Season 4: Wisemon’s Alternate Ending Series
Part 17: I Think I’m A Clone Now (Pretty Fly For A Rabbi)
By Wisemon
Digimon is the property of Toei Animation. This story contains modified quoted lyrics by The Offspring (there’s a track list at the end), Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, Rage Against The Machine (for the sake of simplicity, each of the previous four bands is quoted by only one character), Chris Cornell, and Audioslave. This one also has some memorable modified quotes from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and one from Spider-Man: The Animated Series (a quote from Wolverine). Last time, Tomoki was given the power to do a unified evolution, and JediFrigimon was born. The begging-for-a-lawsuit digimon put up a good fight, but HellDiaboromon put up a better one. Before his defeat, JediFrigimon did as the prophecy instructed. He froze hell over, but it didn’t last. Meanwhile, Junpei and Izumi fell asleep together. Junpei carefully aligned their genitals in a parallel position to avoid deflowering. Before the battle with HellDiaboromon is concluded, Junpei will have an off-some dream. Of course, dreams are based on the events of one’s day. Similarly, Junpei’s dream has references to every previous story, so I strongly suggest reading those first. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the disclaimer. That’s right, the disclaimer. This story contains explicit depictions of things which are unreal. These unreal things are commonly known as fiction. So, if it sounds sarcastic, that’s probably Kouji. If it sounds stupid, that’s probably Takuya. If it offends you, that’s all me, because it’s intended to offend the following groups: the squeamish, the elderly, gays, straights, the mentally impaired, the physically impaired, Christians, Jews, Muslims, atheists, whites, blacks, Asians, Americans, and any that I haven’t mentioned. As always, this is intended for adult readers. If you’re under 18…you won’t be doing any time. Hey, come out and play. I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.
Junpei examined his dreamscape. The ground was a flat grassy field, extending as far as his eyes could see. The sky was dark and littered with stars. “This isn’t very imaginative,” Junpei commented. “Let’s see, the blue me is fighting Kouji, and the yellow me is cuddling with Izumi. Yeah, it’s the same dream. It’s a good dream…I just wish that I was participating. I guess I’ll just watch. It’s time to relax, indulge myself, kick off my shoes, put my feet up, lean back, and just enjoy the view. Hold on, I need a body to do most of that stuff, fuck it.”
Suddenly, a bolt of green lightning struck the blue Junpei, and another bolt struck the yellow Junpei. When the smoke cleared, the blue Junpei was snuggling with Izumi, and the yellow Junpei was fighting Kouji. Evidently, the Junpeis didn’t like their switch. The blue Junpei broke away from Izumi and stood up. The yellow Junpei tried to reason with Kouji, and he took an underhanded gut punch for his efforts.
“I liked it better the way you had it before; can’t you guys switch back?” Junpei asked his clones.
The yellow Junpei didn’t hear the original, because the original didn’t have a mouth. The human lemon put up no resistance, and Kouji proceeded to squeeze his neck with a two-handed choke.
“Why are you attacking me?” the yellow Junpei managed to ask before he ran out of spare air for speaking.
“I was given my orders,” Kouji answered. “Yet, I am one who acts alone. I’ll ensure that nobody wins when it’s done.”
The blue Junpei didn’t hear the original, and he wouldn’t have heeded him if he’d heard him. He unzipped his solid blue jumpsuit and took his wood out of his briefs.
“It’s about damn time,” Izumi said. She took off her skirt and panties, and she lay down on her back.
“I know your legs are open wide, so you’re a little on the game side,” the blue Junpei noticed.
“Yeah, I’m ready to fuck. What’s wrong with that?” Izumi prompted.
“Your one vice is you’re too enticed. I want you sad.” The blue Junpei quickly dropped down and straddled Izumi’s abdomen.
“You still can’t get it right,” Izumi told the blue Junpei. “You missed the target, and you’re crushing me.”
“You know, you’re right, but I got a bad habit, and it’s not going away.” The blue Junpei gave Izumi a backhanded slap across her cheek.
“What the fuck was that for?” Izumi asked angrily.
The blue Junpei didn’t reply. He just looked down into Izumi’s eyes and flashed a smile of superiority.
“I didn’t think you’d ever hurt me. I knew everybody else was at risk…the slightest thing and you just might snap…but I thought…you were my protector.” Izumi started to cry, and not over the slap’s pain. “Love for life, such noble words for noble minds. Show me a love for life; I’ll be waiting.”
“The kids aren’t alright, and that’s an understatement,” Junpei noted. “This dream started off so well, but now the chances are thrown, nothing’s free, and I’m longing for what used to be. That uncaring bastard just broke Izumi’s fragile life, and now it’s a shattered dream.”
“I have to take him out. I can’t let that sadistic doppelganger frame me and ruin everything that I worked for. All I’ve saved will be thrown away. For all the rising and falling, they’ll be nothing to show. I can’t take action without a body. Those lightning bolts started this problem when they caused the position switch. It could be risky…no, this is my dream. I say that getting struck by lightning will give me a body. I am waiting for the moment that the sky will strike.” Nothing happened. “Soon, I will start to smash with a flash of light.” Nothing happened. “I look to the stars and ask, ‘Why?’ If they could just show these wounds how to heal, my relationship with Izumi would be cool again.” Nothing happened. “Hope is fading now, gone forever. It’s a waste of time.” A bolt of green lightning struck Junpei’s subconscious mind, forming a body around it. “Hey, I got my body, but this isn’t my usual jumpsuit. This outfit is a solid color, like the ones those clones are wearing. I got the green version; I look pretty good in it. Oh yeah, I have to save Izumi from the blue me,” Junpei remembered. “Then I should save the yellow me from Kouji. I hope I’m not too late. I’ve taken all I can stand. Now I am running a race against myself.”
When we’re ready to sing, we step up to the microphones, and it comes out something like this.
The blue Junpei stood up, releasing Izumi from the burden of his weight.
Izumi closed her legs and rubbed her sore midsection. “I don’t want this anymore. It’s time for me to close the door. There’s nothing left to feel.”
“I don’t care what you want,” the blue Junpei responded. “Now turn over, bitch. Dog eat dog, every day, on a helpless girl I prey. Dog eat dog, so let’s do it doggy style.”
“There’s someone around you, just a step behind,” Izumi warned the blue Junpei.
“Yeah right, like I’m really going to fall for that.” Then the blue Junpei felt his legs being yanked out from under him. He would’ve fallen face first, but he braced the impact with his hands.
Junpei had the right leg of the blue Junpei under his right arm, and the blue Junpei’s left leg under his left arm. He stepped across and turned the blue Junpei over, preparing for the “Defibrillator Charge”. “Don’t fuck with Izumi, because now I will fuck with you!”
The blue Junpei snagged each of Junpei’s legs at the ankles, and Junpei tripped and fell on his back. The blue Junpei put his dick back into his briefs and stood up. “You were trying to save the bitch? You’re no fucking hero. You should just try to survive yourself.”
Junpei got to his feet. “You may push me around, but you cannot win. You may throw me down, but I’ll rise again. Not only will I survive, I’ll blow you away. You’re going to fall to me.” Junpei charged the blue Junpei.
The blue Junpei sidestepped the charge, but he dropped to his knees when an elbow hit him in the back of his head. “What hit me?”
“I did, you stupid dumb shit goddamn mother fucker,” Izumi answered.
“Yeah, that’s the girl I love. Man, she’s got issues, but that’s part of why I love her,” Junpei said to himself. “Izumi, are you alright?”
“I’m fine, but why should I trust you?” Izumi inquired.
“Hey, I’m the real Junpei; that other guy was a poser. Let me put it this way, will you trust the guy who assaulted you, or the guy who saved you?” Junpei moved in for a hug, and Izumi gave it to him. “I guess you answered that question. I know you have a concussion, but still, if you believe in love, there’s nothing wrong with your head.”
Izumi nodded. “Yeah, only the real Junpei would say that.”
“Don’t celebrate yet,” Kouji told the happy couple. “This battle is only beginning. I choked out that yellow fellow. Now my sparring partner and I will take you out. Your misery in life is your ecstasy in death.”
The blue Junpei rose and stood next to his partner. “I’m going to break you, and never stop hunting, making nothing from something.”
“We are strong; we are right. We will fight; we will not compromise. We will never lose to you. You cannot stop us; you cannot bring us down. We’ll never give up; we go on and on. You’ll never break us, never bring us down. We’ll stay alive!” Junpei exclaimed defiantly.
Izumi was somewhat confused by Junpei’s choice of pronoun. “Huh, you expect me to fight with you?”
“We are one; we are free. We are headed for a victory. Just follow my way and come out swinging, never alone again. Pain inside can guide your way, so use your headache as fuel,” Junpei advised. “Now let’s tag team the double header. You’ll fly like a butterfly, and I’ll sting like a beetle.”
“You fucking retard, beetles don’t sting,” the blue Junpei commented. Immediately after making his observation, he sidestepped another charge from Junpei. Once again, he lost track of Izumi, and she caught him in the back of his knees with a chop block. The blue Junpei hit the ground, and he began rolling around while clutching his knees.
Junpei marveled at his fiancée’s injuring abilities. “Did I tell you today how much I love you?”
“Yeah, but you can tell me again,” Izumi replied.
“Izumi…duck!” Junpei shouted.
Izumi dropped just in time to avoid a punch to the back of her head from Kouji. While she was down, she grabbed Kouji’s legs, holding him in place.
“Here alone, I’ll put up and fight. Kick her when she’s down? It would be my pleasure.” Kouji pulled back for a downward punch to Izumi’s head. “You’re set for suffering, but maybe you’ll get born again.”
Junpei saw what Kouji was attempting, and it pushed him into his homicidal mode. “When my anger grows, I’ll use it to win.” Junpei charged Kouji at a seemingly superhuman speed. He threw a running left hook punch with a fully extended arm, a clothesline. He caught Kouji under the chin with his forearm, and since Izumi had Kouji immobilized, Kouji was decapitated. Junpei ran several steps past Kouji’s body on the follow-through. “You know I got no brakes, and Kouji has no head. Beheaded…watch him spurt like a garden hose.” Junpei examined the green jumpsuit which was exclusive to his dream. “Beheaded…bloody mess all over my clothes. Man, even in my dreams, I can’t seem to avoid bloodstains. I guess Kouji has it worse; he can’t seem to avoid getting his head knocked off.”
