This lemon by Red Rover contains adult concepts from the television show Digimon.  Do not proceed if you are under eighteen or the material is illegal in you jurisdiction.

 

A comedy spin-off inspired by Digistar DBZ.  Thanks to SonimodB, Christine, Togashi, Metal Mikemon, Tank Cop, Hellravenmon, and Boss Reo for letting me write it.   This one takes places after we all watch Dark Jester's 'Sora's Return'

 

The Critics Series #11

 

Gabumatic's Calumon see Calumon do Commentary

Written by Madman/Red Rover (Evil putting my name first, huh?)

 

 

 

MADMAN- So Red Rover, do you finally admit to my superiority? (Looks at Red Rover strapped to table.)

RED ROVER- Okay, this was unexpected.

MADMAN- Why? You should have seen this coming.

RED ROVER- (In Captain James T. Kirk Voice.) But... why... have you... chosen.... this path?

MADMAN- I could have been the greatest lemon writer ever! But I foolishly decided to be your proof-reader. Do you have any idea how LONG it takes to correct your mistakes?

RED ROVER- Oh come on, They're is know way I'm that bad!

MADMAN- Please. You see? Look at that previous sentence! You used the 'They're' instead of 'there' and 'Know' instead of 'no'. My god, it's a grammar nightmare!

RED ROVER- Are we threw tormenting me!

MADMAN- Ugh! 'Through'!  Not "Threw"! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!

RED ROVER- Alright Alright!

MADMAN- That's two words!

RED ROVER- Calm down!  Bee cool!

MADMAN- ARRGH! 'Bee' cool?  Do you not even know how to use a grammar check?

REDROVER- Yes, ov corse eye know? Cant u c?

MADMAN- Urge to destroy world- RISING!!!

 

Meanwhile back in the cage with the other lemon writers...

TANK COP- (Looks at Red Rover and Madman arguing) That looks like it will be going on for a while.

METAL MIKEMON- Perhaps it's a master plan to drive Madman nuts?

HELLRAVENMON- Hell, it's driving me nuts!

DARK JESTER- Yeah, how about someone flipping on a lemon!
GABUMATIC- Hey, yeah we still got the remote; let's see one of mine! (Flips on big screen TV)

CHRISTINE- Gabumatic's Calumon See Calumon Do lemon. An author who specializes in digimon love scenes.

 

 

 

Firsts thing first. Disclaimer: All characters are copyrights of TOEI. I don't have any money; so don't try to sue me.

 

SONIMODB- If you get money later, could we sue you later?

 

Warning: This fic is a lemon. No, I don't mean those yellow sour fruits, but lemon as in adult material, aka digimon having sex.

 

TOGASHI- I think we all know what a lemon is here.

 

Don't know what sex is?

 

TOGASHI- And you're still reading this. Interesting.

LORD ARCHIVE- I hope you know Gabumatic. Otherwise, this lemon is going to suck!

 

Then you are too young to be reading this fic. I look forward to your reviews, as long as they are not flames. I will not even pay attention to flamers. As I like to say, I will snuff flamers.

 

METAL MIKEMON- I though you said you didn't pay attention to flamers? Snuffing them is different, not indifferent.

 

Thank you and I hope you enjoy the fic.

NOTE: This fanfic is not related to any other season 03 fic I have done so far.

 

CHRISTINE- A season 03 specialist.

 

NOTE1: This fic is a crossbreed fic, which means it involves digi-destined and digimon having sex.

 

BOSS REO- I think you mentioned that before.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calumon See Calumon Do

 

CANIUS- Well I think we figured out who the digimon is in this fic.

 

By: Gabumatic

 

GABUMATIC- Ah, fame at last.

 

Calumon was hopping around from tree to tree. He was bored today. Sure he followed the humans to school, watched them play around in the schoolyard, and watched as they left school, but he wanted to play with someone today.

 

SONIMODB- I guess play is a euphemism for sex.

 

He had hopped over to Guilmon's hiding area, but he saw Takato was already there with Guilmon. Guilmon was not nearly as fun with Takato around. So now here he was hopping from tree to tree, trying to find something interesting to do.

 

BOSS REO- Or someone to do.

 

Calumon sighed as he jumped up into the air and extended his ears. He began to soar between the buildings, looking for anything interesting. After a while of finding nothing, he finally just landed on a terrace. He stood on the railing, looking for anything interesting. The TV caught his attention as he looked to see what was on. No one seemed to be in the room, as Calumon looked in to see a strange bunny logo on the screen.

 

LORD ARCHIVE- It just happens to be on the playboy channel.

 

Next thing Calumon knew, he saw a human on the screen. This human was different; she didn't have any clothes on. Calumon was wondering what this show was about.

 

TOGASHI- That show is about setting the plot device.

 

Calumon really didn't know that he was watching a porno. He saw hands coming from off screen, starting to touch the woman all over.

'What is going on?' Calumon wondered to himself.

 

TOGASHI- Probably thinks it's some kind of multi-handed digimon.

