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Inferno: Sympathy for the Angel(ch.1)
#3
(01-18-2010 02:15 AM)Renafan Wrote: Did Abraxas WANT to be Lucemon's "equal" just because he...Lucemon...proclaimed it, as does a little child when he sees something? I'm thinking that Abraxas is putting on a good show, acting all high and mighty with his God like figure...but why does he walk looking as young as Lucemon? You could take that somewhere...a 5,000 year old god with the mind of a child disguising himself as a mature grown-up god in the body of a young boy.

Not bad for a start, lad!

-Renafan

Pros-Good writing style, though I'm not a fan of the music.
Interesting new character. What's his interest in the Digital World?

Cons-Give Lucemon something a little more to be afraid of. He easily took out the Royal Knights under his command, though they were defeated at the time.
Perhaps a little spell check, but it's fine from what I can see for the most part.

Renafan. I was trying to create a villian that had atributes similar to Lucemon. Also, I was trying to think of a villian that was a kid and also a real fucking badass.

Abraxas intentions are just him trying to "assist" Lucemon's plan to create the "utopia", though, they are not neccessarily looking eye-to-eye, you know. And Renafan, if you didn't catch the title "Sympathy for the Angel", is a direct reference to the Rolling Stones song "Sympathy for the Devil"--I was directing the entire song to Lucemon.
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RE: Inferno: Sympathy for the Angel(ch.1) - by grandphoenix1 - 01-18-2010, 06:46 AM