The blue Junpei began to gingerly stand up. It took so much concentration for him to overcome the pain in his knees, that he didn’t even notice Junpei and Izumi sneaking up behind him.
“Do you remember the move I used on Angewomon, the ‘Eye Of The Tiger’?” Izumi squatted down and tucked her head under the blue Junpei’s right arm.
“I remember; you need my help to lift him, right?” Junpei squatted down and tucked his head under the blue Junpei’s left arm. He wrapped his right arm around the blue Junpei’s torso, and Izumi did likewise with her left arm. Junpei’s left arm reached behind the blue Junpei’s left knee and began lifting, and Izumi’s right arm did likewise with the blue Junpei’s right leg. With a good deal of effort, the blue Junpei was elevated onto a spot that enveloped Junpei’s right shoulder and Izumi’s left shoulder.
“I just realized; we can’t pivot into each other, so we can’t finish the move,” Izumi noted.
“This is a fucked up thing we do, a nightmare come true, or a playground if we choose, and I choose to drop him on his head. Does that sound good to you?” Junpei asked Izumi.
“I like that plan, but let’s ask our victim how he feels about it.” Izumi looked up at the blue Junpei for a response.
“I think you’re both fucking insane,” the blue Junpei told his carriers.
“Yeah, let’s drop him on his head.” Izumi threw the leg she was holding over her shoulder, and Junpei did likewise.
The blue Junpei braced himself for the impact by covering his head with his arms. After he landed, he fell onto his stomach.
“Hey, we flipped him over, so what comes next?” Junpei inquired.
“When we started this fight, I couldn’t defend. One more time, and damn it, I changed again. Now, can you give me a boost?” Izumi took a few steps back for a running start while Junpei kneeled down and put his arms together for a springboard. Izumi ran, stepped on and leaped off of Junpei’s arms, and landed in a double elbow drop (both elbows) on the blue Junpei’s back. “You remember my ‘Flying Double Elbow Drop’?”
“Of
course, but that’s enough tenderizing.
It’s time to finish this sack of rotten me.” Junpei grabbed the
blue Junpei’s legs and took him into a standing
“No, nobody deserves to die!” The yellow Junpei had regained consciousness, and he had a message to deliver. “Buddy, your never ending spree of death, violence, and hate is going to tie your own rope. The noose is falling, and enemies are rising, because for every man you kill, another man will avenge him.”
“I believe it’s my given right to destroy everyone in my sight. It never gets dull, and it never gets old. Just like the L.A.P.D, I’ll beat whoever I see, and I don’t need a reason. So, you want to avenge this asshole?” Junpei questioned. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Um, you’re missing the point. What comes around, well, it goes around. Nothing changes because it’s all the same. The world you get is the one you give away. When all is said and done, does it really matter who’s wrong or right? Don’t ask me for a reason. I can’t explain why you guys hurt one another again and again. It’s a way of life you need to get over. All the rage just eats you alive. Can you leave it behind? Well, if you tried, maybe you’d see; it would do a little good to let the world be free.” With his speech concluded, the yellow Junpei waited for Junpei’s response.
Junpei released the blue Junpei’s legs. “I see it; man, that was beautiful. I’m going to reconsider…yeah…I think there’s something more productive that three Junpeis can do together. Izumi, if you want that orgy, this is the only way it’s happening. I won’t have sex that involves another guy, but this can be rationalized as masturbation.”
“This is something that I’ve fantasized about for a long time, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, you don’t have to do it,” Izumi told Junpei.
The real Junpei had only one priority. “If it makes you happy, then your dream is my dream.”
Mmmm, I especially enjoyed that one. Let’s see what’s next.
Junpei helped the blue Junpei to his feet. “You have a choice. I can finish you off, or you can party with us. Swallow your pride, or swallow your blood, because I got a bad habit of causing internal bleeding.”
The blue Junpei was still feeling the effects of being dropped on his head. “I’ve got the worst hangover ever, and I didn’t even drink anything. Won’t someone just kill me? Put me out of my misery. It hurts so bad that I’m never going to fight again. I’ll probably never fight again. I may not ever fight again, at least not until the next dream sequence. I’m never going to fight again.”
“Shut up, and take it like a man,” Izumi told the blue Junpei. “You need us to get a life. For your own good, we’ll take you by the hand, because you need a little score. I remember what you wanted.” Izumi turned around and bent over for the blue Junpei. “I know you want to hit that.”
Junpei was already starting to get jealous. “Consequences are a lot, but hey, that’s the way it…that’s the way things go. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right? Yeah, I can’t deny her; that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go,” Junpei told himself.
The green, blue, and yellow jumpsuits were unzipped, and the three Junpeis pulled their members out of their briefs.
Izumi stared at the Junpeis’ packages for several seconds. “I feel like a kid in a candy store. It’s my favorite candy, Prickers bars. Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Prickers. Alright, here’s how this is going down. As promised, the blue Junpei gets my ass. The yellow Junpei gets my mouth. The ultimate privilege is reserved for the true Junpei. You get to bust out on it, original Junpei. Break me, yeah.”
“It seems like I was on my back for something similar not too long ago, but here I go again.” Junpei lay down and awaited Izumi’s landing. “Our little flings never seem to end. I know where I’ll be, I’ll make this confession, back on the ground for another session.”
Izumi stood over Junpei, straddling him at the hips. Then she dropped to her knees. She slowly fell forward, moving her entrance ever closer to Junpei’s erect rod. Just as she was about to experience that wonderful moment, she felt something knocking on her backdoor. “Don’t even think about it! You have to lube it first. As a Junpei, you should enjoy anything that involves food, so you shouldn’t mind tossing my salad,” Izumi told the blue Junpei.
The blue Junpei saw a problem with Izumi’s request. “What the fuck am I supposed to toss it with?”
The yellow Junpei had the answer, “Um, your mouth.”
Naturally, the blue Junpei was irritated by the yellow Junpei’s retort. “When I said that I wouldn’t fight again, I didn’t mean with you.”
“Hey, I thought we all agreed to stop hating each other,” Junpei remarked.
The blue Junpei took the opportunity to reveal his mindset. “It’s cool to hate. I don’t like nothing, and I like that fine. I hate everything; I even hate you too, so fuck you.”
“Put your tongue in my ass so I don’t have to listen to it anymore,” Izumi commanded.
The blue Junpei stuck his nose between Izumi’s butt cheeks. “You know, it smells like shit, goddamn.” He removed his nose, moved his face up, and jammed his tongue into the orifice. He did his job well, moistening Izumi’s tender tissue like a tube of Preparation H. It wasn’t long before Izumi’s entire sludge factory was covered with a layer of spit.
“Now that he’s settled, I might as well get you taken care of before I get back to my own needs.” Izumi motioned for the yellow Junpei to bring his dick to her face.
Junpei wasn’t too thrilled when he saw the yellow Junpei standing over him, straddling his face. “Hey, I think your thing is smaller than mine. If you don’t rate, just overcompensate.”
“Buddy, I’m a clone. I’m pretty sure we’re the same size.” The yellow Junpei gasped as he felt Izumi’s mouth surrounding the body part in question. “At least, I think I’m a clone now.”
Izumi put her palms on Junpei’s chest and straightened her elbows to get the necessary height for the blowjob.
“I don’t mind supporting you, but why don’t you get a job? I’m just kidding, but hey, you could put some of your weight on my crotch instead of my chest,” Junpei suggested.
Izumi couldn’t reply verbally. Nonetheless, she started to lower herself onto Junpei’s spear. She got herself about a third of the way impaled before she was pulled back up by the blue Junpei. Three seconds later, she was having a complete anal invasion courtesy of the blue Junpei’s flesh probe.
“Take it, bitch.” The blue Junpei pulled back for his first thrust.
“Man, you can’t talk to her like that.” Junpei pulled Izumi down, freeing her ass and filling her cunt. He groaned as he relished in the sudden tightness. “Wasn’t there supposed to be a hymen?” Junpei wondered. “Oh yeah, it’s just a dream. For the real thing, I’ll go slower, a lot slower.”
The blue Junpei tried to pull Izumi back up, but Junpei was holding her in place. A tug-of-war immediately ensued. Each Junpei tried to get more of Izumi’s lower half around his dick.
Izumi removed the yellow Junpei’s cock from her mouth. “If you boys can’t learn to share, we can stop right now. Can you cooperate on this?”
“Yeah, I’ll try for you,” Junpei answered.
“Whatever,” the blue Junpei answered.
“Um, I was cooperating,” the yellow Junpei answered.
“No shit, I wasn’t talking to you,” Izumi told the yellow Junpei. “Alright Junpeis, let’s get it right this time.” Izumi’s mouth resumed its pleasuring of the yellow Junpei.
“If you kneel down to our level, we’ll both be able to fill our respective holes,” Junpei told the blue Junpei.
“I’m not taking orders from you. That fight was two against one; it wasn’t fair,” the blue Junpei complained.
“The fight was irrelevant; man, you’ve got issues. I know that you’re messed up; I know that your whole life is a chore.” Junpei could give the blue Junpei one good reason to obey. “However, this is my dream…and quite possibly Izumi’s too. So just do me a favor, and check your baggage at the door.”
The blue Junpei silently dropped his body lower. He began his thrusting, trying to build up speed, but he was impeded. His new position prevented him from getting the power that he wanted behind his thrusts, and Izumi’s sphincter was squeezing him too tightly. “This is not what I intended. I wanted to fuck that ass hard. Never mind, I’ll still shoot my cream in the end.”
