Season 4: Wisemon’s Alternate Ending Series
Part 20: Amish
Digimon is the property of Toei Animation. This story contains lyrics by Survivor (or at least that’s what I gather from the Rocky III soundtrack, but it’s kind of ambiguous). The ending deserves the beginning, so this story contains modified quoted lyrics by some 80’s to 90’s transitional rockers, U2 and Tom Petty, and the originators of alternative, R.E.M.. Also, I managed to find a decently memorable scene in Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones, so I’ve got a parody in here. Last time, the series essentially concluded with a sickeningly pleasant dénouement. So what’s with this extra story? There are still some loose ends, and I hate loose ends. Due to popular demand, there’s a slight continuation from “You Don’t Love Me Anymore”. This story has violence, sex, and bad language, because I’m going out with style…my style.
It was a week after the wedding, and Junpei and Izumi’s honeymoon was over, as were the victory celebrations that had taken place throughout the digital world. It was time for a return to normalcy, under the leadership of HellDiaboromon’s slayer, the chosen warrior. Junpei was ready for his career, and Izumi was ready to join him in a very active role. She didn’t want to be a puppeteer, but she didn’t mind having the heaviest of influences over the king.
None of this concerned Tomoki, because he was going home, or so he thought. Like the digimon, he was done celebrating. He was done with everything in the digital world. He had gone to the Flame Terminal to make arrangements for his return trip, assuming that he could go back the way he came. He talked to Angler, the Trailmon with the German accent, and he found out that it wasn’t so simple. “What do you mean you don’t go to the real world? I know one of you Trailmon has to go to the real world, because we came here on a Trailmon, at least, I think we did. Maybe I don’t know how I got here; I just know I want out. The Pagumon said it was you; they said you could do it!”
“Yah, vell who are you going to believe, me, or ze Pagumon?” Angler questioned. “I go to ze Sludge Terminal, and zen I come bock here. Zat’s mein route, and it’s always been mein route; I hov to follow ze tracks.”
understand; you have to do what you have to do.
What I have to do, I might regret later, but I’m going to do it
anyway.” Tomoki took out his D-Tector. “Those Pagumon swarmed me and Junpei in
the beginning, but now I’ve got the power.
Since I now know that they lied to us on top of everything else, I’ve
got a responsibility to use my power.”
Tomoki knew that it wasn’t even close to a fair fight, a Mega digimon against a horde of In-Training digimon. Nonetheless, he became JediFrigimon,
and he found the Pagumon. He drew his Lime Saber, and he instantly
froze several Pagumon with each swing. Somewhere along the line, he had gotten the
idea that the best way to release his frustration was in the form of homicidal
sprees. Nothing made him angrier than
having to wait, and the Pagumon became the victims of
his impatient wrath. When he had taken
the data from every single Pagumon, he returned to
pushed open one of the double doors, and he stepped into the recently furnished
“What was that? I wasn’t paying attention.” Izumi pointed towards the throne in the middle of the room, upon which Junpei was sitting. A Devimon and a Myotismon were standing in front of him. “I stopped you because Junpei is settling some business right now. It’s a dispute over the deed to Grey Lord’s Mansion.”
“My name is clearly on the deed,” Myotismon argued.
“You abandoned the premises, and I tended to your property in your absence,” Devimon argued.
Myotismon explained his actual whereabouts. “I never left the mansion. I passed out in the basement because I forgot to eat.”
“How could you forget to eat?” Junpei asked.
“My experiments consumed my time, so I compromised my meals,” Myotismon answered.
“Compromise, that’s nothing new for you, and that’s good, because you’re about to make another one,” Junpei informed Myotismon. “I was going to throw out Devimon’s case completely, but I won’t tolerate forgetting to eat; that’s just insane. You two are going to learn to share. Myotismon will retain ownership of Grey Lord’s Mansion, except for the attic and half of the bathroom, which now belong to Devimon.” Myotismon started to argue, but Junpei cut him off. “That’s my decision, and if you want to keep your dining room, shut the fuck up. Court is now adjourned.”
Izumi’s attention had been drawn to the case, and it was still drawn to Myotismon and Devimon as the virus digimon made their exit. When the double doors shut, it became Tomoki’s turn. “Now, Tomoki, what were you saying? It was something about the Pagumon, right?”
“Nothing, it was nothing. The Pagumon are alright; everything is cool.” The remorse fled from Tomoki faster than the Pagumon could flee from his Lime Saber, a lot faster.
Later that afternoon, Izumi wanted to congratulate Junpei on his fine jurisdiction…in their bed. She had already explained the evolution birth control method to him. Though Junpei was skeptical of its effectiveness, since he wanted to be a father anyway, he went along with it, secretly hoping that it wouldn’t work. His wedding night without the method wouldn’t cut it; Izumi wasn’t ovulating then, and Junpei had no idea if his wife had reached that level of maturity at all. It was a “feminine secret” that Izumi wouldn’t reveal, and Junpei wasn’t going to push it.
“I guess there’s really no rush,” Junpei considered as he humped Kazemon from a non-symbolic dominant position. He really didn’t like moving his body so much, but Kazemon had made it a contingency. “She’s right though, I do need the exercise.”
Kazemon felt the fever…getting higher…desire…burning…“Yeah…yeah…yes!” The warrior of wind released a gushing gust.
Knowing that his missionary mission was accomplished, Junpei struck with a bolt of his own lightning grease.
They kept going until their storm died down, and then Kazemon reverted back to Izumi. “You make me feel like I can fly,” Izumi told Junpei.
“You can fly,” Junpei reminded his wife.
“You don’t understand; when I’m Kazemon, and when you shoot off in me, you give me something I can feel, like I’m becoming more powerful. You know, I think I remember Bokomon saying something about that. You think it’s possible?” Izumi asked.
“Yeah, anything’s possible,” Junpei answered with a yawn. “I think this requires scientific exploration. Let’s take a quick nap, and then we’ll go again to test your theory. Does that sound good to you?”
“It sounds fine to me.” Izumi rolled into Junpei’s arms and they cuddled down the slumber drain.
One last piece of drowsy consciousness came to Junpei. “Even the losers get lucky sometimes.”
Tomoki’s birthday arrived, and he wanted to celebrate it with his family, but he was still with his alternate family. “You got stuck in a scenario and you can’t get out of it,” Tomoki told himself. “I take it on faith that I’ll get out eventually, but the waiting is the hardest part. It’s so painful, something that’s so close, but still so far out of reach. Faraway, so close, somehow it’s both; my distance from home is immeasurable.” He opened his presents; unlike Junpei and Izumi at their wedding, he only got three presents. “Let’s see, a pasta maker from Izumi, a reading light from Bokomon, and the rest of Junpei’s chocolate bars, but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
Tomoki’s attitude was reminding Junpei of his typical Earth birthday party, so he felt the need to cheer up his “son”. “Look kid, I know you’re down about having to spend your birthday here, and about not knowing how to get home. There’s still fun stuff you can do here.”
“That’s a little biased coming from a king who is getting laid five times a day,” Tomoki pointed out. “You couldn’t have won that fight without my help, or the one with Kouji. Good help is hard to find; you got lucky when I helped you…and I got nothing. I got absolutely nothing. Where’s my castle? Where’s my fucking throne?”
“I won’t deny it; it’s good to be king at the end of the day.” Junpei could feel something surprisingly close to hate emanating from Tomoki. “I’m sensing some hostility. Would you like to release it on me? I think it’s time you had that training session I promised you. Izumi, would you like to join us?”
“This really sounds like more of a guy thing.” Izumi remembered her reluctance to enter Polkamon’s shop, and that she would’ve regretted a flat refusal. Still, in general, she tended to avoid social activities. “I’ve been walking alone now for a long time,” Izumi said to herself. “I don’t regret not making friends, because I didn’t want to hang out with the friends that just weren’t mine. There was always something they expected me to do, and I didn’t want to give in to peer pressure.” Her husband and Tomoki presented no pressure, so she gave them an answer that exceeded their nonexistent expectations. “I think I’ll tag along anyway.”
“How about you Bokomon, you want to watch me teach Tomoki some moves?” Junpei asked.
“No, I think I’ll pass. I don’t see why he can’t use my reading light and curl up with a good book.” Bokomon used the opportunity to make his plug. “I’m writing a pretty good book right now, a chronicle of our recent adventures. I’m already on the last chapter; I just need to line up a publisher.”
Junpei, Izumi, and Tomoki brought their training session to
“Are you sure you want to do that? Beetlemon is no match for Blizzarmon.” Tomoki wanted to give Junpei fair warning.
“We’re just sparring; our goal is to learn, not maim, so I have nothing to actually fear,” Junpei explained. “That’s not to say that I don’t want you to try your hardest. After all, we’re trying to determine your true potential. Execute: Spirit Evolution!” The familiar blue and yellow armor encased Junpei, “Beetlemon!”
Tomoki took out his D-Tector. “If you insist on getting a Tomoki ass frosting, that’s cool with me. Execute: Beast Spirit Evolution!” Tomoki was surrounded with snow, and when it cleared, he had size, fur, and axes, “Blizzarmon!”
Beetlemon immediately noticed the axes. “Hey, weapons aren’t allowed!”
Blizzarmon dropped his axes. “I’m sorry; I didn’t intend to have them this time, but they come with the package. It’s like how you can’t evolve into MetalKabuterimon without those cannons on your back.”
“Yeah, but they’re attached…oh, I see what you’re saying.” Beetlemon felt that the training mood was not quite set. “Hey Izumi, could you play your fight music? It would be perfect right about now.”
Izumi glanced up at the fierce faces of Beetlemon and Blizzarmon. “This looks like it’s going to get ugly, so as long as you’re not making me participate, I’ll help in any way I can.” She took out her D-Tector and started up “Eye Of The Tiger”.
“Now, without weapons, how do you usually fight?” Beetlemon asked Blizzarmon.
“Uh, you mean human fights?” Blizzarmon pondered the question. “I didn’t really get into too many fights. My older brother shoved me down on occasion, but that was it. I suppose I’d throw a punch.”
“Tell me, are you locked in the punch? Alright then, we’ll start with a punching lesson.” Beetlemon slapped himself in the chest. “Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me.”
[Risin’ up, back on the street. Did my time, took my chances.]
Blizzarmon sent a furry fist towards Beetlemon’s face, but his wrist got caught before his arm reached its full extension. A second later, he was flipped onto his back with a fireman carry.
[Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive.]
“Here’s the punching lesson; don’t throw punches unless you can punch hard and punch fast,” Beetlemon told his student.
[So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory.]
“You mean like when Kouji knocked you out?” Blizzarmon taunted.
[Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive.]
“Right, Kouji was trained to punch, and most likely kick, with perfect accuracy and timing. For the rest of us non-karate prodigies, other tactics are necessary. For example, I just used a fireman carry. You’ve seen me use the standing version of that move before. The best thing about the standing version is that once you get someone hoisted up, there’s no escape. Even martial arts experts are completely at your mercy.” Beetlemon had a flashback of slamming Kouji onto Takuya. “The move works well for me because I’m strong and I can lift people very suddenly. Unfortunately, since you’re not as strong, I don’t think it would do too well in your repertoire.”
[It’s the eye of the tiger; it’s the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival.]
Blizzarmon stood back up, more annoyed than hurt. “Why don’t you tell me what I can do?”
[And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night.]
“A single leg takedown would probably be the ideal opening move for you. It’s a simple move, and it doesn’t require any strength.” Beetlemon moved towards Blizzarmon calmly. Then he suddenly squatted, grabbed Blizzarmon’s left ankle with his left hand, and wrapped his right arm behind Blizzarmon’s left knee.
[And he’s watching us all in the eye of the tiger.]
Blizzarmon’s vertical base collapsed, and his ass subsequently hit the cloud floor. “Not cool, don’t do me like that. Why didn’t you give me a warning?”
[Face-to-face, out in the heat, hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry.]
“The move only works if you catch your opponent by surprise,” Beetlemon explained. “Actually, that’s probably the most important lesson. The element of surprise is your greatest ally. You’ve seen me in action, and you’ve got to admit, it works pretty well for me. So now you give that move a shot, and I’ll pretend to be surprised.”
[They stack the odds, still we take to the street, for the kill with the skill to survive.]
Blizzarmon approached Beetlemon, squatted down, and wrapped up Beetlemon’s left leg. After a few seconds of tugging, Beetlemon still wasn’t toppling. “This move sucks! You taught me a move that doesn’t work.”
[It’s the eye of the tiger; it’s the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival.]
“The move works perfectly; you’re just doing it wrong.” Beetlemon took the accusation as a personal offense. “You’re not supposed to just yank the leg. The key is to wrap your arm against the back outside corner of the knee and pull at the corresponding 45° angle.”
[And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night.]
“You said that this move was simple,” Blizzarmon reminded Beetlemon.
[And he’s watching us all in the eye of the tiger.]
“It is relatively simple,” Beetlemon argued. “When you compare it to a jumping spin kick, or some other shit that you only see in Sentai episodes, it’s a really simple move.”
Blizzarmon stopped tugging at his instructor’s leg, rose up, and simply shoved him. He got Beetlemon to stagger back, and that was enough of an accomplishment for him. “I’ve had it; I’m sick of this. I’m learning to fly, but I don’t have wings. I just wasn’t meant to do this stuff.”
“You just started; you can’t expect to get it right away,” Beetlemon told his pupil. “I was training myself for years before I learned to beat up my bullies. If you want to learn a skill, you have to overcome obstacles, and not just mental ones. For instance, little by little, over the years, I gained flexibility in my legs. That’s how I’m able to kick so high. Just like the diet that I’ve embarked upon, learning to fight takes discipline, and it takes patience.”
“I don’t have either of those. That’s one of the big differences between you and me. We’re a team; we’re one, but we’re not the same. I already lost what little patience I had, because I can’t find a way out of here. So while I appreciate the thought, it’s not my thing, so let it go. I don’t need your lessons, so you can stick them up your ass.” Blizzarmon was surprised by how much anger he heard himself unloading. Still, he continued, insulting his other “parent” in the process. “Maybe I’ll never be as good as you, but neither will Izumi, and I’m still a better fighter than any girl.”
[Risin’ up, straight to the top, had the guts, got the glory.]
“Execute: Beast Spirit Evolution!” As soon as Blizzarmon spoke the words, like a reflex, Izumi called for her feathered wings and mask, “Zephyrmon!” Zephyrmon flew up to Blizzarmon’s face and stared him down. “I think a little too much of Takuya rubbed off on you. I distinctly recall him telling me that girls weren’t meant to be digimon. At the time, I thought he was kind of cute, so I let it slide. Kid, you won’t be so lucky. If you won’t learn from Beetlemon, then I’m going to teach you a lesson.”
[Went the distance; now I’m not gonna stop, just a man and his will to survive.]
“Uh, I’ve got an even larger size advantage over you than I do over Beetlemon,” Blizzarmon pointed out. “Though I’m not in the best of moods, I really don’t want to hurt you. Tell you what, if you get me something better than that lame pasta maker-oooof!” Blizzarmon’s proposal was cut short by a bird body rammed elbow first into his gut.
[It’s the eye of the tiger; it’s the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival.]
“What was that? Were you trying to apologize for being a sexist?” Zephyrmon saw Blizzarmon cover his weakened midsection while his other large hand took a swipe at her. The movement seemed so slow to Zephyrmon, and she flew above the limb easily. Then she proceeded to land a variety of punches, elbows, and slaps upon Blizzarmon’s jaw, about twenty hits in a second.
[And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night.]
Blizzarmon jumped back to avoid a further forearm flurry. “How the hell is she doing that?” Blizzarmon asked himself. “This is looking bad…I’ll have to raise the stakes.” Blizzarmon readied his hairy tendrils, “Frozen Arrowheads!”
[And he’s watching us all in the eye of the tiger.]
Blizzarmon’s attack came at Zephyrmon in slow-motion, at least, that’s how Zephyrmon perceived it. “Huh, I’m definitely faster than I used to be, and everything else appears slower. This is what I’ve been feeling after Junpei whitewashes me; this is the power boost,” Zephyrmon realized. “I wonder how much my strength has increased.” She zipped past the pointy lassos and got behind Blizzarmon. She tucked her head under his right arm and scooped the large beast off of his feet. She cradled him into a horizontal position and began to ascend with him.
[The eye of the tiger.]
“Whoa, where are we going? We’re already at the top level of the digital world. Is it really necessary to go any higher?” Now Blizzarmon was genuinely concerned for his safety. “If we go too high, it’ll get hard to breathe, right?”
[The eye of the tiger.]
After she had taken Blizzarmon about sixty meters above the cloud floor, Zephyrmon stopped. “No, coming down is the hardest thing.” She spun Blizzarmon onto her right shoulder, and she tossed him (the “Eye Of The Tiger”). Then she decided that he deserved better than the landing he was getting. “Just to ensure that you’ll remember this lesson…Hurricane Gale!” Zephyrmon launched her compressed tornado downward, right into Blizzarmon’s chest. The force of the attack added to the force of gravity, making Blizzarmon’s impact a very hard one. In fact, he hit so hard that he fell through the cloud floor and dropped all the way to the meadow below.
[The eye of the tiger.]
“Man, you’d wreck me, but don’t you think that was a little extreme?” Beetlemon asked his wife.
“No shit, I didn’t mean to do that,” Zephyrmon replied. “Yeah, it was overkill on a friend, but you’ve had more than your share of that too. So, if you promise not to bring it up again, I’ll be myself tonight. I think my spirits have gotten enough ‘bonuses’ to last me a while. We’re not taking any chances though. We’ll just do the old sixty-nine.”
At first, Beetlemon was disappointed, but somehow, his disappointment ended when he heard the position out loud. “Hey, ‘old’ and ‘sixty-nine’ don’t belong in the same sentence. Wait, they do belong in the same sentence, but you and I just assume the alternate meaning of the number. Do you think we should check on the birthday boy?”
“He probably wants to be alone right now,” Zephyrmon hypothesized. “Let’s give him his space.”
the meadow below
Ophanimon was puzzled by the boy’s request. “Why would I take a picture?”
“I’m not saying you would; I’m just saying you shouldn’t,” Tomoki clarified.
“So you’re still trying to use convoluted speech to annoy authority figures? That’s what you did to HellDiaboromon,” Ophanimon recalled. “You think that makes you cool?”
“I don’t think you’re cool,” Ophanimon told Tomoki. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I was watching your little training session. I think I thought I saw you try, but you weren’t trying for very long. It looks to me like you’re losing your cool. So how would you like to lose something else?”
“No, I didn’t notice, nor do I care. There’s a reason you were asked to leave. So wherever you’ve been in the last month, go back there, and don’t come around here no more.” Inwardly, Tomoki realized that he was losing his cool.
“Hey, wait, you haven’t heard what I’m about to offer you,” Ophanimon told Tomoki.
“I think I know what you’re offering. It’s probably the same thing you’ve offered to every digimon you could find in the last month. It’s the same thing Kouji took, but I’m not Kouji, and I’m not Junpei; I’m just…I don’t know.” Tomoki became soberly silent. “What I do know, is that I’m not interested, so go fuck yourself.”
Ophanimon looked into Tomoki’s eyes, and at first, it seemed like hate. Then she saw that it was something like sadness, a non-sexual frustration. Of course, she could only alleviate the sexual kind. For a brief moment, she almost felt some sympathy for the boy. “For the record, I’ve only been making the offer to human types, and human types are rare. Because of my involvement with you kids, I keep getting rejected. I haven’t gotten laid in over a month, and I’m just about ready to screw anything with two legs and a dick. Oh well, it’s your loss.” Ophanimon hovered away.
A tiny part of Tomoki almost wanted to accept, to lose that something else, but he knew that he would just be sublimating his real desire. “Hmm, this is definitely the worst birthday I’ve ever had. It’s even worse than the one where Yutaka took my new video game and sold it.” He ached all over, but his pride had taken the most damage. “They say everybody hurts sometimes, but I’ve never felt this sore.”
Ophanimon had tried every human type digimon she could find. Every digimon from Gallantmon to Deputymon had told her the same thing. They didn’t want to get involved with someone who slept with (not literally) a legendary warrior. It was just too much pressure. Off the top of her head, she could only think of one human type she hadn’t asked. “There are just two problems with Bokomon,” Ophanimon thought. “First of all, considering his stature, he probably isn’t packing too much meat. What was that other issue? Oh, right, I killed his ‘son’. Now I really regret that decision, but at the time, it made sense. Kouji was an improvement, but I had no way of knowing that he would eliminate himself as a sex option.” She flew towards Bokomon’s new home, hoping for something to end her dry spell.
the past week, Bokomon had relocated his residence to
his original home village, the
Ophanimon let herself in, though the door wasn’t exactly unlocked. “Today’s your lucky day.”
“Well, it certainly isn’t yours, because you’re paying the Ponchomon to install a new door.” Bokomon reluctantly remembered his manners. “Now, why have you graced me with your presence?”
“I’m here to make you an offer,” Ophanimon answered.
