09-14-2006, 02:20 PM
Okay, okay, just chill. In my story, Izzy sends her with strict orders to bring my character to him, which means right away. My character says he isn't going without a fight, which Epsilon takes as an invitation and accepts.
Still, I could probably change the part where she stands over him after punching him out and make her start to fuck him, only to have him wake up and her find out he was faking. And don't worry, her sluttiness will come into play very heavily later on in the story.
Another thing I forgot to mention; in this AU, Gatomon is Alpha rather than Piedmon. I felt she was more deserving of the title.
As I said, his unique abilities will be explained later on. And it was Epsilon's fists that formed craters in this chapter, not my character's. And considering he's been living out in the kind of world Red Rover has Izzy turn the earth into, I don't see why it's so surprising he's developed strength and good reflexes. It's simply him adapting to his environment.
And other than all this, how is the story looking? Does it have potential? With the proper help, can it become a good story?
Still, I could probably change the part where she stands over him after punching him out and make her start to fuck him, only to have him wake up and her find out he was faking. And don't worry, her sluttiness will come into play very heavily later on in the story.
Another thing I forgot to mention; in this AU, Gatomon is Alpha rather than Piedmon. I felt she was more deserving of the title.
Quote:Then David really is a Gary Stue, and you need to take away some of his powers. Strength and speed to take out muggers, I can accept from a street urchin character. Crater-forming punches and the strength and reflexes to fight a well-honed ultimate Digimon, I have a problem with.
As I said, his unique abilities will be explained later on. And it was Epsilon's fists that formed craters in this chapter, not my character's. And considering he's been living out in the kind of world Red Rover has Izzy turn the earth into, I don't see why it's so surprising he's developed strength and good reflexes. It's simply him adapting to his environment.
And other than all this, how is the story looking? Does it have potential? With the proper help, can it become a good story?