“You gave Izumi a rim job; for your pun, I’d give you a rim shot, but I’d need some drums.” Junpei realized that nobody cared what he said, and for good reason. He began the process of lifting Izumi’s body up and pulling it back down, the process that he called “killer fornication”. He could feel his foreskin being massaged back and forth over his entire length by Izumi’s vaginal walls, and of course, it felt good. Actually, it wasn’t quite the entire length. For some reason, he felt like his head wasn’t touching anything.
The yellow Junpei knew that his dickhead was touching something, and that something was Izumi’s tongue. He felt it licking all around his head, lighting the torch of his pre-ejaculate. He only had two of his inches in her mouth, but it was more than enough for him. It was more than he could handle. “Buddy, I’m going to blow!” He grabbed Izumi’s hair and fired a scorching load into her mouth.
Junpei realized that his position left him vulnerable. “This is why I never stand under birds; I hate the white stuff. Izumi, for my sake, please swallow. I don’t want to get hit with that shit.”
Izumi swallowed, but not because Junpei asked her to. She had every intention of swallowing; she liked the white stuff. She gulped down all of the yellow Junpei’s big spurts. Then she used her tongue to draw out his smaller spurts, and she swallowed those. In total, she was swallowing and licking clean for nearly three minutes, truly making the most of his orgasm.
The yellow Junpei took back his extinguished candle, moved a few steps away from the action, and took a seat. “They’ll find me sitting by myself; I’m no longer a part of this. Who am I kidding? They’re never going to find me. Way down deep inside, they haven’t found me yet.”
The blue Junpei was pushing his pelvis with everything he had, but it wasn’t doing enough for his taste, and he was getting frustrated. “I’m not allowed to pull Izumi up because it will separate her from Junpei,” he reminded himself. “I need to improve my position; what if I pulled them both up? They never said I couldn’t do that.” He grabbed Junpei’s left leg under his right arm, and he grabbed Junpei’s right leg under his left arm. He stood up, taking Junpei’s lower body, and consequently Izumi’s, up at an angle (approximately 45°). He started pumping in and out of Izumi’s ass, using Junpei’s legs as his thrusting base. He could tell that her asshole didn’t want him there. It was trying to choke the life out of his cock. After twelve years of pushing out logs, taking in some wood was an unwelcome change. “It’s so tight that it’s hurting me, but that means that it must be hurting her too, so I’m satisfied.”
“This anal stuff isn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be,” Izumi said to herself. “I’ll bet I’m supposed to be older. Yeah, I should’ve waited until I grew a bigger number two hole. At least the action in my number zero hole feels pretty good. It’s helping me to forget about the other side. The real Junpei takes away my pain; he never lets me down.”
“Having my legs up like this isn’t really detrimental to my process,” Junpei realized as he saw himself lifting Izumi sideways. “Still, I wish he’d asked me before he did it, or at least given me a warning.”
The blue Junpei’s repeating enema treatment was reaching its conclusion. As he sensed the load building within, he started to pound Izumi’s ass with every muscle in his body. An observer (namely the yellow Junpei) would’ve seen the motion as a thing of beauty, something that only a finely tuned machine could perform. It wasn’t so pretty for Izumi’s rectum. It was sore, and it would only find a little relief as the blue Junpei began the colonic irrigation. “I like it; I’m filling her crack.” He kept screwing until his flesh bulb ran out of juice. Then he pulled out, dropped Junpei’s legs, and sat down next to the yellow Junpei.
The blue Junpei and the yellow Junpei glanced downward at each other (just to compare size), and then they tucked their junk and zipped up their jumpsuits.
“That was impressive…I mean, your performance was impressive,” the yellow Junpei told the blue Junpei.
“No, I failed; she didn’t cry,” the blue Junpei replied. “I wish I was like you, easily amused. I think you’re dumb.”
“Sticks and stones can break them bones, but your words can’t get me stoned,” the yellow Junpei retorted. “Besides, I don’t think I’m dumb. I think I think too much, but I don’t care.”
“Are you talking back to me?” the blue Junpei questioned.
“I got to keep them separated,” Junpei told himself. “Hold on…if they took each other out…that would leave just me and Izumi. Speaking of which, we’re the only ones who haven’t launched our geysers. It’s time for us to get off springs.”
Hey, that’s something everyone can enjoy.
Junpei had been powering Izumi up and down on his rod for over fifteen minutes. Of course, it was intermittent due to some distractions, but those distractions had recently taken themselves out of the picture. He sat up and looked into Izumi’s eyes. “When we wrote this story, how did it end? It was you and me for all our lives. It’s only appropriate that we finish this together, just the two of us, the survivors. Unfortunately, I think we’re stuck with the audience.”
Izumi noticed that the blue Junpei and the yellow Junpei were watching. “So what if we’re making a scene? I don’t give a shit. It’s all good and it’s not going to change now; the world is unaware. If they want, they can go and stare. You know me, Junpei. You know that I’m not like most girls. Most girls are prissy and proper, and they rarely show their true nature. They can’t take what they want. When I realized what I wanted, I made the first move. They have to maintain their decorum. I readily accepted the boy who was killing in the name of me. They’re not supposed to get involved in fights. I can smash with the best of them. I just want to be who I want to be. I guess that’s hard for others to see. I’m not a trendy asshole. I do what I want; I do what I feel like.”
“You know my story; I understand perfectly,” Junpei said. “Head over heels, I’ve tried to fit in. Now I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve held it all in with blood on my face. I built it up, man, so bad I could taste it. No, that was something else. That was when I bit my lip on your first blowjob.”
“What makes you so sure that it was my first?” Izumi couldn’t resist the opportunity to torture Junpei. His insecurity was so tempting. “After all, I sucked off your clone like a true professional.”
Finally getting his dick into Izumi’s slit had given Junpei some self esteem. “I’m not the one who acted like a tramp. Why must I be the one who has to know? Spare me the details, if you don’t mind. Now let’s resume the big dumb sex. I know what to do. I’m going to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you.” Since he was sitting up, he was able to put Izumi on her back by grabbing the backs of her thighs. Then he moved his hands down to the backs of her knees. He pushed her along the ground, away from him. He pulled her along the ground, towards him. He repeated the process and built up speed. As he promised, he was fucking her.
“Oh…oh…oh…yeah,” Izumi moaned. Junpei’s meat was stroking her deep end, stimulating her vaginal walls. The Prickers bar was being devoured by Izumi’s snatch, and it was hungry for more. In fact, it had only begun to salivate. Junpei’s taut skin felt smooth, like milk chocolate. His erect tissue had a delightfully hard texture, like peanuts. His heat was flowing into Izumi, like caramel. It satisfied. “Ah…ah…ah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yes!” Izumi had her climax, but her snack wasn’t finished. “Yes…yes…yes…yes…give it to me, baby!” Her orgasm lasted for four minutes. The first minute was spent in the heights of ecstasy, and the second three were aftershocks brought on by Junpei’s unyielding push and pull. Of course, after she was done, Izumi no longer needed Junpei’s services. “That was awesome, but you can stop now if you want.”
“I never want to stop now, stop now…I need some more time.” Junpei started his explanation with a romantic tone, but he dropped it.
“You didn’t have your orgasm?” Izumi questioned.
“Although I tried, I couldn’t get my head around you. It’s kind of hard to get off when your head isn’t touching anything,” Junpei explained. “Don’t ask me why it wasn’t touching; I don’t have a clue. You got yours; that’s what’s important. I’ll just pull out and end on a hard note.”
Izumi loved Junpei too much to let him leave. “There was a time when I was looking through myself, wanting to pretend that there was a reason why I couldn’t accept you. I thought if I escaped with Kouichi, I could fill myself. That hole inside never really leaves. I had to find that path alone. Crossroads led me to you, and you filled my hole. Now I just want to know what’s home. You already know; you’re there, down in a hole. I insist that you keep digging, and don’t stop until you hit the mother load.”
“Man, that was like one of my metaphors,” Junpei commented. “I think I’m rubbing off on you…or in you.” Junpei resumed sliding Izumi on the grass. He didn’t like having to push her away, but it was worth it to pull her back. His head still wasn’t feeling anything, but after a few minutes, the hold on his shaft was enough. He unloaded his nougat into Izumi. “Now that our springs have boiled over and bathed us, it’s time for the best part.” Junpei brought his hands up to Izumi’s back and pulled her body against his. Then he dropped to his left side, taking Izumi with him. “Now I could lie by your side, all serrated for you. Fuck the serrations; I’m not a knife man. I’m a spoon man.” A contented smile appeared on Junpei’s face. “My dream has come true. My vision has come true. Yeah, it’s all coming true.” It was what he’d longed for, but he wasn’t there for very long. He felt his hair being pulled. He felt his legs being forced to stand. He felt his body being pulled from Izumi’s. He looked down at her with tears in his eyes, “A million miles away.”
The blue Junpei pulled up Junpei by his hair until they were face to face. “Look at me while I look at you. Seeing eye to eye is something we can never do.”
“You’d better have a damn good reason for pulling me away from that.” Junpei put away his tool and zipped up his jumpsuit. “Do you have any idea how badly I wanted that? Do you know how long I waited? I fell on black days by the hundreds.”
“I have a reason; you were done with her. Now it’s my turn to get a piece of you,” the blue Junpei explained.
Junpei was almost flattered. “Hey, I come out swinging, but I don’t swing that way.”
“You fucking cow, I want to kick your ass, and that’s all that I want to do to it,” the blue Junpei clarified. “I want a fair fight this time, no more double teaming, no more sneaking up behind me, and no more kicking me when I’m down.”
“Actually, that was a ‘Flying Double Elbow Drop’.” Realizing that the cuddling mood was dead, Izumi stood up. “You’re an idiot for wanting a rematch. Obviously, you don’t know your enemy. He’ll R.I.P. a Mike, R.I.P. a Dave, R.I.P. your sister. He was born to rage against them.”
“I don’t have a sister, and nothing you say can make me afraid.” The blue Junpei shoved Junpei back to get some initial distance between them. Then he addressed his opponent. “I no longer want to kill you. You lasted longer than me with the girl, and I respect that ability. Still, the two of you bossed me around, and I don’t appreciate that. Back off your rules, and back off your jive. I just don’t want to be controlled; that’s all I want. In order to get it, I have to beat you in a fight. Unless I prove that I’m better than you, you’ll always have authority over me. On your own, you’re no match for me, but losing might feel okay.”
