Feedback on my lemon?

[renamonfan]

Just wondering if anyone has read the little lemon I submited, and if so what they thought about how it was written. Although there was technically no storyline the character is going to be in future stories I write, it's just a bit of fun really but I'd still like to know what people thought :)

You can get to the lemon here:
http://digiartistsdomain.org/lemons/renamonfan/