04-21-2010, 05:19 PM
I'm stunned.
Wow, nice work, I thought some sweet romance in stories was dead!
I did like the approch of an established relationship and just going about the things in it.
As for the writing, great job! It could use a few small corrections and a sentence or two could be reworked, but it didn't take much from the whole experience.
I guess the only confusion was when he got all over Gatomon's face. I could IMAGINE that when he closed his eyes, she had hopped down and was watching him, but I kinda HAD to imagine that part otherwise he must have shot a rope or two nearly, what, 6 feet? Wow... XD
However, no harm done and I quite enjoyed it.
My rating?
9- 10
or to be more specific:
95.8%
Wow, nice work, I thought some sweet romance in stories was dead!
I did like the approch of an established relationship and just going about the things in it.
As for the writing, great job! It could use a few small corrections and a sentence or two could be reworked, but it didn't take much from the whole experience.
I guess the only confusion was when he got all over Gatomon's face. I could IMAGINE that when he closed his eyes, she had hopped down and was watching him, but I kinda HAD to imagine that part otherwise he must have shot a rope or two nearly, what, 6 feet? Wow... XD
However, no harm done and I quite enjoyed it.
My rating?
9- 10
or to be more specific:
95.8%
All things happen sooner or later, but one must remember, later eventually becomes sooner. - Me