01-25-2004, 04:35 AM
In this lemon Kari is aged in her mid-thirties. In the flashback scene she's in her twenties - plus she DOES have a degree in education after all ;)
Yeah, I supose some things could have been cut down. I might have tried a bit too hard to get emotions from the page to people's minds ... I'll have to keep that high on my list of worries when I write the next chapter.
Sonimon of the DHZ rated it a 9.0/10, which is good, but he also said that it was overly dramatic making him depressed while reading it - so much so that he didn't really have any erotic feelings about the lemon in general.
The "A Boy I Once Knew" series is not meant to be light-hearted and happy-go-lucky; its suposed to be a depressing story, but not THAT depressing. I'll have to try and map out my diction and imagry more when I write the next chapter...
Thank you for your feedback; you have no idea how much I appreciate it.
Yeah, I supose some things could have been cut down. I might have tried a bit too hard to get emotions from the page to people's minds ... I'll have to keep that high on my list of worries when I write the next chapter.
Sonimon of the DHZ rated it a 9.0/10, which is good, but he also said that it was overly dramatic making him depressed while reading it - so much so that he didn't really have any erotic feelings about the lemon in general.
The "A Boy I Once Knew" series is not meant to be light-hearted and happy-go-lucky; its suposed to be a depressing story, but not THAT depressing. I'll have to try and map out my diction and imagry more when I write the next chapter...
Thank you for your feedback; you have no idea how much I appreciate it.