“I wouldn’t know; I’ve never lost,” Junpei shot back. “Since this is your fight, I’ll let you make the winning conditions.”
It just so happened that the blue Junpei had a particular ending in mind. “The first person on his back is the loser.”
Junpei got into his starting stance, ready to spring for his charge. “All my will, all my strength, I’ll whip it out and start again.” Junpei launched himself towards the blue Junpei.
The blue Junpei easily sidestepped the charge and looked to hit a backside attack, but Junpei was already out of range. “He kept going despite coming up empty,” the blue Junpei realized. “That’s a good strategy. He’ll keep charging until he hits something, but I know something that he doesn’t want to hit.” The blue Junpei positioned himself several feet in front of Izumi. “Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be. Come on over, and shoot the shit.”
Junpei charged again, and again the blue Junpei dodged it, but this time, Junpei couldn’t continue his momentum. He skidded to a stop in front of Izumi. Their near collision was an awkward situation. “Hey, how’s it going?” Then he felt his heels getting hit with a karate sweep. He was falling backwards. “I guess I lost.” Then he stopped falling, because Izumi had grabbed his wrists.
“Chained to the dream, you got me searching for the thin line between entertainment and war. So, I guess we’re all just soldiers, but I’ll make sure that nobody can say that Izumi lost the war.” Izumi left her feet in a baseball slide that went between Junpei’s legs.
The seesaw effect sent Junpei back into a stable standing position. “I’m up on my feet again.” He looked behind his back. He saw the blue Junpei rising from the sweep position. “This is the perfect time for a shuffle side kick, but I’d have to step on Izumi to do it,” Junpei thought. “It’s risky, but I think I know an alternate way.” Junpei pivoted counterclockwise on his left foot 180°, stepping over Izumi’s body. He stepped forward with his right foot, and then he stepped and planted his left foot. He sprung, despite knowing that leaving his feet left him vulnerable if he missed.
The blue Junpei avoided Junpei’s lethal left arm and shoulder by turning to the side. Then he brought his right fist down to punch Junpei in the back of the head, but his right wrist was snagged by Junpei’s left hand. Then he felt Junpei’s right arm sneaking between his legs and behind his right thigh. He didn’t figure it out until his feet were no longer touching the ground. “How the fuck can you pick me up? We’re the same size, adult large.”
“All things are possible with a fireman carry,” Junpei answered. “Now it’s time for a move that I like to call the ‘Shibayama Slam’.” Junpei shifted his right hand to the front of the blue Junpei’s right leg, quickly pushed up on it, and flipped the blue Junpei onto the ground (back first, of course). “Hey Deep Blue, that’s checkmate, watch machine die.”
“You guys agreed not to kill each other!” the yellow Junpei reminded Junpei.
“Would you relax? It was just a figure of speech. Besides, I killed his pride, and that’s enough for me.” A smile of superiority appeared on Junpei’s face.
“I happen to be quite good at relaxing. I’ve got a method; don’t you know what I mean?” The yellow Junpei noticed that the blue Junpei was still on his back. “You certainly fucked him up. It looked like an awfully hard landing. That’s why you’re the Big Bang Baby; your impact is explosive.”
“You don’t have to suck up to me; I probably won’t hurt you,” Junpei told the yellow Junpei.
The blue Junpei finally regained his verticality. “Now I have a headache and a backache.”
“What you say? What you say? What you say? What?” Izumi asked rhetorically. “You’re the one who wanted a rematch. Heaven knows it’s like playing with fire. Burn, burn, yeah, you’re going to burn every time.”
“Speaking of burning, I think that’s what I’m going to do. Does anybody want to join me?” the yellow Junpei asked. He reached into his jumpsuit and pulled out a bag of “herbs”. “We might as well just smoke it all, and live like there is no tomorrow.”
“That’s a contorted definition of ‘nitro’. As of now, I bet you got it wrong, Izumi.” Junpei pointed at the yellow Junpei. “He’s the one who’s playing with fire. Deep Blue was fucking with electricity, which is just as dangerous. I didn’t burn him; I fried his circuits. I am the lightning rod.”
Suddenly, two bolts of green lightning plummeted from the sky. One hit the blue Junpei, and the other hit the yellow Junpei.
“I’m looking to the sky, and I don’t see any clouds. Where are those things coming from?” Izumi asked.
“I threw them,” a voice from the sky answered.
The lightning bolts didn’t cause a position switch this time. Rather, they caused a complete appearance change in each of the Junpei clones. The blue Junpei received Kouji’s body and clothes, and the yellow Junpei got Takuya’s.
“Hey Deep Blue, what’s with the Kouji body?” Junpei asked the blue Junpei.
“You fucking retard, I am Kouji,” Kouji replied.
A puzzled expression appeared on Junpei’s face, but eventually, he figured it out. “All along, I guess I should’ve known. It was there in the words you used.” Junpei looked towards the yellow Junpei. “So you’re actually Takuya?”
“That’s right, buddy,” Takuya replied.
“Hold on, you guys are dead,” Junpei remembered.
“You’re right, and that makes Izumi a necrophiliac.” Kouji forced himself to chuckle. “It’s a fucking dream; talking dead people and clones are within reason.”
“Alright, but if you’re Kouji, then who did I decapitate?” Junpei inquired.
“Allow me to clear that up, The Offspring Lightning!” The voice in the sky called out his attack, and a bolt of green lightning struck the headless Kouji.
The headless Kouji’s body stayed the same, but his clothes changed. White pants, a maroon shirt, and a green vest, it was Kouichi.
“I guess that makes sense. He had the spirit of darkness, and in my horror movie scenario, the black guy always dies first,” Junpei joked.
The most insulting person, the human raspberry, was the only one who was offended by Junpei’s observation. “You’ve already killed him twice. Could you please leave him alone? I’m not asking a lot,” Kouji insisted. “I imagine beating on your face, but I’m trying to forget my feelings of hate, because I don’t want to lose another fight.”
“Um, don’t you guys care about the cause of this lightning, or is it raining in your bedroom?” Takuya realized that his rhetorical question needed some clarification. “Targeted green lightning on command is not normal weather.”
“Would you prefer if it rained locusts? I can do that too,” the voice in the sky said.
“Yeah right, and I’m anemic royalty. Just tell us who you are and what you want,” Kouji demanded.
“Have you ever felt like there was more, like someone else was keeping score? You can think of me as the scorekeeper digimon.” The voice in the sky changed his mind. “Actually, I’m much more than a scorekeeper. I make the game and its rules, I pick the players for the teams, and when necessary, I play the referee. My name is Wisemon.”
Welcome to intermission. Yeah, intermission…ahhhh…ahhhh.
As usual, Kouji didn’t care. “I never met a Wisemon, but if your introduction is over, can you speak your shit already? Here we are now; entertain us.”
“You’ll have to excuse Kouji,” Takuya told Wisemon apologetically. “He lost his mother, his brother, and his fractal code. Also, his girlfriend was a total bitch, and his life was meaningless.”
“Whatever, at least I’m not a premature ejaculator,” Kouji shot back.
“You were dead when that happened. How did you find out?” Takuya wondered.
“Shut up, you talk too much,” Wisemon scolded Takuya and Kouji. “Pay me some respect, or you’ll find yourselves back in your corpses faster than you can say, ‘Cochise’.”
“It might help if we could see you,” Izumi suggested. “Kids our age tend to ignore what isn’t in our face. Wisemon, why stand on a silent platform?”
“Very well, I will appear to you as your spirit animals,” Wisemon said.
“Um, we already have spirit animals; they’re the digimon that we become,” Takuya noted.
“Look, it’s either spirit animals or a burning bush. I think you’ll find the spirit animals more amusing,” Wisemon told the group.
“Spirit animals will be fine.” Since Takuya, Kouji, and Junpei still hadn’t settled their differences, Izumi had decided to take over as the leader. As she expected, Takuya and Kouji didn’t notice it, and Junpei didn’t object to it.
“Spirit animals it is, The Offspring Lightning!” Wisemon threw five green bolts, one in front of each legendary warrior.
When the smoke cleared, Junpei was face to face with a green rhinoceros.
Izumi was staring into the eyes of a tiger that was green and blue instead of orange and black, respectively.
Takuya was looking at a chicken, not a live chicken, but rather a golden brown whole roasted chicken. It was miraculously standing on its leg bones like the chickens in Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer” video.
Kouji didn’t see anything. “Where’s my animal?”
“Look down, and look carefully,” Wisemon suggested.
It took him a little while, but Kouji eventually found his spirit animal. It was a blue wasp. “Junpei gets a rhino and I get a fucking wasp? I’m supposed to have a wolf.”
“Like
you said, beetles don’t sting, but you did.
Everyone around you felt your sting, and that’s why you would make a
horrible wolf. The pack would exile you,
and that’s if you’re lucky. Despite your
irritable nature, you were powerless, a slave to your own desire. It was your desire to be the best, and that’s
how a queen could control you. Admit it,
you’re a wasp,” Wisemon told Kouji.
“I’m a wasp, and it stings…and
it stings…your words are so cold.” Kouji remembered what he did the last time he was forced to
realize the truth. “I started out aiming
the rifle at HellDiaboromon. So I made a big mistake to rather see it
point my way? No, my life was nothing
but a denial…a denial…a denial…a denial.
It was meaningless, but ending it wasn’t. Now I can tell you why people die alone. Junpei, the next time
you see Angewomon, give her this message. Now I’m free from what you want. Now I’m free from what you need. Now I’m free from what you are…and I love
myself better than you.”
Junpei couldn’t believe Kouji’s audacity. “First of all, she’s no longer Angewomon. Secondly, how can you expect me to do you a favor after you tried to pummel me and rape Izumi? Now I can tell you why people go insane.”