“Yes, Tomoki told me all about your offer. I was wondering if it would get to the point where you’d come looking for me. I’m a little insulted that you have such a higher opinion of him than you do of me, but perhaps you also realize that this scenario is an awkward one.” Bokomon began pacing across his cabin, trying to physically convey his self-deliberations. “This is something that Takuya actually predicted, and he told me to go for it. What’s in the past is in the past, and grudges have no redeeming value. Nonetheless, on principle, because I loved my little Patamon, because you killed him so pointlessly, I’m going to have to refuse.”
“If I told you that I wish I hadn’t done that, would that be enough?” Ophanimon asked.
“A half-hearted apology isn’t going to cut it.” Bokomon turned his back to Ophanimon, expecting her to leave. He waited a minute, and when he didn’t hear her make her exit, he decided that he would have to say it explicitly. He turned around, and he saw a different Ophanimon in front of him, a nude one. The only thing she hadn’t taken off was her mask.
Ophanimon thought she had the scholar digimon won over. “Are you sure?”
Bokomon tried not to take in the details of Ophanimon’s perfect body. He blinked rapidly. “It’s like the sun,” he told himself. “I know I’m not the only one who’s stared at this sun, but unlike the others, I’m not happy to go blind.” Bokomon summoned his resolve into a firm response. “Ophanimon, my answer is still no. Now please leave.”
“Holy shit, you’re actually refusing this?” Ophanimon spun around to show off all of her features. “What you’re forgetting is that I’m a Mega level digimon, and you’re just a Rookie. So you can tell me no, but I don’t have to accept it.” Originally, Ophanimon was only interested in Bokomon as a last resort, but somehow, the nerve in his refusal put him at the top of her list. Unlike Tomoki, there was an incredible strength in Bokomon’s convictions, and she felt the need to break it. “This will be for your own good. You’ll thank me later.”
Bokomon tried to run, but Ophanimon flew between Bokomon and the cabin exit, and Bokomon ran right into Ophanimon’s crotch. A pair of powerful thighs immediately clamped down on his head, and a sudden shift of heavenly weight brought Bokomon’s body crashing to the floor.
Ophanimon waited for Bokomon to start servicing her, and after a minute, she gave him a reason. “You’d better start working your tongue, because I’m not letting go until I have an orgasm. So you can either give me what I want, or you can slowly suffocate.”
Realizing that he didn’t have much of a choice, Bokomon decided to get it over with. He placed his lips around Ophanimon’s hole, and he stuck his tongue inside. He moved his tongue randomly, hoping to hit that something that would make his disgrace faster. He couldn’t exactly tell where the right spots were, so he just licked all around the canyon. Eventually, after he had elicited a series of mocking moans, he got a scream, and his face got soaked. The pressure on the sides of his head subsided, and he was finally able to squirt free. He stood up, wiped off his face, and tried to regain some dignity. “You got what you wanted; now would you please leave?”
“Hey, wait, that didn’t sound like a ‘thank you’.” Ophanimon zipped towards Bokomon and knocked him on his back again. While he was stunned, she stripped him of his waistband. “I wasn’t expecting much, and this is about what I was expecting.” Bokomon’s dick was only half erect, so Ophanimon took it into her bosom to finish the hardening, but she didn’t leave it in for any longer than necessary. When it was ready, she closed her Velcro noose around it. “I can barely feel it touching me; you’re pathetic.”
“Maybe the problem isn’t that I’m too small,” Bokomon quipped. He was immediately silenced with a backhand slap.
“I’ll make this work.” Ophanimon squatted and rose repeatedly around Bokomon’s prick. She worked her way into an immaculate motion, but couldn’t quite finish. It took the first release in Bokomon’s life to finally push her to a climax. She kept going, gradually slowing, wanting to make the most of what she’d hunted for. When she was done emptying the contents of her heart-shaped box, she got up and put her sea foam green armor back on (only for the reaction she could trigger whenever she removed it). Without another word, she left.
Bokomon was still lying on his floor an hour later, contemplating the experience. “If she had just stopped with my mouth, it would’ve been different. That sudden good feeling that she caused, that wasn’t right. Something came out of me, something important. It was something that should’ve been taken eventually, but not by her. If she had just stopped with my mouth…I wouldn’t feel so violated.”
frustration over not being able to go home had put him on edge. Junpei, Izumi, and Bokomon no longer made attempts to console the boy, because
all they got in return was a nasty attitude.
More than anything, the boredom was gnawing at Tomoki. He decided that he needed a hobby, so he moved
It started with a red circle drawn on the side of a large rock. Chakmon fired at the rock with his Blizzard Blaster for a few days, but the activity quickly ceased to entertain him. He advanced to moving targets, specifically In-Training digimon. Target practice got a lot more interesting when his snowballs hit living objects. He relished pelting every Bukamon, Tanemon, Tokomon, and Upamon he could find, but his ultimate goal was to get a Tsunomon to land on its horn. Of course, he didn’t let his targets know that they were getting shot at by a legendary warrior. He hid in the bushes, and he just laughed when the digimon got up, looked around, and wondered what hit them.
Though it never really stopped being fun, Chakmon decided that he needed a tougher challenge, so he moved on to Rookie digimon. Since Rookie digimon were faster, they were tougher targets. Chakmon learned to time his shots based on where his targets would be by the time the snowballs arrived, much like a quarterback timing his wide receivers’ routes. He “completed passes” to Betamon, Biyomon, Monodramon, Muchomon, Candlemon, Crabmon, Gomamon, Goburimon, and Kokuwamon. Hitting the Kokuwamon changed everything.
The particular Kokuwamon was part of the revolt at the Wind Factory, and since then, he refused to take abuse without taking action. He shot out electricity in every direction, listening for the pained cry of his attacker. When he heard it from Chakmon, he hunted down the hunter. When he saw the familiar cub, he was as figuratively shocked as Chakmon was literally. “You’re the legendary warrior of ice. You and your friends helped us take a stand in the place where we worked. You’re supposed to be one of the good guys. Why, why did you shoot me?”
Chakmon had a perfectly reasonable explanation; he just needed to find it. In the meantime, he settled for a copout. “You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know how it feels to be me.”
“I know how it feels to get pegged with a snowball,” Kokuwamon retorted. “I also know how it feels to be at the mercy of someone more powerful. I thought you would relate to that. Somewhere, somehow, somebody must’ve kicked you around some, since you were the smallest member of your team.”
“I relate to that because I have an older brother,” Chakmon clarified.
“Then why, why did you shoot me?” Kokuwamon repeated.
Chakmon silently searched for a legitimate reason, and when he couldn’t find it as Chakmon, he became Tomoki again. When Tomoki couldn’t find a reason, he broke down and started crying. Between the sobs, he wailed his reply a dozen times, “I don’t know!”
the first time in weeks, Tomoki paid a visit to
Junpei considered the admissions carefully, and he made his assessment. “You wanted to get somewhere so badly; you had to lose yourself along the way. I think it took a lot of courage for you to tell us this shit. None of us are completely clean; you’re probably still the cleanest. I think we all could use some time in the penance box. Therefore, I’m declaring tomorrow a digital world holiday…Atonement Day. On this day, we won’t commit any sins, we won’t eat from the break of day to the end, and we’ll have remorse for every time we wronged somebody all year.”
“Junpei, that’s a very noble idea.” Izumi planted a quick kiss on her husband. “You realize this means no sex all day tomorrow?”
Junpei sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
On Atonement Day, someone who had wished to remain anonymous had supplied Bokomon with a new door and paid for the installation charges. The new door was being knocked upon, and Bokomon answered it. “You’re not my publisher, but it sure is good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too.” Neemon gave his oldest friend a long hug, and he didn’t stop hugging until he was finally shoved back.
“We can’t waste anymore time hugging, come inside. I’ll make us some tea. I have so much to tell you, or have you already heard it? It doesn’t matter if you have, because you still haven’t heard an eyewitness account. I was there through the whole thing, and everything after. Oh, but you probably have a lot to tell too. What took you so long to come back?”
hatched at the
The avidness of Bokomon’s re-acquaintance attitude diminished as he remembered who his best friend was. “You got lost? Why does that not surprise me?”
wasn’t my fault,” Neemon argued. “A Lopmon at the
“What’s important is that you’re back now.” Bokomon handed Neemon a cup of tea and poured a cup for himself. “Now, I can tell you what you’ve missed and wreck my vocal chords, or I can show you with this book I’ve written.” Bokomon put a stack of paper in front of Neemon. “It’s six-hundred pages; I’d call that impressive. Don’t worry about how you’ll eventually mess up the pages, because I also have it saved on Polkamon’s computer.
“You’re expecting me to read this?” Neemon questioned.
“No, I’m expecting you to wipe your ass with it,” Bokomon answered sarcastically. Just to be on the safe side, he gave his friend the real answer. “You nincompoop, of course you’re supposed to read it.”
“There’s a problem with that…I’m a little embarrassed to say it.” Knowing that his best friend wouldn’t laugh at him, Neemon revealed his secret. “I never learned how to read.”
Bokomon didn’t laugh. There was nothing funny about it. It was pathetic, but pathetic was just the standard for Neemon. With an undertone of disgust, Bokomon gave a summary. “Kouji killed Angemon. Takuya smoked pot. Kouji had sex with Angewomon. I smoked pot with Takuya. Junpei got into a fight with Kouji over something stupid. Junpei was voted the new leader. Kerpymon showed up, and we agreed to fight him. Kerpymon joined with Lucemon to become HellDiaboromon. HellDiaboromon defeated MagnaGarurumon, and Kouji killed himself. Takuya got burned alive. Tomoki became JediFrigimon, and he lost. Junpei and Izumi woke up. Junpei became RhinoBeetlemon and beat HellDiaboromon. Junpei and Izumi got married and became the king and queen of the world.”
Neemon took half an hour to process the story, and then he asked his first response question. “What happened to Kouichi?”
Of all the possible questions, Bokomon couldn’t believe the one Neemon gave him. “That happened before you were digitized. You ought to know, and even if you don’t, I’m not going into it. It’s not something that Junpei and Izumi like repeated.”
“I only asked because I met Kouichi on my way here. I couldn’t get him to tell me too much, so I decided to ask you,” Neemon explained.
“You mean he’s still alive?” Bokomon was pleasantly surprised. “When they told me about what happened in that clearing, I was led to believe that Kouichi was dead. I’ll have to amend the book, but aside from that, this is fantastic news.”
“It sure is,” Neemon agreed. “It’s a good thing I tripped over him, otherwise we would’ve never known.”
Bokomon brought his hopes back down. “What do you mean by ‘tripped over him’?”
