09-06-2004, 03:21 AM
I don't know what to do anymore. I've been at college for a week now, and I think I'm going crazy. I haven't been outside of my dorm room except for meals, errands, and classes. When I arrived here, my behavior was so awful that my roommate moved out after just two days. I've been staying up till 2 in the morning.
Mostly, my head seems to be filled up with irrational contradictions. I feel lonely, but I get scared and defensive whenever people get near. I'm probably depressed, but I keep compulsively lying about it whenever somebody asks. In my more rational moments, like right now, I realize that I probably need help, and there's a building on campus, but I'm afraid to go there. I've been tempted to e-mail some friends that I haven't talked to in a long time, but I don't trust anyone, fearing that they would be repulsed if they knew how lonely I was. What do I do?
Mostly, my head seems to be filled up with irrational contradictions. I feel lonely, but I get scared and defensive whenever people get near. I'm probably depressed, but I keep compulsively lying about it whenever somebody asks. In my more rational moments, like right now, I realize that I probably need help, and there's a building on campus, but I'm afraid to go there. I've been tempted to e-mail some friends that I haven't talked to in a long time, but I don't trust anyone, fearing that they would be repulsed if they knew how lonely I was. What do I do?