“Izumi, will you tell her?” Kouji was desperate for a measure of revenge against his overseer. “Please, if it’ll make things even, I’ll let you rape me. Rape me, my friend. You know, even if Junpei hadn’t stopped me, I wouldn’t have gone through with it, but I’ll let you.”
“That’s tempting, but you can’t ask someone to rape you. By definition, it’s no longer rape,” Izumi pointed out. “It’s something you’ll have to die with, the cost of your desire. There is no other pill to take, so swallow the one that made you ill.”
Meanwhile, Kouichi’s spirit animal, a black vulture, had stuck his beak into the hole between Kouichi’s shoulders. He was happily dining on Kouichi’s innards.
“That’s just not right,” Junpei commented. “I broke the piñata, but the vulture’s waiting, so he gets all the goodies.”
“Can you tell me why I have a chicken, and why that chicken is dead and roasted?” Takuya asked Wisemon.
“Duh, you’re a pot smoking coward,” Junpei answered on behalf of Wisemon. “Your spirit animal is the most obvious one.”
“For the last time, I’m not a coward!” Takuya exclaimed. “I just prefer peace and love over violence. Is that really so wrong? Okay, so I didn’t try to fight for what I believed in, but Junpei, you’re a hypocrite. You don’t want to change the world like you say. You’re in it for yourself. If you win, you’ll take your prize and revel in it. It’ll be no different than one of my naked Sundays. Killer, since you aren’t what you say, then you’d better pray. It’s a long way home, and you’ll need every force of goodness on your side.”
“Pray, if you want to pray, if you like to kneel. Hell, you just like to get laid, and that’s your choice, but don’t come over here and piss on my rage like you pissed your pants. Save it, just keep it off my wave. Anyway, who do you think you are?” Junpei asked indignantly. “You’re staring at me like I need to be saved; it’s your Jesus Christ pose. Takuya, glass houses, I’m the rock.”
“Okay, then I’m the paper, and paper covers rock,” Takuya retorted.
There was silence. The stupidity of Takuya’s comeback was awe-inspiring.
“Now do me.” Izumi had to ask Wisemon about her spirit animal quickly, before Junpei made a remark about the way she phrased her demand for a turn. “Why do I have a tiger?”
Junpei tried to answer for Wisemon
again. “It’s because of the food you
make. I love your
Wisemon’s tiger and rhinoceros cracked smiles (the chicken, the wasp, and the vulture couldn’t). “No, that’s not the reason. It’s because Izumi is a fierce carnivore. She hunts her prey with the greatest of ease, and she gets her jaws on the meat faster than you can say, ‘Gasoline’.”
“You’re right, she’s a cock hungry slut,” Kouji agreed.
“Kouji, do you see how I was using innuendo and how you weren’t?” Wisemon asked. “If you had learned some subtlety, people would’ve hated you less.”
“Subtle…I can’t even spell the word,” Kouji pondered. “Never mind, I think I got it right.”
“If you badmouth Izumi again, you’ll be getting it right and left,” Junpei threatened. “Just once more, the slightest thing, and you will set this fucker off.”
Takuya decided to take the complimentary approach. “I changed my mind; Kouji has no excuses that I know. Junpei, there’s nothing wrong with Izumi’s interests. I think they’re perfectly normal and healthy. She was a sour girl the day that she met me, but you managed to get her high on life. You’ve got a great girl who gives great head.” Takuya wanted to take the words back as soon as he said them.
Junpei grinned at Takuya. “She does, doesn’t she?”
Takuya breathed a sigh of relief, but it was cut short by Junpei’s left arm and shoulder exploding into his midsection. Takuya was summarily tackled to the ground. “I probably deserved that.”
Junpei got to his feet, and then he extended his right hand to Takuya. “Hey, I gave you fair warning.”
Takuya was about to take Junpei’s hand, but then he noticed the blue ended fingers. “Buddy, I’m not a doctor, but that doesn’t look right. You should take time with a wounded hand, because it likes to heal.” Takuya got up under his own power.
“Yeah, well, I am a doctor, somewhat, and I’m happy with the burden in my hand,” Junpei responded. “So Wisemon, tell me about the rhino.”
“Stop playing dumb; you already know why it’s a rhinoceros,” Wisemon replied. “So why don’t you tell me?”
Junpei thought about some rhinoceros stereotypes, and then he made his connections. “It’s because I’m large and intimidating, but I’m usually calm. However, when I’m angry, my charge is unstoppable. When it’s over, I’m standing with my enemies hung on my horns, and they don’t like what I got them hanging from. Yeah, I’ve got two bloody hands and a bleeding heart.”
“Well said,” Wisemon commented. “One second, you can be calm like a bomb; the next second, you can blow up the outside world. Put it together, and you’ll know why you’re the exploder. You’ll need that power in the battle to come.”
“What do you mean? I thought JediFrigimon won.” Deep down, Junpei knew that JediFrigimon wouldn’t win, but he was supposed to have faith in his “son”.
The vulture stopped picking at Kouichi’s remains and turned into a basketball sized, floating glass sphere. “Observe the Viewing Globe,” Wisemon directed. The glass showed what was happening around Junpei’s real body.
Tomoki looked up at HellDiaboromon’s menacing form. “I think I’m going down, but no one makes a sound…I’m alone,” Tomoki said to himself. “If I make it, I’d be amazed, just to find tomorrow. One more day, and I’d be amazed, just to see it waiting.” He looked towards Junpei and Izumi’s sleeping bodies, hoping that they would wake up in the next few seconds. He thought he saw Junpei’s eyes opening a crack. “No, I’m still alone, no more hope for better days.”
“Now do you see the light fading while your world is crumbling?” HellDiaboromon asked his intended victim. “All you can do is sit and stare? Why don’t you try to fight me as a human? Either way, you will be damned; make your last stand.”
Tomoki thought about his options. “If I try to fight him, I’ll die. If I don’t, I’ll still die. When in doubt, I’ve always asked myself one question; what would Takuya do? Now I know; he’d fuck himself to death. Hmm, I really don’t want to do that; I’m not a martyr. Come on, Tomoki, get on it; no one’s going to free you. Go on and save yourself, and take it out on them later. How can they sleep at a time like this?” Tomoki gave himself a life extending idea. “HellDiaboromon, you don’t want to kill me.”
“Your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me. Besides, you’re no longer JediFrigimon,” HellDiaboromon reminded Tomoki.
“Uh, I never had that power. You really don’t want to kill me…yet. You want to wait until Junpei wakes up. You want him to witness it.” Tomoki hoped that stroking HellDiaboromon’s mental sadism would work.
“Yes, I want to wait,” HellDiaboromon agreed.
“Now that was clever,” Tomoki told himself. “He came to snuff the Froster, but I’m not going to die…at least, not for a little while.”
So, protect your family.
“Yeah, that’s my boy,” Izumi said with pride. “He shut down the devil’s sound. Now we just need a way to win this Vietnow. Junpei, as soon as you wake up, you’ll have to rally round tha family.”
“It won’t be easy,” Junpei began.
“Of course, nothing is ever easy for you.” Wisemon completed Junpei’s sentence combination.
“Yeah, how did you know?” Junpei realized Wisemon’s true abilities. “You aren’t the rolling wheels; you’re the whole fucking highway. I guess you weren’t joking about being omnipotent. You could probably beat HellDiaboromon yourself.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not omnipotent; I’m only omniscient,” Wisemon replied. “My powers are quite versatile, but they’re still limited. I can only destroy what I create, and I didn’t create HellDiaboromon. I didn’t create you either, but I am the reason that you’re here. I told the original Ophanimon to send some Trailmon to recruit a team of preteens with attitude. You would become the legendary warriors.”
“I’ve always wondered how blood and bone humans can become digital. Can you explain that one?” Junpei requested.
“Very well, but it involves Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, so you’re the only one who’ll understand it,” Wisemon warned. “Open wide and swallow your meaning of life. While in the Trailmon, your bodies were converted into energy, and that energy was sent to the digital world as data. Once you were inside the digital world, your bodies were flawlessly reconfigured into digital flesh. You got skin, blood, bones, nerves, and everything else, exactly the same as in the real world.”
Junpei saw a missed opportunity. “If you wanted to be helpful, you could’ve reconfigured me with a little less data than I started with, maybe fifteen kilograms worth.”
“Actually, I think I understood that mass and energy conversion stuff,” Izumi remarked. “Takuya, did you get it? Takuya…put that out!”
While the others were distracted, Takuya had rolled a joint and begun smoking it. “Ignition, they call it an obsession. I think it’s kind of bitching; I think it’s kind of neat. I want to burn it up. Izumi, don’t cut out my paper heart; I’m already dead. One more trip and I’ll be gone.”
Izumi took pity on Takuya. “Fine, just don’t point it towards me. You know, four out of five kids our age have never even tried…oh that’s right, you pleaded the Fifth.”
“Wisemon, you still haven’t told me how I’m supposed to beat HellDiaboromon. Kouji and Tomoki gave it their best shots with their highest evolutions, and they still couldn’t do it. What do I have to do differently? Show me how to live,” Junpei demanded.
“Can you feel it slip away when it’s all on you? The ones you call your friends are failing you again, and you want to succeed,” Wisemon reviewed. “You’re the magician; just reach into your bag of tricks and pull another one. You’re ready; saving yourself, you’re going to save the world.”
“I get a feeling you’re so vague,” Junpei responded. “I need details. This situation keeps getting worse, just like Stone Temple Pilots’ albums.”
Takuya dropped his hash stick; his anger was finally triggered. “That’s just not true! ‘No. 4’ was their best album, but nobody gave it a chance. I’ll sing the chorus to ‘Glide’, my second favorite song. Keep it coming; I’m going all the way. Keep it coming; I’m going all the way. Just give me half a chance from throwing it all away.”
“Yeah, rhyming ‘way’ with ‘way’ is brilliant,” Junpei commented sarcastically. “I guess I’d have to hear it to appreciate it, right? No one sings like you anymore, but it’s nothing I can’t do. It’s nothing I can’t lick. Like I told Polkamon, my natural singing voice isn’t so great, but my impersonation singing voice is awesome, especially my Chris Cornell.” Junpei turned to Izumi. He gazed into her eyes and belted out his soul. “I’ve given everything I need. I’d give you everything I own. I’d give in if it could at least be ours alone.”