Neemon corrected himself. “I didn’t really trip over him. It was more like I tripped on him, but only because the middle of him was all smushed. If he had been a flat surface, I wouldn’t have tripped. I’m not that clumsy.”
Bokomon sighed. “No, you’re not clumsy.”
Junpei’s diet was a success. Through his resolve to stick to Izumi’s salad plan, and a daily exercise routine (an entertaining one), he was technically overweight by only a few kilograms, and that was according to the B.M.I. chart, which put everybody over by a bit. In other words, his body was normal…almost. There was still some loose skin on his torso where the fat used to be (though that would eventually tighten with the elasticity of youth), and his legs were still stocky. Junpei preferred being able to keep some of his size and most of his muscle mass, and Izumi didn’t mind, so everything worked out nicely. With the realization, came some experimentation. While Junpei and Kazemon tried out Kouji and Angewomon’s orthogonal wheelbarrow position, Tomoki experimented with his D-Tector.
Polkamon was still grateful to Tomoki for the removal of the bullets that the Tankmon had buried in his legs. Inside his shop, he directed his surgeon on using an untried feature of the D-Tector. “I’m not quite sure if this is going to work. We put in the code for the alternate dimension already, so theoretically, now we just need to dial the number of a Digivice.”
Tomoki was hoping to make a new friend in the alternate dimension, a D-Tector/Digivice pal. He was desperate for anything to pass the time. He was desperate for anything to distract himself from the frightening truth. He had no idea how he was supposed to get home. He was waiting for a way, but he didn’t know why he was waiting. He didn’t know why waiting would change anything. It was a state of blind complacence, and he hated it, but there was no proactive route. “I have to ignore this dread. I feel it creeping in, and I’m tired of this world again. I used to love this place; everything was new and exciting. Now it’s just an imitation of life, like a goldfish in a bowl. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside. If I can reach somebody on the outside, it might be a start.”
Daisuke and Miyako were on their first date, though they didn’t call it a date. After two hours of browsing with very little purchasing, they were eating in the food court, sitting across from each other at a table for two.
removed his new CD from its shopping bag.
“Dude, check out what I got at the music store. This is ‘Tune In,
“Fascinating, that’s my favorite Green Day song too,” Miyako commented.
“Actually, my favorite Green Day song is probably ‘F.O.D.’, but ‘Minority’ might be my second favorite.” Daisuke put the CD back in its bag.
Miyako checked her D-Terminal for the time. “It’s getting kind of late. The mall closes in approximately twenty minutes.” Miyako paused. “More importantly, we both have school tomorrow.”
“That’s right, I actually care about school now,” Daisuke recalled. “In that case, I should probably make an attempt to get a full night’s sleep.”
“All you’re worried about is sleep?” Miyako questioned. “What about your homework?”
“I got it done during study hall,” Daisuke answered. “The only thing due tomorrow was my calligraphy assignment, and that didn’t take too long.”
“Really, that was it? I still have a few hours of homework. I guess you’re just lucky,” Miyako concluded.
“No way, I’m a lot of things, but lucky isn’t one of them.” Daisuke’s D-3 began to emit something similar to a ring tone. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s definitely odd; I think your D-3 is ringing. Maybe you should answer it,” Miyako suggested.
Daisuke was never really sure what the buttons on his D-3 did, because Veemon’s Digivolutions just worked by oral command. “One of these buttons must stop this ringing. Well, here goes nothing…” As far as he knew, Daisuke pressed a random button.
“It’s ringing! I must’ve contacted a Digivice.” Tomoki gripped his lime green D-Tector tightly, awaiting a response from the alternate dimension. “It stopped ringing; somebody must’ve picked up. Hello…hello…what’s the frequency, Kenneth?”
“Dude, my name is Daisuke.” As impossible as it seemed for Daisuke to have a conversation through his D-3, he went along with it.
Miyako left her seat across from Daisuke and stood closely behind him, probably closer than necessary. “Yeah, only assholes are named Ken.”
“We did it, Tomoki! We made contact with Digivice owners!” It was the most exciting thing to happen to Polkamon since getting picked to give away the bride at the wedding.
Tomoki decided not to tell Polkamon that he was stating the obvious. “Nice to meet you guys, my name is Tomoki, and I’m here with Polkamon.”
“So you must be a DigiDestined, and Polkamon is your partner Digimon.” It seemed like a fairly safe assumption to Miyako.
“Uh, I’m a legendary warrior, and I don’t have, nor do I need, a partner digimon,” Tomoki corrected.
“You’re with Digimon though, and you would have to be talking to us through your own Digivice or D-3, right?” Daisuke checked.
“I’m talking to you through my D-Tector, but other than that, you’ve got the general idea.” Because of their curiosity, Tomoki felt the need to patronize his new friends, despite the fact that he was just as curious about them.
you don’t have a Digivice, and you don’t have a partner, then forget it. You’re not the real thing.” Because every new DigiDestined
made her feel less special, Miyako felt the need to
inform Tomoki that he wasn’t a
“Partner? I don’t need no stinkin’ partner,” Tomoki shot back. “I’m a legendary warrior. I can become a digimon. I’m even better than the real thing. What do you guys do with your digimon? I’ll bet you just give orders to your ‘partners’, and then you find a place to hide while they go do your fighting.”
“Why you…you…little puke!” Miyako wasn’t the first to address Tomoki as a ‘puke’, and she couldn’t have known that it had become a compliment to his ability to aggravate. “Do you know who you’re talking to? Our team led the campaign to save the world from MaloMyotismon, the most dangerous menace of all time.”
“That’s just not true,” Polkamon interjected. “In your dimension, Apocalymon was the most dangerous threat. Myotismon and his forms were just ambitious thugs. He never should’ve gotten as powerful as he did, but your team was rather sloppy.”
Miyako ripped the D-3 from Daisuke’s hands and prepared to yell her counterargument.
Daisuke immediately stood up, got behind Miyako, and began massaging her shoulders. It was just enough to calm her slightly, to keep her from making another enemy. “Dude, he’s right. As the leader, it’s hard to admit it, but we totally fucked up. If we had figured out that Ken was the Digimon Emperor sooner, we could’ve stopped him easily in the real world. We lost six out of seven Destiny Stones. We could’ve jumped Oikawa, but we didn’t. Imperialdramon shot MaloMyotismon into the Digital World; now that was a stupid move.”
“That’s not so bad.” Miyako’s anger kept Tomoki’s in check, because he knew that he couldn’t pull off the punk attitude if he was the riled one. “Half of my team died, but I wasn’t the leader.”
“Weak-dude, if half of your team died, you must’ve faced a villain at least as bad as MaloMyotismon.” Daisuke was trying his best to reach out to the caller.
“I suppose we might’ve, but the deaths were kind of indirect. It’s a long story,” Tomoki warned.
“I don’t think we have time for a long story.” Miyako saw a security guard approaching her and Daisuke. “We definitely don’t have time. Perhaps you can call us back in a few days.” Miyako handed the D-3 back to Daisuke, hoping that the security guard hadn’t seen it.
“Sorry kids, but the mall’s closing,” the security guard told Daisuke and Miyako. “What’s that blue and white thing? Is that a cell phone?”
“If you want to call it a cell phone, let’s call it a cell phone.” Daisuke couldn’t help it; authority figures lured out his inner smartass.
“It’s kind of large for a cell phone.” The security guard reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone the size of an aspirin. “This is the latest in cell phone technology. You just place it in your ear.”
“How do you dial out with that thing?” Miyako asked.
“Well, that’s one of the drawbacks,” the security guard admitted. “There’s that, and there’s the risk of developing a brain tumor, but other than that, it’s a great little device. Now come on, you kids don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
Tomoki ended his D-Tector’s call. “Polkamon, how did you know about their enemies?”
“That information has all been recorded in their dimension’s historical writings,” Polkamon explained. “I’m able to access those writings through my computer.”
“What kind of sap would do all that writing?” Tomoki didn’t need to ask; he knew the answer.
Polkamon chuckled heartily. “We’re not the only dimension with a Bokomon.”
was another beautiful workday in
like to help you, but I don’t have their spirits,” Junpei
“If you’re in charge of the
“Elecmon assists me, and he’s watching the eggs right now,
but please don’t change the subject.” Swanmon rephrased her request. “If you don’t have the spirits, could you get
whoever has the spirits to bring them to the
looking for Tomoki, and he’s visiting Bokomon and Neemon in the
“I don’t like this; why should we give the spirits back?” Izumi gave Swanmon a peeved expression. “We worked damn hard to beat Kerpymon’s crew, and now you want us to let them come back? Takuya and Kouichi beat Mercurymon and Arbormon. Since they don’t get to come back, neither should their victims. Junpei, Grumblemon was your bitch, and I know you don’t want him coming back. Most of all, I want Ranamon to stay gone.”
“The eggs have been purified; you won’t have to worry. Once they hatch, I promise, the legendary warriors will be very well behaved.” Swanmon put her wings together in a prayer position. “Please, have some compassion.”
“Well, it is the holiday season back on Earth,” Junpei recalled. “Actually, it’s just the American and European holiday, and the rest of the world has to go along with it. I’ve never really understood the point of Christmas.”
I learned about it in
“You mean like how I saved this world?” Junpei questioned.
“No, this guy saved the world in a moral sense,” Izumi clarified.
The story didn’t sound right to Junpei. “I think he did a pretty shitty job. Consider this; the Earth is so corrupt that we were willing to abandon our families so we didn’t have to return to it. It was the end of the world as we knew it, and I feel fine.”
and I’m better than fine, but I think the origin of the holiday is moot. It’s about being with people you care for,
giving presents, and being kind and charitable.” Izumi reconsidered her refusal. “Okay, we’ll all go to the
Beetlemon, Kazemon, and Swanmon stopped by
“So you want me to give up the conquered spirits?” Tomoki took out his D-Tector and scrolled through the additional four spirits that allowed for his Unified Evolution. “Why should I give them up? I like being able to become JediFrigimon. It’s one of my few joys, and I won’t let you take it from me.”
Swanmon had come to
“The same way I said no to Ophanimon…easily,” Tomoki retorted. “Think of me what you will. I’m possessive, so what’s the big deal? I’m an animal, a digimon, just like all of you.”
Swanmon appealed to a higher authority. “King Junpei, please, tell your friend to give up the spirits.”
Junpei sarcastically considered the request. “Who am I more likely to side with, the kid who helped me in my toughest fights, or some jerks who made our lives miserable? Man, it’s such a tough decision. Sorry feather-head, but if Tomoki wants to keep the spirits, then that’s the end of it.”
