Failed attempts at living simple lives are what keep me coming back to you

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

One of your better songs thus far, they lyrics remind me of a Bloodhound Gang song with your flow and I could feel a slow riding syncopation on the rhythm giving you like a small short beats and going wild during your chorus. The melody I couldn't really tell where it would go if it was straight through but rather the "stop and go" feel to the whole melody. Maybe using a soundboard that Weird Al used in some of his songs to fill void or something. But this is probably your best vocally. Little hint before singing try and mix a cup of water with 3 tablespoons of honey, a tablespoon of lemon juice and gargle for the first swig. Considering this is a little vocal trick I used to clear the throat for better attempts to reach higher notes. I would have strayed away from doing so considering that made me cringe. With a serious job on the inside doing your production I would love to hear this one done in this twist.

First voice: Do it like an Hip Hop monotone artist that is continually going through the lyrics as if it were spoken word.
Second voice: Same as the other except a wholestep up.
Third voice: Your singing voice, going over the first step
Forth voice: Your doppleganger of the third but adding variable twists.
Fifth voice: Just fillers.

Anyway hope you take the idea into consideration. x.x;