The rhinoceros and the tiger stood on their hind legs to give Junpei applause, and the roasted chicken clapped his drumstick bones together.
If you can do a Chris Cornell impersonation, you ought to be able to do a Kurt Cobain,” Kouji hypothesized.
“Yeah, do you want to hear ‘About A Girl’?” Junpei asked.
“No, you fucking pansy, I don’t want to hear ‘About A Girl’,” Kouji answered.
“You know, I think you have Chris Cornell’s haircut, circa 1995. If you sing me some more, I’ll make it worth your while,” Izumi offered.
“I definitely prefer the Chris Cornell comparison to the Andy Richter one. I’ll sing some more for you; I can’t resist loud love. Here’s an appropriate song from Cornell’s solo album. Little one, don’t be a fool. I’m a wreck when I look mighty. In euphoria I’m bruised. In confusion next I’m lightning. In complacence I am small. Through oblivion I’m charged. So follow my way, when I’m not leading anyone. Open and frayed, when you can see that I’m unsure. Out on my way, I’m only pure when I get lost, and you’re only needing when you’re finding that I’m not.” Junpei was cut off by the rhinoceros’s stomp.
“I’m sorry, but this is neither the time nor the place for a cappella wooing,” Wisemon scolded. “You wanted some more hints? Let’s start with your personality. You need to find your balance. Those ‘clones’ represented your soft side and your hard side. As you probably noticed, they’re too extreme, and I don’t mean that in a good way.”
“I’m too extreme for you, Wiseass? Suck on this, mother fucker.” Kouji stepped on his wasp.
“Buddy, there’s nothing wrong with wanting peace, or the pipes associated with it.” Takuya had forgotten to put out his joint when he dropped it, and his chicken tripped on it and caught fire.
Junpei noticed the downfall of Kouji and Takuya’s spirit animals. Somehow, it seemed symbolic of the way Kouji and Takuya respectively died. “Wisemon, I see what you mean. Takuya, I think your chicken is a little overdone.”
The rhinoceros nodded. “That’s why you’re wearing a green jumpsuit. You need to combine the extremes into one functional entity.” Wisemon began his list of pairs. “You need to be the love and the hate, the sex and the violence, the Athenian and the Spartan, the marijuana and the cocaine, the paper and the scissors, the ixnay and the hombre, the slave and the bulldozer, the entertainment and the war, the garden and the sound, the rage and the machine, the Christian and the Muslim, and the yellow and the blue.”
“Wait a minute, what did you say about Christians and Muslims?” Kouji was hoping to hear something offensive.
“Kouji, let me give you another example of innuendo,” Wisemon proposed. “This is a joke, maybe more like an anecdote, with a secret meaning behind it. A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew go to hell to take on Satan. The Muslim fights the only way he knows how, with a suicide bombing. The Christian shows Satan the path of love, and gets burned alive for his efforts. The Jew, the least powerful of the three, builds weapons from the bones of the Muslim and the Christian. With the help of those weapons, he manages to defeat Satan. Then he celebrates by fucking a Roman.”
“Boys, I think that hit a little too close to home,” Izumi commented. “The ending was nice though. Don’t you agree, Jewnpei?”
“Junpei, you’re going to have to wake up pretty soon. I know you have another question for me,” Wisemon assumed.
“Actually, I think I already figured it out. You wrote Bokomon’s book, didn’t you?” Junpei guessed.
“No offense, but Bokomon is my preferred prophet.” The tiger patted Junpei on the shoulder with one of its front paws. “However, only you have the strength to be my preferred warrior. In return for your service, the world that you’re saving will always be yours.” The tiger started nuzzling at Junpei’s crotch.
“Back off, he’s mine!” Izumi yelled to her spirit animal. “Wisemon, tell it to stop.”
“I’m sorry, but it has a mind of its own, a mind not much different than yours,” Wisemon explained. “Fortunately, the same is true for Junpei’s rhinoceros.” The rhinoceros snuck up behind the tiger and wrapped its front legs around the tiger’s torso.
“Junpei, if you want to keep your dick, jump backwards now,” Izumi advised.
The rhinoceros penetrated the tiger, and Junpei jumped back just in time to avoid the tiger’s bite.
Izumi looked on as the green rhinoceros humped the green and blue tiger. “Seriously, this is pretty fucked up right here. It also looks kind of painful for the tiger. I’ll bet this is where the term ‘jungle fever’ originates.”
The rhinoceros kept going until the tiger fell asleep, and then he pulled out and refocused his attention on Junpei. “Is there anything else that you want to ask me?”
“I’d like some more specific advice on how to beat HellDiaboromon.” As always, Junpei wanted to be prepared. “Please, a strategy, just give me something to believe in.”
“You know what I want? I want to get rid of this rhino’s erection. While I do that, why don’t you ask your friends for some tips?” The rhinoceros noticed that the tiger was sleeping with its mouth open. “Sleeping tigers breathe through their noses, right? Then again, those teeth look pretty sharp. Is this a cure, or is this a disease?”
“If I want fighting advice, I guess I should start with Kouji,” Junpei reasoned aloud.
“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said. I started training in hand-to-hand combat back when I was still in diapers,” Kouji revealed proudly. “The lessons weren’t official until I was housebroken, but learning is learning.”
“Yeah, something still bothers me about that.” It was one of Kouji’s greatest mysteries, and Junpei wanted an answer. “What was the first thing they taught you? I’m guessing that they told you to only use your skills for self-defense.”
“Yeah right, like I was really going to take all of those lessons just to never use them. Some rules were meant to be broken. For example, you told me that life after death was impossible. Nonetheless, here I am. Dead or alive, our little group has always been, and always will, until the end. You found your friends; they’re in your head,” Kouji pointed out. “One more special message to go, and then I’m done, and I can go home. Do you remember what I told you when I pulled the trigger? My advice is the same, but this time, I swear that I don’t have a gun. It might sound fucking retarded, but it’ll make sense later. You know you’re right.”
“Takuya, what do you got for me?” Junpei asked. “Your memory’s gone and so is your life. Do you have a single useful thought left in that fried brain?”
“Buddy, you can’t swallow what I’m thinking,” Takuya couldn’t resist, “but Izumi swallows quite well.” Takuya was tackled instantly.
“I thought you were pulled away before your time, and I couldn’t deal. Now I know why you’ve been taken. Stupid shit like that got you killed. It’s just natural selection.” Junpei’s tone started to soften. “Still, it was never my selection. I want to make it understood…wanting though I never would…trying though I knew it was wrong…blowing it to hell and gone…wishing though I never could. I never wanted to cripple you. I just wanted to get you bruised and bloody, but something overcame me, and I almost went too far.”
“Little boy made a mistake, but I don’t mind. I lost my mind; I can’t find it anywhere. Junpei, we all have problems,” Takuya summarized. “I was planning to fix mine. I was going to start using protection.”
“Yeah, something still bothers me about that.” It was one of Takuya’s greatest mysteries, and Junpei wanted an answer. “If you had unprotected sex with Hazy every Sunday for several months, how did she not get pregnant?”
“How should I know? Your dad is a doctor, and you’re the leader, so you should be able to figure it out,” Takuya assumed.
“Yeah, but you started as the leader; now you’re powerless.” The explanation came to Junpei. “You’re powerless…I’m guessing that you have a low sperm count.”
“You said you were my friend,” Takuya fired back. “Well, I love you anyway. Actually, the four of us, this dream, is this what life and love are all about? I think…I think so. Okay buddy, here’s your tip; it’s all in the suit that you wear.”
“Man, I love you too…like a brother, just so we’re clear,” Junpei followed up. “I mean, I know you’re not gay, but you’re still a pussy. Your chicken, on the other hand, is gay. In fact, he’s flaming,” Junpei joked. “Hey, if you were gay, I wouldn’t treat you any differently. I know what it’s like to lead an alternative lifestyle. Actually, it’s more like an alternating lifestyle, but my current is direct.”
“Izumi, you know this dream will end soon. As much as I hate to leave you, I have to get back to the real Izumi. Just to get back by her side is all I need to be.” Junpei desperately hoped that he wasn’t spending (dreaming) his last peaceful moments with Izumi.
“I’ll see you on the other side,” Izumi replied ambiguously. “I’ll wait for you there, like a stone. We’ll relive the nightmare. Yeah, we’re innocent; the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Okay, mostly yours, but this should help. If you don’t take action now, you settle for nothing later. You’re coming back there with another bombtrack. Bring that shit in; bring it to him with massive militant poetry.” Izumi paused to power up her voice. “Your anger is a gift!”
“Hey guys, thanks for the advice. It might not be enough, but that’s not all that I’m bringing with me into this battle. I’ve got a piece of each of you. Literally, I stole your energy,” Junpei admitted. “I’m giving blood tonight; I feel just like I could give it all. We can bleed together, oh yeah.”
Wisemon’s rhinoceros finished draining into the mouth of the tiger. “Junpei, it’s my turn; follow what I say to do. Don’t turn the other way; you can make it through. Besides, if you walk away, who is going to stay? I’d like to think the world is a better place. It’s nothing new for you; it’s what you’ve always done. ‘Smash’ is the way you feel all alone, like an outcast you’re out on your own. ‘Smash’ is the way you deal with your life, like an outcast you smash in your strife. Knock down the walls-it’s alive in you. Knock down the place-you’re alone; it’s true. Knock down the world-it’s alive in you. You’ve got to keep your head up through it all. If you’re right, you’ll never fear the wrong. If your head is high, you’ll never fear at all. You can do it. You never stop now, stop now…stop now, stop now, that’s what the Wisemon say. Takuya and Kouji were the most powerful warriors, and one would’ve expected the outcome of this final battle to depend on them. That’s why HellDiaboromon thinks he’s already won. That’s why he thinks it’s over now. Do me this favor; show HellDiaboromon, show the world, that there’s an alternate ending.”