“If Tomoki doesn’t give back those spirits, it might be the end for all of us,” Bokomon warned. “The ancient guardians of the spirits have all evolved into indistinguishable and impotent digimon, with one exception. AncientWisemon, the guardian of the spirit of steel, is still believed to have an incarnation. If the spirit of steel is not returned to its rightful owner, we might provoke his wrath.”
“Hmm, that sounds pretty farfetched to me. I’m not giving up the spirits because of some doubtful tale,” Tomoki stated.
“No, you’re giving up the spirits because I’m going to take them,” a voice coming from behind the group said.
Naturally, everybody turned around to see who had made the bold claim. “It’s him!” Neemon exclaimed. “That’s the Lopmon who gave me bad directions.”
“Hey, it’s Christmas time, not Easter, but if you’ve got chocolate eggs…” Junpei remembered his diet. “…We still don’t want you here.”
Lopmon stared up into Junpei’s eyes. “I’m not here to give you chocolate; I’m here for revenge.”
“What did I ever do to you?” Junpei asked. “Obviously, you’re not ‘all there’ mentally, and I know a little something about that. If you are confused, check with the sun, or your imaginary friend. Think about direction, yours is away from us.”
The threats continued from the harmless looking bunny digimon. “You defeated HellDiaboromon, and you destroyed the egg of Lucemon, but you got lucky, and your luck has just run out.”
“Seriously, we could cream you as humans,” Izumi informed the horned bunny. “I don’t know what your problem is, but you better watch your step, or you’re going to get hurt.”
“Am I? Lopmon warp digivolve to…” The small bunny became a huge bunny, a huge and familiar problem, “…Kerpymon!”
“Whoa, this just got interesting,” Tomoki commented.
“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.” Izumi took several steps back from the massive celestial digimon, and everyone else did likewise, with one exception.
Neemon rushed Kerpymon and began punching the rabbit’s ankle. “This is for telling me to go on the wrong Trailmon!”
Kerpymon lifted a foot to squash Neemon, while Junpei, Izumi, Tomoki, Bokomon, and Swanmon closed their eyes. In a second, it was over, and Neemon’s fractal code was absorbed by Kerpymon. “Well, that was stupid. Does anybody else want to step up?”
Junpei took out his D-Tector. “Yeah, I’ll stand my ground, and I won’t back down.”
Izumi took out her D-Tector. “You had the last fight; this one’s mine.”
“That was before we were married,” Junpei argued. “Now we’re partners in everything, and the couple that fights together, wins together. Adrenaline pulls us near.”
“So you want to tag team him?” Izumi gathered. “Fine, let’s give him some overkill. Execute: Fusion Evolution!” Over the course of six months, Junpei’s power boosts had given Izumi another evolution option. She gained aerodynamic wings, white armor with purple trim, boot jets, and a large staff with a pinwheel at the end, “JetSylphymon!”
Junpei tried to get over the surprise of seeing his wife’s fusion evolution. “It’s alright; she moves in mysterious ways. Now it’s my turn. Execute: Fusion Evolution!” Junpei became the victorious beast, “RhinoKabuterimon!”
Bokomon gently poked Tomoki. “Aren’t you going to join the fight? If you were keeping the spirits for a situation such as this one, then this is the perfect time to use them.”
Tomoki scrolled through the spirits on his D-Tector again. “First, you tell me to give them back, and now you tell me to use them? When I’m done fighting, you’re going to tell me to give them back again. I’m sick of being jerked around, and I’m sick of participating. I won’t heed the battle call.”
“You’re a rebel without a clue, but suit yourself.” Bokomon directed his attention to the impending battle. RhinoKabuterimon and JetSylphymon stood side by side, ready to bury the last rotten seed.
“Hold it!” Swanmon yelled to the readied combatants. “You can’t fight here! You’ll risk hurting the eggs!”
“Will you shut up about the fucking eggs? You know what they say about making an omelet?” RhinoKabuterimon asked rhetorically.
A frustrated Swanmon began gathering her eggs into places she thought they’d be safe. “They’re supposed to be the good guys? If that’s the case, I don’t care who wins.”
Ominous purple sparks began to form over Kerpymon’s head. “Fighting me two against one will just make your demises quicker, Storm Of Judgment!” Dozens of purple lightning bolts plummeted from the sky and headed towards RhinoKabuterimon and JetSylphymon.
“You can’t hurt me with an electrical attack,” RhinoKabuterimon prompted. He was shocked in more ways than one when the lightning struck him. “Awwww, damn it! Alright, so maybe you can hurt me.”
Meanwhile, JetSylphymon had used her superior speed to dodge every bolt. “Huh, I’m even faster in this form. I guess I’m all set with my defense, so I’ll try out some offense.” The pinwheel on JetSylphymon’s staff began to spin like a circular saw. She fired her boot jets and immediately moved into close range with Kerpymon.
Kerpymon realized that he would need his own weapon, “Lightning Spear!” Ala Zeus, a lightning bolt formed in his hand, and he used it to block the swing of JetSylphymon’s staff.
RhinoKabuterimon saw that Kerpymon was distracted, and saw his opportunity, “Thunder Laser!” He pelted Kerpymon in the gut with a concentrated blast of green electricity.
Kerpymon doubled over and lowered his Lightning Spear, allowing JetSylphymon to slice into his forehead with her pinwheel. JetSylphymon got in several slices before she had to fallback, causing an irate Kerpymon to miss his retaliation attempt. “You’re just too slow; let me show you how to connect a blow.” JetSylphymon held her staff upright. The rapidly spinning pinwheel began to draw in the surrounding air, “Ultra Turbulence!” A supersonic gust launched from the pinwheel, nailed Kerpymon, and blew the jester rabbit half a kilometer away. “I’d call that a nice shot, wouldn’t you?” JetSylphymon asked RhinoKabuterimon rhetorically. “You see, I can win, with or without you.”
“I never doubted you.” Actually, RhinoKabuterimon had some doubts, but he always had doubts. “Now could you stop spinning that pinwheel? You’re making me hungry for the cookies of the same name.”
“There are cookies called ‘Pinwheels’?” JetSylphymon questioned.
“Yeah, Pinwheels or Mallomars, they’re comprised of a graham circle base, a layer of marshmallow about four centimeters thick, and a coating of twirled milk chocolate. Because the coating is so vulnerable to heat, they’re only sold during the colder months.” RhinoKabuterimon realized that he was discussing a fattening dessert, despite the fact that he no longer ate fattening desserts. “I guess I’ve eaten enough for a lifetime, enough to still be able to draw on experience.”
Kerpymon got up and strode towards his nemeses. “It’ll take a lot more than that!”
JetSylphymon readied her staff. “That’s okay, I’ve got plenty more.”
Bokomon cheered on JetSylphymon. “That’s right; you’re the warrior of wind, and nobody blows more hot air than you.”
Not to be outdone, RhinoKabuterimon gave his wife a cheer. “Yeah, nobody blows like you.”
“Okay…thanks boys, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to turn this bastard into rabbit stew.” Against RhinoKabuterimon’s wishes, JetSylphymon got her pinwheel spinning dangerously fast again.
“You won’t get me with that again.” A blanket of violet covered the sky directly above Kerpymon. “You won’t even come close, Thousand Spears!” As the attack name implied, a thousand lightning bolts poured down on JetSylphymon and RhinoKabuterimon.
JetSylphymon tried to dodge the bolts again, but there was nowhere to dodge to; the air around her was inescapably deadly. Though her speed was unmatched, her armor was rather thin, and Kerpymon’s electrical barrage was enough to force her reversion back to Izumi.
RhinoKabuterimon didn’t try to dodge the bolts; he knew his limitations. He braced himself, but that only helped him mentally. Physically, the attack caused him to collapse onto his stomach. Although it was agonizing to move, he managed to get back to his feet.
“One down, and one to go, Lightning Spear!” Kerpymon tossed one final bolt at the body of RhinoKabuterimon, and the bulky digimon dropped like a sack of blueberries.
RhinoKabuterimon could sense that his fractal code had been exposed, and there was nothing he could do about it. “We should’ve retreated when we had the chance,” RhinoKabuterimon realized. “Why was it so easy last time?”
“I’ll finish you later,” Kerpymon told the prone beast. “First, I’m going to dispose of your annoying girlfriend.” Kerpymon marched triumphantly towards Izumi.
Bokomon poked Tomoki much harder than before. “Now are you going to fight? Tomoki, everybody’s had to fight to be free.”
“Junpei will win,” Tomoki responded evenly. “If you believe there’s nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool.”
“I’m going to squash you like that idiot in the red pants,” Kerpymon declared to Izumi.
“I already beat you…and you beat me…” Izumi held up her D-Tector. “…So let’s have a tiebreaker.”
Kerpymon used a telekinetic beam to snatch the D-Tector from Izumi’s hand. Then he absorbed it into his skin. “There won’t be a tiebreaker.” Kerpymon felt that it was proper to taunt the creature who had doomed Lucemon. He momentarily shifted his gaze to the motionless RhinoKabuterimon. “One more time to kill the pain, any last words for your girlfriend?” Knowing from his experience as HellDiaboromon that killing Izumi would hurt Junpei far more than anything his lightning bolts could do, Kerpymon couldn’t help but smile. Then he saw the glow, the green glow that he also remembered from his time as HellDiaboromon. The glow surrounded RhinoKabuterimon’s body as Kerpymon tried to recall the significance.
RhinoKabuterimon got to his feet again. “She’s not my girlfriend; she’s my wife! And nobody threatens my wife!” The glow got larger. “RhinoKabuterimon mode change to…” Just like before, RhinoKabuterimon’s anger initiated his metamorphosis, “…RhinoKabuterimon Fighter Mode!” Then he remembered his nickname. “…RhinoBeetlemon!”
Kerpymon felt more annoyed than threatened. “First of all, pick a name and stick with it. Second of all, I struck you far too many times for you to still be standing. What’s the deal with that?”
“Didn’t you figure it out as HellDiaboromon? I’m harder to kill than the 2004 Boston Red Sox.” RhinoBeetlemon got into his charging stance.
“I’ve figured out what that position signifies, and you’ll never reach me, Storm Of Judgment!” Dozens of purple lightning bolts cascaded towards RhinoBeetlemon.
“That won’t work anymore. This form has a maneuver that the other form doesn’t, Conduction Spire of One!” Instead of getting hit with the bolts, RhinoBeetlemon drew them into his horns.
Kerpymon wasn’t quite sure why his attack didn’t do any damage, but after a second of pondering, he decided that the solution was to attack with more electricity. “Let’s see you block these, Thousand Spears!”
