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Gray desires.
#1
Hey there! Anyone missed me? No? Fair enough.

I'm not really making an intro thread because I just came back to post this, seeing as I found ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER SITE to do so.

It's a VeemonXDavis story I've taken so long to create. It takes place in a universe I've created myself, it's the universe of my OC, though this specific story is not centered around him.

I'd also like to add that characters from the online game "Elsword" will be appearing in this story, so if you guys actually consider that this doesn't belong in this area, feel free to move.

And finally, THIS THING IS IMPOSSIBLY LONG. It's 100 pages on word and I don't fucking care. It's a Mega Lemon.

Yeah, I'm having a bad day, so what?

Here's the download link: http://www.mediafire.com/file/ocid4edwaf...esires.doc

No, not putting it in spoilers because I don't have to patience to put the appropriate places in italics.

If anyone sees this, constructive criticism, please.
Now major Joshua and TWEWY fan.
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#2
So, I wanted to comment on this, and I hope this comes out the right way.

Furry stories arn't really my thing. Having said that, I was really bored and kind of curious, so i read it. Well most of it. And I had to tell you, other than a couple plot points that bugged me, This was extremely well written. Even though, like i said, I wasnt really into the Furry part of it, the depth plot kept me interested and I wanted to keep reading. so, great writing :D.
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#3
Downloaded! This shall be read soon!
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#4
(04-12-2011 07:49 AM)Takatofan1986 Wrote: So, I wanted to comment on this, and I hope this comes out the right way.

Furry stories arn't really my thing. Having said that, I was really bored and kind of curious, so i read it. Well most of it. And I had to tell you, other than a couple plot points that bugged me, This was extremely well written. Even though, like i said, I wasnt really into the Furry part of it, the depth plot kept me interested and I wanted to keep reading. so, great writing :D.

Didn't see this post before.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, for the plot points, this was rewritten so. many. freaking. times. I was pretty sure there would be a plot hole or two in it, as well as, like I said in the afterword, I'd like to make this a series, so leaving a few things mentioned here and there to actually explain them later was one of my top priorities.

Thanks for the compliment on the plot, by the way, it took me forever to think of this story as a whole (not just this specific writing), so I'm proud of actually seeing someone complimenting me for my hard work.
Now major Joshua and TWEWY fan.
The OCA
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#5
You're welcome :)
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#6
Quite good, and you may have broke Veemon more than once during the fic but hey, He got to lose his virginity with Gatomon so he can't complain much.

Though I wonder why if Gatomon wanted to be with Patamon she accepted to be on a relationship with Veemon in first place? that part left me confused.

Another thing that left me confused was that Veemon said he lost his virginity over thirty years ago with Gatomon but the year the fic takes place is 2020. Veemon appeared in 2002 meaning that he only had known Gatomon for 18 years, so where did you got the extra 12 years? o.o
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#7
(04-23-2011 09:13 AM)Lord Patamon Wrote: Quite good, and you may have broke Veemon more than once during the fic but hey, He got to lose his virginity with Gatomon so he can't complain much.

Though I wonder why if Gatomon wanted to be with Patamon she accepted to be on a relationship with Veemon in first place? that part left me confused.

Another thing that left me confused was that Veemon said he lost his virginity over thirty years ago with Gatomon but the year the fic takes place is 2020. Veemon appeared in 2002 meaning that he only had known Gatomon for 18 years, so where did you got the extra 12 years? o.o

For the whole "Gatomon" relationship thing. I picture that as she having second thoughts at first for Patamon, and going for Veemon, and then having second thoughts about Veemon and then staying with Patamon. There's a little bit more of it than that, but I don't really feel like writing THAT story, not... Right now, at least.

Well, it's kinda hard to explain, there's a lot of dimensional travels in this story. But, to explain in a way that doesn't spoil too much, this dimension and the digimon dimension (The one the series takes place in, not exactly the digital world) are separate dimensions, Veemon got to know her in 2002, sure, then there's the 25 years fast forward at the end of season 2, then, something made them come to this specific dimension at the year 2010, then they stayed around for 5 years (30 years knowning her in total) and then came the war, which lasted for 3 years (33), this story takes place 2 and a half years after the end of the war, in total, 35 years knowning her. I think that should explain.

And, I'm glad you liked it.


Also, someone kill me, I reread a little bit and just noticed that I kept saying that Veemon, a DRAGON type digimon, has fur.

[Image: emot-suicide.gif]
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#8
(04-23-2011 11:24 AM)Sacchi Wrote: For the whole "Gatomon" relationship thing. I picture that as she having second thoughts at first for Patamon, and going for Veemon, and then having second thoughts about Veemon and then staying with Patamon. There's a little bit more of it than that, but I don't really feel like writing THAT story, not... Right now, at least.

Guess it took all that for Gatomon to realize that she indeed was in love with Patamon. So does that means that even though Veemon lost his virginity with Gatomon, she already lost hers with Patamon? I mean the having second thoughts about Patamon makes me think they went further than kissing XD

At least she stayed with Patamon in the end, thing that you don't see often on hentai materia, usually is the other way around aka Gatomon having second thoughts about Patamon and staying with Veemon, so guess it is just fair that Patamon recovered his beloved kitty ^^

(04-23-2011 11:24 AM)Sacchi Wrote: Well, it's kinda hard to explain, there's a lot of dimensional travels in this story. But, to explain in a way that doesn't spoil too much, this dimension and the digimon dimension (The one the series takes place in, not exactly the digital world) are separate dimensions, Veemon got to know her in 2002, sure, then there's the 25 years fast forward at the end of season 2, then, something made them come to this specific dimension at the year 2010, then they stayed around for 5 years (30 years knowning her in total) and then came the war, which lasted for 3 years (33), this story takes place 2 and a half years after the end of the war, in total, 35 years knowning her. I think that should explain.

And, I'm glad you liked it.


Also, someone kill me, I reread a little bit and just noticed that I kept saying that Veemon, a DRAGON type digimon, has fur.

[Image: emot-suicide.gif]

So dimensional traveling, now that explains much, and that means 38 years for Patamon of knowing Gatomon since when they met Veemon in 2002, Pata and Gato had 3 years of friendship already due to their previous adventure and the time of peace between both adventures. Man time sure flies huh? XD

But as I said at least Veemon won't die without at least had a good moment with Gatomon so no harm done XD

About Veemon having fur, believe me, you aren't the first nor the last who has done that. I really don't know where did that of Veemon having fur came from though :-/
[Image: patagatokiss2.jpg]
PataGato All The Way!!!

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