“That’s
it? Is that all you got?” Junpei asked with disappointment. “That was inspirational, but I asked for
something specific. I’m going into this
battle blindly. It’s like driving
through
I think you guys should try heavy metal; kiss my ass.
“The kids are gone; we can change back into our real forms,” the rhinoceros announced.
The black vulture Viewing Globe disappeared. The blue wasp became Azulongmon, the guardian of the East. The flaming chicken became Zhuqiaomon, the guardian of the South. The green and blue tiger became Baihumon, the guardian of the West. The green rhinoceros became Xuanwumon, the guardian of the North.
“I can’t believe that mother fucker stepped on me!” Azulongmon exclaimed. “If he weren’t already dead, I would’ve smote his ass.”
“Buddy, you need to calm down,” Zhuqiaomon told Azulongmon. “My kid left his joint. Why don’t you take a hit?”
“Why don’t you go fuck a side order of macaroni and cheese?” Azulongmon retorted.
“Seriously, you two are giving me a headache,” Baihumon interjected. “We need to cooperate; it takes all four of us to summon Wisemon.”
“Listen bitch, we’re letting Xuanwumon be the leader now, but not you,” Azulongmon said. “So unless you’re sucking cock, keep your mouth shut.”
“Azulongmon, if you badmouth Baihumon again, you’ll be getting Black Hail up your ass,” Xuanwumon threatened. “Don’t forget why I’m the leader now. You and Zhuqiaomon told us to trust in your kids. At first, we thought your kids succeeded. It looked like Takato and his gang had beaten the D-Reaper. It was supposed to be no smarter than a calculator when it was sent back to us. Texas Instruments can’t build a calculator that assimilates the Digital World to grow back its body. That thing decimated our Digital World, and then they had to build the digital world to replace it.”
“You’re right, and I don’t want to lose this world too. Your boy better not fail us,” Azulongmon responded.
“That thing we said about only being able to destroy what we create was total bullshit, right?” Baihumon checked.
“Yeah, but the real reason sounds pretty lame,” Xuanwumon explained. “None of us can fit in VerticalTrailmon. We can’t get down there, unless you’re willing to dig a really big hole.”
“I don’t feel like digging a hole.” In truth, Zhuqiaomon didn’t feel like doing anything. “Do you guys feel like digging a hole?”
“I don’t dig holes; I just fuck them…and occasionally smell them,” Azulongmon added.
“Then it’s settled; we’ll let Junpei handle this,” Xuanwumon concluded. “Kouji, Takuya, and Tomoki couldn’t defeat HellDiaboromon, but I think the fourth time is the charm. Yeah, the fourth is always the best.”
There, I hope you enjoyed our time together today. You know, it seems harder and harder to just sit back and enjoy the finer things in life. It’s honestly over this time. I always use one space to separate pieces of the story, and two spaces to separate the story from my comments. This is the first (and probably the last) time that I’ve used two spaces more than twice, actually breaking from the story. Those breaks contained spoken quotes (they weren’t actually parts of real songs, though many were on the same tracks as actual songs) from some of The Offspring’s albums. You probably don’t want an entire list of the songs I quoted from them, but that’s what you’re getting. They’re in the order that they were first quoted. Songs that were quoted more than once have an “x” followed by the number of times they were quoted. Some songs have personal comments in parentheses.
1. “Disclaimer” x2 (Its second
appearance is in one of the breaks), 2. “Come Out And
Play (Keep ‘Em Separated)” x6, 3. “Time To Relax” (It’s the narrator’s first lines on “Smash”; it’s Junpei’s first quote), 4. “Conspiracy Of
One” (A song about a potential terrorist attack that was written in 2000), 5.
“Want You Bad” x2 (the two times are next to each other), 6. “Get
It Right”, 7. “Bad Habit” x4, 8. “I’ll Be
Waiting” (the song from the first album with the most personal meaning, also
The Offspring’s first single), 9. “The Kids Aren’t Alright” (this song gets its
title from a song by The Who), 10. “Lightning Rod” x6 (the first five quotes
are in one spot, and the title quote is towards the end; one of two outstanding
songs on the latest album, and an appropriate song for Junpei),
11. “Race Against Myself” (the other outstanding song
on “Splinter”; I really relate to it), 12. “Intro”, 13.
“Blackball” (the B-side to “I’ll Be Waiting”, and the nickname of the guy who
said the line in the song), 14. “Genocide” x2 (the second quote is from the
narrator), 15. “Gotta Get Away” (Junpei’s fighting song, paranoia with a hint of grunge),
16. “Da Hui”, 17.
“No Hero”, 18. “Defy You” x4 (this song will be quoted
one more time in the next story; it’s the eighteenth track here, and the next
story is also the eighteenth), 19. “Special Delivery”, 20.
“She’s Got Issues” x2, 21. “Me & My Old Lady” x2
(The Offspring’s only real love song; it’s genuine), 22. “Demons”,
23. “Nothing From Something”, 24. “Neocon”, 25. “We Are One”, 26. “Come Out Swinging” x2, 27. “Original Prankster” x8 (my
personal anthem, I’m the lonely class clown who keeps persevering), 28. “Kick
Him When He’s Down” x2 (it’s the best song on
“Ignition”; it’s not just my opinion, it’s the general consensus), 29. “No
Brakes”, 30. “Beheaded” (the 1999 version of this song is a dramatic
improvement), 31. “I Choose”, 32. “Dammit,
I Changed Again”, 33. “The End Of The Line” (also the
name of the final episode of the fourth season), 34. “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” x3 (one of the quotes is a background vocal),
35. “
As
you might’ve guessed, The Offspring are my favorite band. They combine punk, grunge, and metal
musically, and they combine individuality, sorrow, love, politics, and comedy
lyrically. Comedy is my greatest
strength, and my favorite individual artist is “Weird Al” Yankovic. What does “Weird Al” have in common with The
Offspring? Well, it’s only The
Offspring’s lead singer, Bryan “Dexter” Holland, who has a lot in common with
“Weird Al”. Most noticeably, they have
almost the exact same voice (probably because they grew up in the same part of
I’ll
finish talking about the bands, and then I’ll get back to discussing the story. This time, I really did get the last songs as
the last quotes. For Kouichi,
it was Alice In Chains’ “Get Born Again”, the
previously unreleased track on “Nothing Safe: The Best Of The Box”. For Kouji, it was
still Nirvana’s “You Know You’re Right”.
For Takuya, it was Stone Temple Pilots’ “All In The
Suit That You Wear”. For Junpei, it was Soundgarden’s
“Bleed Together”. This song has a hidden
background verse at the end with the line “the head of God on the wall”. Chris Cornell also says, “all
the rage,” as if he foresaw with whom he’d be working five years in the future. For Izumi, and Rage Against
The Machine, I ran into a problem.
Rage didn’t put out a greatest hits album with a previously unreleased
track. However, they did just put out a
live album of their last concert. Coincidentally,
their last concert took place on September 12th and 13th
of 2000, exactly a year before the terrorist attacks. With any other band, it wouldn’t be a big
deal, but we’re talking about the most politically vocal band of all time. Zack De La Rocha is from
I’ll
tell you where the other non-single quotes came from. I only used singles for Alice In Chains and Nirvana.
I had previously thought that I’d gotten all of the Nirvana singles, but
after listening to the radio for a few more months, I had a realization. Every song on “Nevermind”
is considered a single. I threw in “On A Plain” and “Aneurysm” (a B-side) in this one, but with the
whole Nirvana mystique, there’s always more out there. For Stone Temple Pilots, I tried to get some
more songs from “No. 4” (along with a few from the other albums). I quoted “Pruno”,
“Sour Girl”, and “Glide” (one of my favorites).
If “Glide” was Takuya’s second favorite STP song, what was his
favorite? “Down” (another song from “No.
4”) would be his favorite; just listen to the words. Personally, I think “No. 4” really was STP’s best album.
“Core” had the best singles, “Purple” had the best non-singles, “Tiny Music…Songs
From The
At the end of “Generic Blues”, when I said that another story might be able to top it, this was the one that I had in mind. Length-wise, this story was longer, but of course, that’s not what I meant. So did I top “Generic Blues”? Personally, I like this story better. “Generic Blues” had several boring points, but this story was solid all the way through (granted, the stuff before the orgy was kind of corny). Also, Izumi’s “Down In A Hole” speech was just as emotionally charged as her “kiss you again” speech in “Generic Blues”. Of course, the narration sets the tone for any story. For this one, the narration, like the story, was fairly lighthearted. For “Generic Blues”, the narration was heavy, and it culminated perfectly in the last line. If writing quality is measured by feeling, then “Generic Blues” is still the best. It’s like comparing “Smash” to “Ixnay On The Hombre”. One is fun with lots of pandering pieces, and the other is serious, but less appreciated. This story was sort of a super sized version of “Eat It”. It took a general and humorous approach to a pause in the series’ progression. “Addicted To Spuds”, “Smells Like Nirvana”, and “Headline News” also took this approach. “Generic Blues”, “I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead”, and “Dare To Be Stupid” took an emotional approach to a specific event in the series’ progression.