“Man, that’s the wrong move.” RhinoBeetlemon absorbed the electricity from every bolt into his horns, but there was far too much for his horns to store. He had to use some of it immediately, “Condenser Storm!” RhinoBeetlemon blasted Kerpymon with his own brand of green lightning, and Kerpymon dropped to his hands and knees. “Hey, while you’re down there, you could try begging me for mercy.”
Kerpymon briefly considered the suggestion before getting up, only to get knocked back down by a clothesline. Then he was lifted by his ears, taken into a front headlock, and driven into the ground with a “Shibayama DDT”. It took him a minute to shake it off, but eventually, he got back up. “Ha, I was just lulling you into a false sense of…where did you go?” Kerpymon turned around, and RhinoBeetlemon’s left arm and shoulder burrowed into his gut as he was tackled to the ground.
RhinoBeetlemon grabbed Kerpymon’s legs and turned the devil’s hare into his “Junpei Trap”. He torqued Kerpymon’s right knee with his proportional beetle strength, and got it to snap in under a minute. “Are you in the mood for begging now?”
Kerpymon managed to stand upright again, but with his broken knee, he immediately crashed under his own weight. “Damn you…since I don’t have a choice anymore…okay, I beg you for mercy.”
“I’d love to give it to you, but I’m afraid I can’t.” RhinoBeetlemon fired up his jetpack and climbed to about sixty feet directly above Kerpymon. “You made the fatal mistake of threatening the queen, so by royal decree, I dub thee, ‘Unforgiven’. I’ve had my fun, and now it’s time to finish this.” RhinoBeetlemon’s horns began secreting his own electricity and the electricity that Kerpymon had donated. “This one goes out to the one I love.” When his horns achieved a blinding glow, RhinoBeetlemon fired his jetpack downward.
Though she had hoped to personally execute Kerpymon, Izumi knew that she was still the cause of the impending ending. “You’ve got a charge so big, that it could crush this clown, so go on and prove it.”
“In the name of love, one more in the name of love, Smash Flash Gore!” RhinoBeetlemon fired his jetpack at full speed. In less than a second, his electrified horns found their way through Kerpymon’s torso. Unfortunately, after they went through Kerpymon, RhinoBeetlemon’s horns got stuck in the ground. He had to use some tricky jetpack firing to free himself. After that, he got to the immediate business, “Fractal Code: Digitize!” Kerpymon’s fractal code flowed into his D-Tector, but he knew that it wasn’t enough. He observed Kerpymon’s egg as it landed safely on a pile of straw not too far from the eggs of the defeated legendary warriors. “So that’s what happens to them.” RhinoBeetlemon strolled over to Kerpymon’s egg and picked it up.
Just as she was finishing securing another batch of eggs, Swanmon caught RhinoBeetlemon picking up an egg out of the corner of her eye. “Please, put that egg down! What do you plan to do with it anyway?”
“I plan to do this…” RhinoBeetlemon crushed Kerpymon’s egg in his hand. Eggshell smithereens and data particles sifted out from between his fingers.
Swanmon tried to find the words to express her horror, but instead she just fainted.
RhinoBeetlemon went back to being Junpei. He took his victory walk over to Izumi, and he handed back her D-Tector. “This was inside the egg when I cracked it open. I figured you’d probably want it back.”
Junpei’s attitude about the eventuality bugged Izumi slightly. “You don’t have to be so fucking modest. I get the message; yeah, I needed your help.”
“To be more accurate, I think Junpei needed your help,” Bokomon pointed out.
“Does it really matter who needed whose help? Technically, I won the fight…” Junpei hugged Izumi tightly, letting her know that he was genuinely afraid of Kerpymon’s intentions. “…But I won for a very special reason, the same reason I do anything, only to be with you. You’re in my mind all of the time.”
“Okay, now that’s seriously crossing the corniness line,” Izumi warned.
Fortunately, the sappy moment was short-lived. Several bolts of green lightning struck the ground in front of the happy couple. When the smoke cleared, a mysterious teenager stepped out. He had navy tinged hair, and determined green eyes. He was dressed in metallic gray pants, a black t-shirt, and a green vest.
Tomoki was certainly stunned to see the man. “Whoa, there’s a human here besides us?”
“Didn’t you see the lightning? Clearly, that guy isn’t human,” Junpei corrected.
“No, I’m not human,” the teenager verified. “I have merely taken the form of a human, specifically, the future holder of the spirit of steel. This being is known as Henry Wong.”
Bokomon had a wary hunch, but he asked anyway. “Why did you choose that form?”
“I am the descendent of the guardian of the spirit of steel, not to mention the product of the combined mental summoning powers of the Sovereign.” The teenager’s eyes became emerald flames. “My name is Wisemon.”
“We’ve met before, but that was just a dream.” Junpei had a gut feeling that no amount of anger would be able to match up against the power of the digimon he faced, so he decided to be as civil as possible. “It’s nice to meet you in person.”
“Indeed, and I’m proud to finally meet the one who fulfilled my prophecy. Now enough with the formalities; I’m here for the spirits.” Wisemon elaborated. “Since you killed the last lingering apocalyptic force in this world, you no longer need your conquered spirits. Steel, wood, flame, water, light, and earth, they all have to go to new owners. Junpei and Tomoki, I will request at this time that you deliver those spirits to me.
Swanmon had regained consciousness just in time to hear Wisemon’s request. “If you take those spirits, the eggs of Mercurymon, Ranamon, Arbormon, and Grumblemon won’t be able to hatch.”
“You are absolutely correct. Please allow me to end this conflict of interest.” Wisemon raised his arms, “The Offspring Lightning!” Four green lightning bolts came down and struck the eggs of the defeated legendary warriors. The bolts didn’t cause the eggs to change form or location like in Junpei’s dream; they caused the eggs to explode.
Swanmon was well past appalled. Once again, she fainted.
“That was just to show you that I mean business,” Wisemon explained. “Now, give me the spirits.”
Junpei pulled out Takuya and Kouji’s D-Tectors from deep inside his oversized jumpsuit. Then he pressed the necessary buttons to render their spirits. “I hope this appeases you.”
Izumi elbowed Junpei lightly. “You’re only supposed to say that to me.”
It was Tomoki’s turn to give up his extra spirits. “I know what you want, but do you know what I want? I want to go home. I’ve wanted to go home for months, because there’s nothing for me here. All I’ve got is the ability to become a kick-ass snowman, and now…” Tomoki broke into tears. “…Now you want to take that from me too. Then I’ll have nothing left to lose. I’m stuck in a world that keeps on pushing me around, but I won’t take it anymore. If you want these spirits, you’ll have to strike me down. I know you have the power, so go on, fry my fucking brains!”
Junpei, Izumi, and Bokomon slowly backed away from Tomoki, for their own safety.
Wisemon considered the ultimatum. “If I can send you home, then will you give me the spirits that I request?”
Tomoki’s tone became softer, but still distrustful. “You can get me back to Earth?”
“If the sky can crack, there must be someway back,” Wisemon answered. “All you have to do is click your heels together and say, ‘There’s no place like home’ three times.”
Tomoki didn’t appreciate the joke. “Go fuck yourself.”
“Very well, here’s what you really do. You take Angler the Trailmon at the Flame Terminal, and I’ll open up a digital portal along the track that will take you back to your world. It’s the same way you came here.” Wisemon anticipated some follow-up questions.
“Angler said that track just goes to the Sludge Terminal,” Tomoki recalled. “Besides, I’d hate to think that I wiped out all of those Pagumon when they were kind of telling the truth. So why should I trust you?”
“You should trust me because I’m your only hope,” Wisemon answered. “Likewise, I’m going to have to trust you. I’m not just sending you home because you want to go home; I need for you to go back to Earth. Junpei and Izumi are done working for me, but you are far from done. There is still a looming danger on Earth that threatens both human and digital life. You will be part of a DigiDestined team that must eliminate this danger.”
“Whoa, this is kind of sudden. I’m going to need a little time to settle in when I get home,” Tomoki told Wisemon.
“You’ll have plenty of time,” Wisemon assured. “The D-Reaper won’t make its move for several years. It still needs time to regenerate.”
“What’s a D-Reaper?” Tomoki asked.
“The D-Reaper is a computer program that deletes all data indiscriminately, including digital life. It was supposedly defeated by a modification that simplified its programming, but somehow, it rejected the modification. With its expansion programming no longer inhibited, it managed to assimilate the entire Digital World. That is why this digital world had to be constructed as a replacement. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the problem, because the borders between the Digital World and the real world are quite porous. Once the D-Reaper assimilates all of Earth, it will manage to enter this digital world. So, the goal is to stop it on Earth. The D-Reaper’s greatest weakness is its inability to absorb heavily organic material. That is why the spirits are being converted into special D-Reaper resistant suits, except for the spirits of thunder and wind, of course. These suits are made out of a combination of polyester, nylon, and Kevlar, and they come accessorized with rubber boots. Not only are they strong enough to protect you from the energy attacks of the D-Reaper’s agents, these suits are essentially bulletproof.” With his sci-fi explanations finished, Wisemon moved on to the important question. “Tomoki, what color would you like your suit to be?”
“You’re talking about jumpsuits, like the kind Junpei wears?” Tomoki didn’t like the fashion sense. “If I must wear one, then make it the same color as my regular pants. I think the catalogues would call this color khaki.”
“Tomoki, hold up your D-Tector.” The teenager raised his arms again, “The Offspring Lightning!” Tomoki’s D-Tector was struck, and it subsequently turned khaki. “From now on, just say, ‘Execute: Spirit Suit,’ and you’ll be moderately safe from the D-Reaper. Now, since I’ve agreed to take you home, would you be kind enough to forfeit your extra spirits? The other members of your team are going to need those.”
Just to be sure, Tomoki wanted to try on his suit. “Execute: Spirit Suit!” A light khaki jumpsuit immediately formed to Tomoki’s body. It featured full sleeves with dark khaki cuffs at the wrists, full pant legs with dark khaki cuffs at the ankles, a dark khaki collar, slanted breast pockets, and like Junpei’s suit, a zipper in front that went down to the crotch. Then a pair of black rubber boots formed over his feet. “Since you seem to really care about what happens to me, now I’ll give you the spirits.” Tomoki rendered the spirits of steel, water, wood, and earth, and Wisemon added them to his collection.
Junpei suddenly felt gypped; he had given away his extra spirits for free. “Hey Wisemon, since Tomoki got a new suit, can I get one too? I lost a lot of weight, and the one I’m wearing now doesn’t fit me too well.”
“If I were to make your spirit into a suit, you wouldn’t be able to become a digimon anymore,” Wisemon warned.
