Sony and Microsoft might not have had a huge line-up of crap to show, but at least I didn't want to punch them in the throat every time they announced something.
I must say, that dead horse that Nintendo continues to beat every single year must be almost mush by now. Here are my responses to a few things in the Nintendo line-up:
Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword - Wow, Nintendo, you really pulled out all the stops for this. ANOTHER Zelda game. Oh, but now your sword follows the Wiimote and your nunchuck controls the shield. Woop-dee-freaking-doo.
Wii Party - It looks exactly like Mario Party only without Mario, and those games stopped being interesting 15 games ago even WITH Mario. Hopefully the game isn't online, or you'll end up playing mini-games with a bunch of Mii-Hitlers.
Mario Sports Mix - You can play Volleyball now! Yeah, that doesn't really interest me. No thanks.
Kirby's Epic Yarn - Eat shit and die, Nintendo. Kirby swallows enemies and copies their powers, THAT IS HIS DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC. That is what he did in the original NES game, that is what he did in the N64 game, that is what he did in Smash Brothers, that is what he did in the anime. Kirby isn't YARN, and the person who came up with that needs to be slapped. How hard could it be to make a classic 2.5D side-scroller? I don't see you making Donkey Kong into yarn, so why Kirby?
Donkey Kong Country - I'll admit that it could be pretty cool, but only because there hasn't been a decent Donkey Kong country for a while.
New Goldeneye - another year, another remake. "Okay, so GoldenEye was a pretty awesome game, but how could we make it better?" "How about we give it to another developer, put it on the Wii, and make the graphics look as shitty as they did on the N64?" "Perfect!" Seriously, the graphics in that demo looked AWFUL. I look forward to see how they can screw up a classic game.
Metroid: Other M - I don't really understand the name, but besides that I can't really say anything about it. The gamecube games were pretty good, and the Wii one was okay, so this one could turn out okay.
That Kid Icarus thing - Didn't play the NES game, don't understand why people wanted a new one, but at least it's going to be a NEW game instead of another cookie-cutter sequel.
The 3DS - Anything I could say about this would be pure speculation, but I'll give my thoughts anyway. People need to understand that Nintendo is not a technological powerhouse, and the 3DS isn't going to be some huge leap in 3D technology. What I assume they did was instead of giving you glasses and having the film or material or whatever in front of your eyes to give the illusion of 3D, they probably replaced the top screen with the same material. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but I have to assume the 3D effect will suffer a bit because the screen is too small to give that "Holy shit it's coming right at me" feeling.
As you can probably tell, Nintendo didn't impress me. Sony and Microsoft didn't really impress me either, but at least they intrigued me.
Sony intrigues me the most, and I'm not even a Sony fan. They have the best hardware, and they have the best of both worlds because they're usually controllers AND a camera. Maybe they can do some good with a motion controller. The Wii's motion control is so awful to the point that it's BARELY motion controlled at all. All you do is point at the screen and flick your wrist, and even that doesn't work half the time. Sony has the hardware and caters enough to the non-casual crowd that they could make something that's actually cool and not a gimmicky, over-rated piece of shit.
Seriously, Nintendo; Do something interesting. I was a fan right up until the Wii, and you're not doing a whole lot to win me back.
This is mostly opinion by the way, but I still expect people to bite my face off when they read this. I regret nothing!
I must say, that dead horse that Nintendo continues to beat every single year must be almost mush by now. Here are my responses to a few things in the Nintendo line-up:
Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword - Wow, Nintendo, you really pulled out all the stops for this. ANOTHER Zelda game. Oh, but now your sword follows the Wiimote and your nunchuck controls the shield. Woop-dee-freaking-doo.
Wii Party - It looks exactly like Mario Party only without Mario, and those games stopped being interesting 15 games ago even WITH Mario. Hopefully the game isn't online, or you'll end up playing mini-games with a bunch of Mii-Hitlers.
Mario Sports Mix - You can play Volleyball now! Yeah, that doesn't really interest me. No thanks.
Kirby's Epic Yarn - Eat shit and die, Nintendo. Kirby swallows enemies and copies their powers, THAT IS HIS DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC. That is what he did in the original NES game, that is what he did in the N64 game, that is what he did in Smash Brothers, that is what he did in the anime. Kirby isn't YARN, and the person who came up with that needs to be slapped. How hard could it be to make a classic 2.5D side-scroller? I don't see you making Donkey Kong into yarn, so why Kirby?
Donkey Kong Country - I'll admit that it could be pretty cool, but only because there hasn't been a decent Donkey Kong country for a while.
New Goldeneye - another year, another remake. "Okay, so GoldenEye was a pretty awesome game, but how could we make it better?" "How about we give it to another developer, put it on the Wii, and make the graphics look as shitty as they did on the N64?" "Perfect!" Seriously, the graphics in that demo looked AWFUL. I look forward to see how they can screw up a classic game.
Metroid: Other M - I don't really understand the name, but besides that I can't really say anything about it. The gamecube games were pretty good, and the Wii one was okay, so this one could turn out okay.
That Kid Icarus thing - Didn't play the NES game, don't understand why people wanted a new one, but at least it's going to be a NEW game instead of another cookie-cutter sequel.
The 3DS - Anything I could say about this would be pure speculation, but I'll give my thoughts anyway. People need to understand that Nintendo is not a technological powerhouse, and the 3DS isn't going to be some huge leap in 3D technology. What I assume they did was instead of giving you glasses and having the film or material or whatever in front of your eyes to give the illusion of 3D, they probably replaced the top screen with the same material. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but I have to assume the 3D effect will suffer a bit because the screen is too small to give that "Holy shit it's coming right at me" feeling.
As you can probably tell, Nintendo didn't impress me. Sony and Microsoft didn't really impress me either, but at least they intrigued me.
Sony intrigues me the most, and I'm not even a Sony fan. They have the best hardware, and they have the best of both worlds because they're usually controllers AND a camera. Maybe they can do some good with a motion controller. The Wii's motion control is so awful to the point that it's BARELY motion controlled at all. All you do is point at the screen and flick your wrist, and even that doesn't work half the time. Sony has the hardware and caters enough to the non-casual crowd that they could make something that's actually cool and not a gimmicky, over-rated piece of shit.
Seriously, Nintendo; Do something interesting. I was a fan right up until the Wii, and you're not doing a whole lot to win me back.
This is mostly opinion by the way, but I still expect people to bite my face off when they read this. I regret nothing!
In soviet goggles, Russia does nothing.