No more delays, it’s time to go over this story. This could take a while. The first title refers to Junpei’s “clones”, but it also refers to how this story was a clone (or more accurately, a composite) of all of the other stories. The title in parentheses refers to the religious references, which as I warned, were controversial. Each character represents a religion. Kouji is the Muslim, Takuya is the Christian, Junpei is the Jew, and Izumi is the Roman (or Ancient Greek religion). There’s another connection that wasn’t mentioned. Much like how Jesus was driven to his death by the Jews and Romans in order to “save” them, Takuya sacrificed himself for Junpei and Izumi. I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the colors of the jumpsuits were part of my color spectrum symbol. I’ll give it to you straight now. Kouji is blue, Izumi is turquoise, Junpei is green, Tomoki is lime, and Takuya is yellow. Oh, and Kouichi is black, but he’s off the spectrum. As you probably noticed, these colors corresponded to the colors of their spirit animals. Now for the fruit symbolism, every character has a fruit. It started with Izumi as the cherry, then Junpei as the blueberry, Tomoki as the lime, Takuya as the lemon, and Kouji as the raspberry. Then there were the numerological symbols, namely the number four. Takuya’s comments about the Stone Temple Pilots album and Xuanwumon’s last line were obvious pieces of dramatic irony (or dramatic something, there was no contradiction). Of course, I was actually pushing my belief that the fourth season was the best. “Gotta Get Away”, “Big Bang Baby”, and “Follow My Way”, the songs most closely associated with Junpei, are also the fourth tracks on their respective albums. Unfortunately, the song that most closely resembles the translated lyrics of Junpei’s Japanese image song (“Spark”) is not a fourth track. I’m referring to The Offspring’s “Lightning Rod”, a ninth track. Another example of dramatic irony (or something) was the line, “I think we’re stuck with the audience.” You might’ve noticed that many of Junpei and Izumi’s “yeah”’s were part of The Offspring’s lyrics. The Offspring put “yeah”’s in about 90% of their songs, “hey”’s in about 50%, “man”’s in about 60%, and “whoa”’s in about 70%. The first three are favorites of Junpei, and the last one I gave to Tomoki. Interestingly, I gave Junpei these sentence starters based on what he said on the show (I wanted to keep some level of accuracy). Steve Blum, the English dub for Junpei and the writer for a few of the episodes (all of the best ones), might just be a fan of The Offspring. Granted, “yeah” and “hey” are standards for rock bands, but “man” is really a specialty of The Offspring. Finally, Wisemon made an appearance in his namesake’s series. When he said, “I’m only omniscient,” it was another fine piece of dramatic irony (I use an omniscient narration). With his last line, he revealed the reason why the “Alternate Ending” is his. There is another reason why the series is called what it’s called, or perhaps, an alternative reason. Okay, I know Wisemon is an actual Japanese card, but since he never appears on the show, and since the card has no American counterpart, I don’t count that Wisemon as existing. Besides, it’s my name, and he’s Bo-1004 (meaning that he was created fairly recently, before my concept with years of planning behind it), so my claim is more legitimate. It is somewhat ironic that one of his translated attacks is “Eternal Nirvana”. On second thought, they just might be the same Wisemon. You never know; my Wisemon never shows his true form, and the Wisemon on the card carries a book (perhaps the one that he wrote for Bokomon). I’ll bet that ending caught you by surprise. Did you notice the difference between the Digital World and the digital world? The last reference to the “failure” was ten stories ago, in “Eat It”. Yes, that is a setup for the series after this one, if I ever get to it.
Just to ensure that this story will be the longest one, I’ll update you on my diet. I’m down to 160 pounds. In its strictest form, my diet is now dry tuna, lettuce, carrots, and salsa for lunch and high fiber cereal with skim milk for dinner. I also eat a lot of fruit, and occasionally, I’ll eat egg whites instead of dry tuna. There are a few other variations that keep it interesting. This says something about how deeply I’m engrossed in my own writing. It says something about how much of me I’ve put into this series, and how much this series has taken on a life of its own in my head. If my protagonist was willing to give up on the fleeting pleasure of fattening foods to be with the girl he was destined for, then so was I. Back at 195 pounds, I met my Izumi, somewhat. She was the girl next-door (she lived in the dorm room next to mine). We had so much in common that it seemed like destiny. We were both shy, determined students (but not too determined, and we hated our majors), friendless (actually, I made some friends, but I still don’t have any close ones), nondrinkers/nonsmokers, family oriented, part-time cashiers, medieval fiction fans (she liked Tolkien; I like Lloyd Alexander and T.H. White), football fans and NASCAR haters, art appreciators, outshined by our younger sisters, and that’s only about half of the list. She liked me, but after taking several steps to avoid me, she finally admitted that she didn’t want to be with anybody. She wanted to move on; she wanted to be alone forever. She was one of those people who only experiences happiness in misery (she admitted that too). Our commonalities scared her, and she thought it was too freaky, how we always agreed on everything. She said that she had tried to scare me off by revealing more of her personality (a trick that she claimed worked on most guys), but the more I got to know, the more I liked her. I told her that she couldn’t stay alone forever; an internal clock would catch up to her. I told her that she would never be able to find anyone who understood her as well as I did. She said she didn’t want someone who could understand her. She didn’t want someone to love her, nor did she want to love anyone. She just wanted someone she could use, someone oblivious, and the fact that I could figure out her moves and motivation (the revelation conversation occurred when I predicted her disappearance), meant that I wasn’t oblivious. She had almost everything in common with me, just like Izumi. She looked like Hazy. She had Kouji and Angewomon’s defect, an inability to love. In whole, she was a Rika.
Alright, now the stuff to remember for later; fortunately, most of this story was a concluder, not a beginner:
Wisemon uses green lightning bolts. Will another digimon use green lightning attacks?
Tomoki holds off HellDiaboromon, but only because HellDiaboromon wants Junpei to be awake for Tomoki’s death.
Does Junpei make a “mess” of his own outside of his dream?
Is this truly the last appearance for Takuya and Kouji, or will they come back again in some other incarnations?
Will Wisemon make another appearance (although, he didn’t literally appear) in this series?
How will Junpei use the advice? Which evolution will he use? Will he be able to pull off the victory? Even if you think you know the answer, you won’t want to miss this intense battle.
Digimon that I created, HellDiaboromon, JediFrigimon, and Wisemon, have attacks named after The Offspring’s albums. There are only two albums left, “Smash”, and my personal favorite, “Conspiracy Of One”.
Junpei doesn’t break Izumi’s hymen in his dream, but how will it go for the actual first time?
As a special treat to anyone who bothered to read through these author’s notes, I’d like to give you a sneak preview of some point of view poems. These point of view poems will be compiled into a single piece later on, but for now, you can see these particular ones as B-sides to this story. These point of view poems are meant to be read like song lyrics, and with the way I wrote them, imagining a melody shouldn’t be too hard. The first one is for Takuya, and it’s inspired by Stone Temple Pilots (especially “Dead & Bloated”) and Disturbed (especially “Prayer”). The second one is for Kouji, and it’s obviously inspired by Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. The third one is a remix with some old school rap and the ending to “Smells Like Nirvana” behind it (that’s where I got the “sayonara”).
Crossfire
I wanted peace and a piece of ass.
I got the latter when we smoked some grass.
Every Sunday, Hazy, me, and the band.
How I ended up here, I don’t understand.
Like everything else, it’s over my head.
Despite these flaws, the team, I led.
They took it away, and took my pride.
I wanted one more Sunday before I died.
So nail me on the ground.
Then nail me to the cross.
Nail me until I sleep.
My power is lost.
Tie me to the stake.
Then burn me alive.
Everything is lost.
Angemon got killed, and I looked away.
I tried to salvage the fight for a downed Junpei.
I was caught in the crossfire of his big bang.
His enraged scream pulled the piss from my wang.
I called on Izumi to make the save.
We said we were sorry, and Junpei forgave.
Then Kouji gave up after failing his turn.
I gave up too; I was ready to burn.
So nail me on the ground.
Then nail me to the cross.
Nail me until I sleep.
My peace is lost.
Tie me to the stake.
Then burn me alive.
Everything is lost.
Somebody blaze me.
I’m ready to go.
Somebody blaze me.
It’s wrong, what I know.
Somebody nail me.
Regroup for your shout.
Somebody nail me.
Because I’m burned out.
I am smelling like a roast.
Will I smell alone?
I am smelling like a roast.
Everyone’s sins atoned.
So nail me on the ground.
Then nail me to the cross.
Nail me until I sleep.
My mind is lost.
Tie me to the stake.
Then burn me alive.
Everything is lost.
Lights Out
Shoot off my guns, insult my friends.
I’ll just snap; I never bend.
Take what I want, a world for the strong.
I never believe what I do is wrong.
Hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no.
Hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no.
Angemon just could not stay.
Because the guy was in my way.
I fucked his girl and took his hang.
I get more done without the gang.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
How should I know?
Not the rhino.
Not the beetle.
Just an ego.
Junpei says he killed my bro.
The kind of thing I can’t let go.
Until the cow is getting slugged.
I won’t let on that I am bugged.
I’m faux, I’m faux, I’m faux, I’m faux.
I’m faux, I’m faux, I’m faux, I’m faux.
I took him down with uppercut.
Turned him around and kicked his butt.
Got to his feet and I’m off mine.
There’s nothing left to do but whine.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
How should I know?
Not the rhino.
Not the beetle.
Just an ego.
We’re going down for one last match.
At my best, I can’t make a scratch.
If all I do I can’t do right.
Maybe time to shut off the lights.
No glow, no glow, no glow, no glow.
No glow, no glow, no glow, no glow.
And I forget all I have faced.
Seems on the whole, my life’s a waste.
The meaning’s hard, too hard to find.
You know, whatever, never mind.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
How should I know?
Not the rhino.
Not the beetle.
Just an ego.
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial.
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial.
A denial.
Lights Out (The “Short Sword Sayonara” Remix)
I’m too skilled.
As a warrior of light.
You’ll get killed.
So don’t even try to fight.
I’m a machine.
A chance you do not stand.
I’m so obscene.
Like the middle of a hand.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
My brother’s dead.
I don’t really give a shit.
That’s what I said.
That’s the lie I spit.
Make him pay.
That’s what I had in mind.
This is gay.
He just handed me my behind.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
A fight in hell.
I will stand alone.
What’s that smell?
I don’t think it’s cologne.
Smells like defeat.
I never could’ve won.
Take back your teat.
That’s where I want my gun.
With my lights out, I’m less dangerous.
We’re just fucking Power Rangers.
Saw an angel, and I banged her.
Why do I fight without anger?
I’m going away for a while.
I’m going away with a smile.
Pull the trigger in dramatic style.
Pull the trigger to end a denial.
Sayonara, sayonara, sayonara, sayonara.
Well, until next time…ta ta.
My university email address expires in May 2006, so I’ll also give you an alternate email address (I check it about twice per month):
©2004 By Benjamin Wiseman