“Oh, then never mind, I’ll just have Penguinmon make me some new threads.” Junpei went back to pitying Tomoki. “Not being able to become a digimon would suck.”
does kind of suck, but if I get to go home, it’s worth it to me.” Since he was going home, Tomoki realized that
he needed to start the leaving process.
“First, while I’m here in the
The schedule had been set by Wisemon. The next day, Tomoki would hop aboard Angler at Flame Terminal, and the digital portal (the mass to energy to mass conversion technique) would be opened for him. Tomoki’s attitude changed overnight, from bitter pessimist to jubilant optimist. He waited with Junpei, Izumi, and Bokomon for his ride, and when the departure time came, he was psyched. “I can’t wait to go home. I’ll bet my parents missed me a whole lot. It’ll be really cool to see my family again, even my brother.”
“Yeah, but I hope you realize that they’ll probably be very…surprised to see you.” Junpei was tempted to tell Tomoki to look for his own grave, but he didn’t want to depress him again.
Angler came to a full stop, and his doors opened for the passenger. “Just tell me ven you are ready to go. Zen ve vill be on our vay.”
“It goes without saying, but I’ll miss you guys.” Tomoki gave Bokomon a hug, which nobody objected to, but then he gave Izumi a hug, and he was immediately pried off by Junpei.
Junpei came up with a rationalization. “I think handshakes are more appropriate.” He proceeded to give Tomoki a very firm handshake, a little too firm. “Good luck, little man, keep runnin’ down that dream. You’re going to be a star.” Junpei pulled out his D-Tector. “Hey, we won’t see you anymore, but you can still keep in touch.”
Tomoki nodded. “I suppose I can.” He reached for his D-Tector (just to make a practice call), but he accidentally grabbed Kouichi’s. “Hmm, I wonder why Wisemon didn’t take the spirit of darkness.”
“I’m sure you’ll find out sooner or later,” Bokomon answered. “I hope you achieve great things in your own world.”
“I’ve got a lot of catching up to do first. I think I’ll start at the arcade.” Tomoki took off his hat, exposing Takuya’s goggles. “Before I go, Izumi, I want you to have my hat. This will replace the one that Takuya…uh…left a present in.”
Izumi took the hat and put it on. “Thanks, I guess I needed a new hat.”
As paranoid as the thought was, Junpei didn’t want Izumi feeling like she owed Tomoki anything. “Tomoki, I have something for you.” Junpei reached into his jumpsuit and pulled out a very large roll of paper bills.
“Tomoki took the money from Junpei, and then he counted it. Then he had to recount it. “Whoa, you’re giving me almost three-million yen!”
“It’s the money my parents told me to always carry with me in case of an emergency. Obviously, it doesn’t do me any good here. Maybe you can use it to help pay for college, or start your own business.” Junpei remembered the theft factor. “Put it somewhere safe; I suggest stuffing half into each sock. Oh yeah, and make sure you use it responsibly.”
Tomoki took the advice and stuffed the money into his socks. Then he stepped through Angler’s open doors. He turned back to his “parents” one more time. “I’ll see you on the other side.” The doors closed, but Angler didn’t move. “Can we go now?” With the verbal insistence, the wheels turned, and Tomoki was on his way back home.
Junpei watched Angler fade into the distance with Tomoki onboard. “Hey Izumi, do you really plan to wear that hat?”
Izumi took off Tomoki’s hat. “No, it clashes with my outfit, but it was the thought that counted.”
“His heart was in the right place.” Bokomon only intended the statement for the hat, but it applied to Tomoki in so many other ways.
Then there was silence. Tomoki’s sudden absence was bittersweet. They were happy for him, but it felt like he had left a hole. The digital world just seemed a little duller without the snow punk.
The more Bokomon thought about it, the more he wanted to cry. “Come on, come on, no one can see you cry,” Bokomon told himself. He went back to his cabin to cry alone.
Izumi could only think of one way to fill the hole. “Junpei, I think I’m ready to stop using protection.”
“I guess you know that I’d like nothing better than to have some offspring, but are you sure that’s what you want?” Junpei asked. “After all, it’s a great big world with lots of places to run to if you don’t really like me. If we have a kid…now that’s permanent.”
“The last ride out of here just left, and you’re the only human, so if I want children, I’m kind of stuck with you.” Though the literal words implied no love, the tone that Izumi gave them was playful, and she knew that Junpei would sense the love behind them.
“Not necessarily, if you can get some dollar bills for bait, you can go fishing for babies at a swimming pool.” Of course, Junpei was referring to the famous album cover.
“You know, there’s a reason Kouji found those obscure references incredibly annoying. It’s really a shame, because now that you’ve trimmed down, you’re almost perfect.” Izumi was making an attempt at subtle cajoling.
“Hey, we can’t all be perfect like you.” There was no sarcasm in Junpei’s reply. “I kind of like tossing out punchlines that were never there, but if you don’t like it, I’ll try to restrain myself. Whatever the goal is, you can trust me to accomplish it. I started out all alone. I made some friends. I got some superpowers. I overthrew my leader. I went to hell and back. I saved the world and became its ruler. I successfully dieted. However, my greatest accomplishment was winning over a girl who only liked me as a friend. There is nothing left to win, and there is nothing up my sleeve.”
Not too far into the future, Junpei and Izumi had their first child. Despite the confusion that it would cause, there was only one name that they could give him. They named him Tomoki, and they loved him almost as much as they loved each other.
After a long and exciting adventure, Junpei and Izumi had achieved a tamer existence in a world free from the sickness of society. Together, Junpei and Izumi had settled the frontier.
so that was a little more than an epilogue, but once I get going, it’s hard to
stop my slow and steady progress. I’ll
spare you my opinions about the quoted artists in this story; I don’t feel very
strongly about any of them. One
interesting coincidence is that two quoted R.E.M. songs in this story and a
referenced Jim Carrey movie in “Dare To Be Stupid” are
about the same man, Andy Kaufman. I feel
more strongly about the music that wasn’t quoted. Junpei’s last
reference was the cover design to “Nevermind”,
possibly the most famous album cover of all time (though Pink Floyd fans will
strongly disagree). “Minority” was
already hinted as Miyako’s favorite Green Day song in
“You Don’t Love Me Anymore”, and “F.O.D.” is perfect for Daisuke’s mindset
during that story. I have “Tune In,
The land dispute between Devimon and Myotismon was based on the Digimon World video game. I hope you enjoyed that segment. I did my best to give Angler a German accent (print-wise), but I know it’s not perfect.
I’ve been taking Brazilian jiu-jitsu lessons for the past year and a half, and that’s where I learned the precise method for a single leg takedown. During one session, the instructor asked us to pick some holds that we’d like to know how to get out of, and I chose the standing fireman carry (which isn’t an official hold). He told me that the only way out is to ask the person lifting you really nicely to let you go. When the lessons are over, we spar for a while, and a few submission moves have become my sparring trademarks. They are the ankle lock, the guillotine choke, and a move that I like to call the “Desperation Deathlock” (a defensive move that I turned into an offensive move; it’s a leg submission). Even with centuries of strategies behind a martial art, I still managed to come up with something innovative.
This story featured my first (and probably my only) rape scene. If you know my life, then it shouldn’t surprise you to see the female as the rapist. I finally managed to find another girl with a lot in common. This girl actually liked anime a lot more than I did, and she was intelligent, laboriously charitable (she volunteered with children and old people), and she was an environmentalist. Unfortunately, she just wanted to be friends, but once again, it took me a few wasted months to figure that out. I call that my “raping”. What really pisses me off is the fact that dumb girls hit on me all the time, but the ones I actually want for honorable reasons have no interest.
This story showed a completely different side of Tomoki’s character. He wasn’t the innocent kid in this one. Being stranded gave his personality an edgy turn, for better or worse (personally, I liked it). When he got to go home, all that anxiety disappeared, so this personality change was just a one-shot thing for him…or was it?
I brought back Neemon, only to have him get killed off again. The moral there is Kouji’s favorite, “survival of the fittest”. Stupid people piss me off. As I’ve mentioned before, due to the stress and solitude that characterizes my life, my personality is much closer to Kouji’s than to Takuya’s. In this story, Bokomon played the role of me (in my capacity as a writer, not necessarily the rape thing).
appearance of Swanmon and the
more reference to the number four and one more reference to
You might be wondering why I used JetSylphymon instead of the actual name, JetSilphymon. According to Megchan's Digimon Encyclopedia, “Silphy is a misspelling of sylph, an elemental spirit of the air.” I got in one last battle. It wasn’t as good as the one with HellDiaboromon, but I think it was still worth having. Wisemon came back in the form of Henry. As you might expect, this means that I’m planning on making Henry a part of the next series. Why did I give Tomoki a khaki jumpsuit? In the next series, it’ll be a reference to a show where each character had a different colored jumpsuit. I had Tomoki become acquainted with Daisuke and Miyako in this story to help with that eventual parody. Currently, one American dollar equals about 110 Japanese yen, so somewhere just shy of three-million yen would be the equivalent of $25,000, the best bonus prize on Wheel of Fortune.
I had been planning that last paragraph for a while. Did you catch the words “adventure”, “tamer”, and “frontier”? They were very intentional.
While most of these stories contained quoted lyrics, I thought it might be nice to give each story one song in particular that would correspond to its plot and mood. I used twenty different artists. With one exception, I only used songs that were CD singles, or songs that got radio play despite not being official singles. For stories with quoted lyrics, I tried to make the story’s song by the featured band in the story. There was one other important criterion. Taken together, all twenty songs add up to approximately 79:40 (including time for two second gaps in between songs). In other words, you could make this soundtrack on an eighty minute CD-R.
“The Saga Begins” = “Zero” by The Smashing Pumpkins ():
This was a radio single, and my second favorite Pumpkins song.
“I’m your lover. I’m a zero…Throw out your cares and fly…She’s the one for me. She’s all I really need.”
“ Star” = “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me” by U2 ():
The melody makes this my favorite U2 song. Lyrically, yes, their best stuff was in the 80’s. In fact, there’s been a steady decline in U2’s lyrics. It’s gotten to the point of “Vertigo”, which is nothing but a pure pop song, appealing to the worst in human nature. “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me” isn’t exactly brilliant either, but the “Weird Al” parody, “Cavity Search”, makes me partial to it.
“You don’t know how you got here; you just know you want out, believing in yourself almost as much as you doubt…You’re a star.”
“Trigger Happy” = “How I Could Just Kill A Man” by Rage Against The Machine (written by Cypress Hill) ():
This was a radio single, but it doesn’t get played all that often. Since these aren’t Rage Against The Machine’s lyrics, this song wasn’t quoted in any of the stories, but it’s the perfect song for this story.
