "Would you please drop the ridiculous notion that every action my girlfriend and I take is sexual in nature? Not only is it inacurrate, but it's rude in the extreme." (I was a bit snarky here)
To which he replied: "It seems like everything is rude to you. Like, all I ever see if you fucking crooked about something or complaining about something else. What's the deal man?"
Somewhat offended, I returned with: "Nevermind. I won't bother you with it any further if it's all I ever do. I'll just suck it up and move on." (admittedly a snarky response)
"Well, you're constantly all nicole now these days anyway soooo"
"Yes you're right, I see her SOOooooOOoooOOOo much, don't i?" (sarcasm, not the case)
"You seem to see her at least 2-3 nights a week."
"See in the strictest sense of the word in that light relfecting from her strikes my retina which is transferred to my brain and registers as an image." (okay I know I know, I'm giving a lot of attitude, but I was really mad already)
"hanging out is hanging out, man. It's the term"
"When she's doing work all the time? Man, I don't know where you get off making assumptions that I see her so much, because I REALLY don't. We have to schedule "us" time, because if we don't plan it, it doesn't happen."
"No worries. There'll be no more assumptions or comments bout you and your girlfriend anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want." (ouch)
At this point, I will fully admit that I started to cry. Okay, maybe I didn't always say the best things, but when someone you care about speaks to you that way, it really hits you. Hard.
With a quivering upper lip and tears rolling down my cheeks, I managed to type: "fine. All you've done since you came back from Japan is try to make me feel guilty about spending time with my girlfriend, and even when I spend NO time with her, that's not good enough." (there is a distinct ring of truth to this)
From this point it degenerated significantly. So now I'm without a best friend, and I must say I feel absolutely wretched. I feel hollow inside, like I have nothing inside of me. The only person in this world that I ever called my best friend I no longer call that. It's sad...I'm sad. There's nothing more I'd like to do right now than to collapse in someone's arms and cry for about a week. Then hibernate for a long time until everyone forgets about me.
What a terrible night.