05-24-2004, 07:32 AM
Bad things never get better, only worse...
Now I do have my GED, and I am working on dropping the weight I need to join the National Guard, so in a way my situation has improved quite a bit, but now there's not the possibility of divorce, there's a definite divorce in the future. I have a tendency to drown myself in fantasy when bad things happen which may lead to another divorce when it does happen, because I know right now that I'm taking all of this bad news far too well. I only hope that my parents divorce doesn't end up in my divorce from reality, and if any of you are religious in any way, I hope you will pray for me over that.
I learned today about a dark secret in my family that I could have done as well without. Eighteen years ago, when I was three years old and my oldest brother maybe not even a whole year, my father had an affair. This justifies the divorce to me, whether it is my mother's reason for the divorce or not. But I have learned one hthing in my teen-age years, and that is that the sins of the father are too often committed again by the children. I want to think I'm different, but I'm no more pure or holy than he is, so I know that I run the risk of repeating his mistakes. Knowing this only makes it more obvious of how I could fall, and makes it something more for me to worry about.
Now I do have my GED, and I am working on dropping the weight I need to join the National Guard, so in a way my situation has improved quite a bit, but now there's not the possibility of divorce, there's a definite divorce in the future. I have a tendency to drown myself in fantasy when bad things happen which may lead to another divorce when it does happen, because I know right now that I'm taking all of this bad news far too well. I only hope that my parents divorce doesn't end up in my divorce from reality, and if any of you are religious in any way, I hope you will pray for me over that.
I learned today about a dark secret in my family that I could have done as well without. Eighteen years ago, when I was three years old and my oldest brother maybe not even a whole year, my father had an affair. This justifies the divorce to me, whether it is my mother's reason for the divorce or not. But I have learned one hthing in my teen-age years, and that is that the sins of the father are too often committed again by the children. I want to think I'm different, but I'm no more pure or holy than he is, so I know that I run the risk of repeating his mistakes. Knowing this only makes it more obvious of how I could fall, and makes it something more for me to worry about.