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Feeling guilty?
#1
Here's the story.

Two years ago, I was playing football with one of my friends, my little brother, and about 6 random kids our age, that I didn't really know.

We were down at the park playing in the big field.

It was us 3 vs them 6, only because they were pusses who couldn't tackle me, and my bud was just too damn fast.

Basically, they were talking shit the whole game. Even with twice the amount of people, and one of our players was like 10, we were still winning.

People were getting pissed, and frustrated I guess. My friend nearly got into a fight with one of the guys, but I talked him down.

Well, getting bored, I decided to let my bro tackle one of the guys, so I grabed his wal-mart white tee, and held on to him, so he couldn't move.
My bro was about 4 seconds away, and I called him over to "make the tackle".

Well, about 2 seconds into holding the shirt, the guy turned and hit my in the chest saying: "Asshole, you stretched my shirt!"

Everyone stoped, and I stood there in shock for about 3 seconds. I couldn't believe he hit me over a stretched shirt.

Well, unlucky for him, I was still holding his shirt after 4 seconds. I reared back, and pulled him closer to me with my left hand(holding the shirt) and puched him with a weak hit in the face. I then let go and yelled: "This is fucking football! Don't be a bitch over a fucking wal-mart T shirt!"

Well, it turned out that I knocked out a tooth, and he walked away, with tears, holding his mouth. None of his friends went after him, which made me feel wierd...

Well, following my doctrine, I tried to talk down the arguments, but when someone gets violent, I get violent back.

My bud thanked me, because he was worried that he was about to go balistic on on two of the guys, and told me that he would have regretted it.

For the past two years, I felt fine about it all. I thought that what I did was warrented, seeing as he hit me first, and I was reacting in self-defence.


I saw the guy over the weekend at the mall.. He was talking to some people, and I noticed that he was missing two teeth right in front. I kept walking, and felt like shit right after that.

All this time I just figured that he had the tooth put back. And now it was apparently two teeth. And apparently he couldn't afford to have the teeth put back..

Sure he was being an ass, but did he deserve to look like that? People judge you by how well you look, and your clenliness. If you are missing teeth, people tend to think that you are a slob, and that you are a dirty person.

So the purpose of this rant, is for me to hear your thoughts. I can't talk to my friend, because his oppinion is biased. I can't talk to my brother, because he is my bro. He wont ever see that what I did was wrong...

So I am asking you all, how you feel about what I did.

Should I have hit him hard at all? Keep in mind that the guy wasn't that big, and I kinda am. I hear a lot from my family that "I don't know my own strength", like when I am wrestling with my father, or my brother.

I am actually starting to regret working out like I did in the first place.
I mean, I didn't even hit the kid that hard ya know? What would have happend if I lost control and just decked him?

Sometimes I wonder if some of the people at the Alternative Academy were only my friends because they were afraid of me.

Anyway, I have noone to talk to about this, so I hope you all can give me some advice, critic me, agree with me, or anything.



P.S. I started heavy lifting and dabbleing in martial arts purely for self-defence. I was constantly picked on during middle school, and I was younger than everyone else. I wanted to be sure that if someone was bullying me, or any other kid, that I could put a quick end to it, and set an example. Only thing is, is that when I do, I end up looking like the bully..

I also suspect that one of my friends is only a friend because he likes having me around for some type of protection or something. He and his group of friends always joke that if we got into a fight, that good ol' (my name here) would take care of em. Or things like "noone will fuck with us now!"

Hearing those things bother me, because it seems that they don't like me for my company, they just want me for my image, so to speak.

Anyway, your opinions on this would be very helpful, and I hope you all can give me some good advice...

P.P.S. Sorry for the long post again. Uhg..
Renamon's Army
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Messages In This Thread
Feeling guilty? - by Renamon_S3 - 12-15-2006, 05:33 AM
[No subject] - by rorancrystalwolf - 12-15-2006, 09:16 AM
[No subject] - by senjuro - 12-15-2006, 10:41 AM
[No subject] - by Wisemon - 12-15-2006, 11:34 AM
[No subject] - by Disturbed - 12-15-2006, 11:38 AM
[No subject] - by mowgly - 12-15-2006, 03:26 PM
[No subject] - by senjuro - 12-16-2006, 01:54 AM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 12-16-2006, 04:50 AM
[No subject] - by mowgly - 12-16-2006, 06:51 AM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 12-16-2006, 07:37 AM
[No subject] - by Disturbed - 12-16-2006, 09:55 AM
[No subject] - by Wisemon - 12-17-2006, 04:39 AM
[No subject] - by Disturbed - 12-17-2006, 04:48 AM
[No subject] - by That One Internet Guy - 12-18-2006, 08:37 AM
[No subject] - by UnknownH - 12-18-2006, 03:29 PM
[No subject] - by Disturbed - 12-20-2006, 04:51 AM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 12-20-2006, 01:33 PM
[No subject] - by jmj102 - 12-22-2006, 11:14 PM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 12-25-2006, 03:31 PM
[No subject] - by Gunter VanCrimson - 12-25-2006, 10:36 PM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 01-02-2007, 06:33 PM
[No subject] - by Gunter VanCrimson - 01-06-2007, 01:01 PM
[No subject] - by Renamon_S3 - 01-09-2007, 05:51 AM