“Acting kind of loco…Here’s an example, just a little sample, how I could just kill a man…Didn’t have to blast him, but I did anyway; young punk had to pay.”
“Fat” = “Somebody To Shove” by Soul Asylum ():
This was Soul Asylum’s first single, before they hit it big with “Runaway Train”. Personally, I prefer this song.
“Tell me I’m not alone…Let’s talk it over; let’s go out and paint the town…I want somebody to shove me.”
“The White Stuff” = “She” by Green Day ():
I believe this was the fifth radio single from “Dookie”. Five singles is a sign of a very successful album.
“She’s figured out all her doubts were someone else’s point of view. Waking up this time to smash the silence with a brick of self-control.”
= “Hunger Strike” by
This was my least favorite story,
and it deserves a song that I don’t like very much. Almost every song on Chris Cornell’s “
“But I’m growing hungry…”
“Eat It” = “Don’t Tread On Me” by Metallica ():
While this song wasn’t an official single, like almost every song on the “Black Album”, it does get its share of airplay. You were probably expecting me to save the Metallica song for “Ode To A Superhero”, and I was, but “Don’t Tread On Me” is just too perfect for this story.
“Never begins it, never, but once engaged, never surrenders, showing the fangs of rage. Don’t tread on me! So be it, threaten no more. To secure peace is to prepare for war…Quick is the blue tongue, forked as lightning strike.”
“I Can’t Watch This/Dog Eat Dog” =
“I Stay Away” by
It’s a radio single, from the lighter side of Alice In Chains.
“Won’t prevent safe passage here…Tears that soak a callous heart. Why you act frightened? I am enlightened. Your weakness builds me.”
“Smells Like Nirvana” = “Drain You” by Nirvana ():
As I mentioned earlier, every song on “Nevermind” is considered a radio single, and I’ve heard this one several times.
“One baby to another says, ‘I'm lucky to have met you.’ I don't care what you think unless it is about me. It is now my duty to completely drain you…In a passionate kiss from my mouth to yours…I've become your pupil.”
“Addicted To Spuds” = “My Life Inside Your Heart” by Rise Against ():
This is the exception. This song isn’t a single. In fact, this band has yet to get any major airplay. However, I sense big things for them in the near future, just as I predicted big things for Shinedown in March of 2003. Rise Against has quickly become my second favorite punk band (right behind The Offspring). Their lyrics and passion are unmatched, and they lead role model lifestyles, unlike most bands. It was bittersweet to see so many copies of their latest album in Best Buy, because now they’re not just my secret, but I wish them success. The whole song is absolutely perfect, so I’ll give you the whole thing.
Fighting back the impulse, turn
my head and close my eyes.
Spending these nights awake and cold and paralyzed.
Wonder how we got this far and never realized
The common thread
that binds our lives.
And I know you hurt, but I can help you if you can…
Take my hand.
And we'll live inside the dreams we left behind.
Take my hand.
As we move from this place to a better life.
Take my hand.
(If you take my hand).
Fighting back the feeling that you always could deny.
Anything but everything we know is just a lie.
As I cremate this memory and watch the darkened ashes rise.
And beneath the smoke I'll stand, and ask you if you can…
Take my hand.
And I'll promise not to ever let it go.
Take my hand.
'Cause this hope is greater than you'll ever know.
(Take my hand).
And this is all I'll ever ask of you to show.
Fight back the urges, turn my head and close my eyes.
And will I wake tomorrow still alive?
I'm still dreaming.
I'm still waiting.
I'm still sure.
(I'm still sure).
You're still living in a life that isn't yours.
(That isn't yours).
And this is part of me
I hope you never see.
This is my life inside your heart.
Take my hand.
And I'll promise not to ever let it go.
Take my hand.
'Cause this hope is greater than you'll ever know.
(Take my hand).
And this is all I'll ever ask of you to show.
“Everything You Know Is Wrong” =
“Sex Type Thing” by
“Core” had six radio singles, including this song. Arguably, “Sex Type Thing” is one of the best song titles of all time. The STP tradition continues in Velvet Revolver. In my opinion, “Contraband” was the best album of 2004.
“I wanna get next to you…I’m gonna get close to you…I know you want what’s on my mind. I know you like what’s on my mind…Here I come, I come, I come, I come.”
“Headline News” = “Imitation Of Life” by R.E.M. ():
R.E.M. is probably the lightest music that I’m willing to listen to. I got their greatest hits, and I’m well aware that many of the hits were excluded from it, but when I heard this song, it seemed perfect for Kouji’s mindset in the story.
“That sugar cane, that tasted good. That cinnamon, that’s Hollywood…Trying to look like you don’t try…This lightning storm, this tidal wave, this avalanche, I’m not afraid. Come on, come on, no one can see me cry.”
“Generic Blues” = “Blow Up The Outside World” by Soundgarden ():
The turning point story deserves the turning point song. “Blow Up The Outside World” is not only my favorite Soundgarden song, but it is also one of my favorite songs amongst every song. During the course of this series, it superceded “Eat It” (my longtime favorite song), but part of that was the diet. “Blow Up The Outside World” fits this story better than any song fits any of the other stories. Its verses are quiet and depressing. Their content expresses a depression very similar to Junpei’s. Its choruses are absolutely explosive, like the depression that quickly turns to anger. Its ending is long and dragged out, just like the ending to “Generic Blues”. The radio single version cuts off this ending, but the edit just doesn’t sound right. The entirety of “Down On The Upside” (an album that’s only available as a Japanese import) is exquisite, and if you don’t own this album, you’re really missing out.
“Nothing seems to kill me, no matter how hard I try…Nothing seems to break me, no matter how far I fall…Not one for giving up, though not invincible, I know…I’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I NEED. I’D GIVE YOU EVERYTHING I OWN. I’D GIVE IN IF IT COULD AT LEAST BE OURS ALONE. I’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I COULD, TO BLOW IT TO HELL AND GONE. BURROW DOWN IN AND BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE, BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE, BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE WORLD.”
“I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead” = “Tear Away” by Drowning Pool ():
This was the second single from “Sinner” (it’s superior to “Bodies”). I’ll give them credit; they got a new lead singer and got some success with their second album, but “Sinner” was still significantly better than “Desensitized”.
“I’m tearing away. Pieces are falling; I can’t seem to make them stay…I don’t care about anyone else but me. I don’t care about anyone…Do I really want this?”
“Dare To Be Stupid” = “Prayer” by Disturbed ():
This was the first single from “Believe”. You were probably expecting “Stupify” for this story, but I hate that extra thing that the album version puts on the end. Besides, almost every lyric from this song fits the story perfectly.
“Another dream that will never come true, just to compliment your sorrow. Another life that I’ve taken from you, a gift to add on to your pain and suffering…Let me enlighten you…Burn me alive, inside…Another nightmare about to come true…Bring to life everything that you fear.”
“Livin’ In The Fridge” = “My Friends” by Red Hot Chili Peppers ():
This was a radio single. I’m not really a fan of theirs, mostly because Anthony just writes lyrics that have absolutely no personal significance.
“I love all of you, hurt by the cold. So hard, and lonely too, when you don’t know yourself. My friends are so distressed…Imagine me, taught by tragedy.”
“I Think I’m A Clone Now (Pretty Fly For A Rabbi)” = “Show Me How To Live” by Audioslave ():
This was the third of five singles from Audioslave’s self-titled debut. This was the best album of 2002, easily. “Show Me How To Live” was the best single, but the best song on the album is “Shadow On The Sun”. This is Chris Cornell’s third appearance on this soundtrack, which says something about my fondness for his voice and writing ability.
“Someone get me a priest, to put my mind to bed, this ringing in my head…You gave me life; now show me how to live…And in your final hours I will stand, ready to begin.”
“Ode To A Superhero” = “Defy You” by The Offspring ():
There are a few songs by The Offspring that I like even better than “Blow Up The Outside World”, and “Defy You” is among them. Analogously, “Ode To A Superhero” became my favorite story by the time I was finished. I was looking for a Metallica song for this story, and out of the 1000+ minutes of Metallica that I own, “Hero Of The Day” fit the best, but it didn’t express enough determination.
“You may push me around, but you cannot win. You may throw me down, but I’ll rise again. The more you say, the more I defy you…You cannot stop us. You cannot bring us down. Never give up, we go on and on. You’ll never break us, never bring us down. We are alive…When my anger grows, I’ll use it to win…All my will, all my strength, rip it out, start again…Can you leave it all behind? ‘Cause you can’t go back.”
“Happy Birthday” = “Generator” by Foo Fighters ():
Though I haven’t heard this song on
the radio, I happen to own the CD single (for “Fraternity”, an awesome song),
so I know they could play it if they wanted to.
This is the song I chose to replace “
“Call it sin, you can call it whatever, eating deep inside of you…I’m the generator, firing whenever you quit…Can’t you hear my motored heart? You’re the one that started it.”
“Amish Paradise” = “It’s Good To Be King” by Tom Petty ():
I haven’t heard it on the radio, because it’s not on any station that I listen to, but I know I’ve seen the video. I think this song accurately portrays why I disassociate myself with Junpei in the end.
“It’s good to be king, if just for a while…It’s good to get high and never come down. It’s good to be king of your own little town…It’s good to be king, and have your own world…A sweet little queen who can’t run away. It’s good to be king, whatever it pays.”
I guess that’s it for this series, except for the compilation of point of view poems. Writing these stories changed my life. My Junpei would do anything to be with Izumi, including losing the extra weight. It was that characteristic that pushed me to lose my own extra weight (about fifty pounds). I figured that when I found the girl who was perfect for me, that I had to be perfect for her. Recently, I’ve discovered that being perfect isn’t always enough, but at least being a modern Prince Charming gives me lots of options. With the dieting, that’s pretty much what Junpei became (a King Charming). We did it together, me and my son. Since he succeeded, and I’m still alone, I can’t help hating him a bit now. The last two stories were meant to show how perfect his life had become, and they were meant to draw out envy and hatred from the average reader of these stories. That’s why I need to keep writing, because Junpei is no longer a character that I can relate to and vent through. I have to find a new one, maybe a few. However, as much as I want to let it out, another series might not be feasible. Because my poetry has started to become appreciated by judges who matter, it will definitely take away from my fictional writing time. Obviously, I have a plan for another series, but I can’t promise to deliver it. It’s personally important for me to mention that there’s no promise, because I never break a promise.
I’d like to thank everyone who emailed me comments on my writing. Your encouragement helped me along, though I refused to give up anyway. I always like to get more comments, so I’ll give you my email address:
My university email address expires in May 2006, so I’ll also give you an alternate email address (I check it about twice per month):
©2004 By Benjamin Wiseman