05-22-2004, 06:35 AM
review Chapter 1:
Alright, I had just the time to read over the chapter 1 again.
I like it, that you use it in the first time to introduce the characters. It's a good way to learn about them. So it starts with the playing, which shows in a good way that they are in the real world.
The charecters are made in a cute way and it is easy to accept them. The short name gives them all more a private touch and makes them unique this way. The rings makes some room for different thoughts. If they are like digivices, they could have some more important jobs later, but this is at yours, and I am curious about.
It's nice the Digimon are famous in the Digimon world without knowing it somehow. The first places and Digimon there were introduced in the same good way.
The plot is easy to follow which made the story to a good read.
I don't say anything about grammar, coz I have no right to say something about. this must do a native English speaking person. ^^
Fazit: The chapter one is very well done and I don't see anything you could do better. ^^
Anyways, I have to change some little parts on the pic I think it looks not that well but it'll be done soon. ;)
Alright, I had just the time to read over the chapter 1 again.
I like it, that you use it in the first time to introduce the characters. It's a good way to learn about them. So it starts with the playing, which shows in a good way that they are in the real world.
The charecters are made in a cute way and it is easy to accept them. The short name gives them all more a private touch and makes them unique this way. The rings makes some room for different thoughts. If they are like digivices, they could have some more important jobs later, but this is at yours, and I am curious about.
It's nice the Digimon are famous in the Digimon world without knowing it somehow. The first places and Digimon there were introduced in the same good way.
The plot is easy to follow which made the story to a good read.
I don't say anything about grammar, coz I have no right to say something about. this must do a native English speaking person. ^^
Fazit: The chapter one is very well done and I don't see anything you could do better. ^^
Anyways, I have to change some little parts on the pic I think it looks not that well but it'll be done soon. ;)