 

A moan brought him back from his thoughts as the hands began to fondle the woman's breasts. She was wriggling a bit under the treatment. Calumon stared at the screen, glued to what was happening.

 

DARKMON- And probably wishing he had Renamon here to try it out.

 

The woman's moans grew louder as the hands traveled down her body, stopping at her pussy. The hands started to focus on that one spot, one rubbing and one moving inside. The woman's moans were getting louder by the second, as the hands continued their treatment. The one hand that was rubbing her pussy lips now focused on her clit and the other one started to pump into her at a faster speed. The woman seemed to scream out as her orgasm hit, some of her pussy juice dripping onto the floor, a smile planted on her face.

 

LORD ARCHIVE- Seem to scream? How do you seem to scream?

 

'She sure seems to be happy.' Calumon thought.

 

DARKMON- That's a 'duh' if I've ever heard one.

 

Calumon was paying so much attention to the show that he didn't even notice his member start to become erect in his sheathe. He did notice, though, as the air hit his member as it began to push out of the sheathe. He stared down at his member.

 

LORD ARCHIVE- Something got his attention away from the screen.

 

'Why is that coming out?' he wondered to himself before another moan caught his attention.

 

BOSS REO- I guess that pretty well confirms he is a virgin.

 

When he turned back to the TV, another member like his, only larger and a different color, appeared on the screen. The woman had grasped it in her hand and was stroking it, causing the man to moan off screen, which is what elicited Calumon's attention. Calumon remembered that when the girl was moaning she was smiling, so whatever she was doing had to be good.

 

METAL MIKEMON- What she was doing? More like what the man was doing.

 

Calumon looked down at his own member and grasped it, moving his paw up and down like the girl did. A shockwave of pleasure shot through the tiny digimon's body, nearly causing him to fall.

 

TANK COP- Bad idea to jack oneself off on a narrow ledge.

 

He had never done anything like this before.

'So that is why there is moaning.' Calumon thought to himself before slightly moaning himself.

 

LORD ARCHIVE- Very observant.

 

He looked over and saw the woman going faster, so he went faster as well. He could feel something building up but he did not know what. He watched as she stopped rubbing and guided the member to her wet spot. He also watched as the member pushed into her, never stopping the treatment on his own member. He watched as the member pushed in and out, rapidly over and over again.

 

CANIUS- How many times are you going to use the word member?

GABUMATIC- Hey it just sounds classier than cock or dick.

 

The last thing Calumon noticed about the show was that she seemed to be extremely happy. His hips began to thrust into his paw as the first climax of his life overtook him. He yelled out as his load shot forth, hitting the terrace.

 

SONIMODB- I feel sorry for the window washer who has to clean that up.

 

His little body wobbled to and fro before he fell off the railing, still feeling the after effects of his first orgasm.

 

HELLRAVENMON- Effects including plunging to his death?

 

"Did you hear anything?" a man said as he leaned up from in front of the couch, to see if anyone was there.

 

DARKMON- Imagine if he saw a tiny white creature masturbating on his sill.

 

"I didn't say you could stop!" A woman yelled as she pulled him back down.

 

SONIMODB- Then Calumon knocks on the window and asks if he can join.

CANIUS- That would kill the mood.

 

Meanwhile, Calumon's ears extended as his small body started to float around.

'That felt so good.' Calumon said to himself, slightly smiling.

 

CANIUS- Is that the end of the lemon?

GABUMATIC- Remember? This lemon contains digimon and human sex.

 

Calumon floated around for a while, before spotting Rika.

 

GABUMATIC- And there's the second part.

 

He followed her all the way back to her house. Rika entered her house, feeling angry. She took her digivice and her cards into one hand, and looked at them for a bit before tossing them into the trash.

"I don't want anything else to do with digimon." Rika said.

 

LORD ARCHIVE- Considering that you warned us that there'd be human/digimon sex, I am willing to bet she will have something to do with Calumon.

 

Rika sighed as she took off her shirt and her pants, and got into her bed. She closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep, when she heard a noise. Calumon had entered her house and had climbed into the wastebasket. The wastebasket fell over as Calumon tumbled out, holding Rika's digivice and cards.

 

SONIMODB- And a condom.

DARK JESTER- You think there'd one be one small enough to fit him?

 

"Why are you sad?" Calumon asked.

"Get away from me you little rat!" Rika yelled out.

Calumon hopped up beside the bed and put the digivice and cards beside the bed.

"Come on, don't be sad. Let's play!" Calumon said, hopping up and down.

 

BOSS REO- I am willing to bet he wants to play doctor.

CHRISTINE- Or maybe naughty nurse.

 

Rika turned around the other direction. "Leave me alone!"

Calumon's ears shrank but then he hopped over to the other side of the bed.

"Let's play tag!" Calumon suggested, smiling at Rika.

 

BOSS REO- I don't think she is going to agree to that.

GABUMATIC- Especially considering this is a lemon.

TOGASHI- You could always play Naked Tag. It gives a whole new meaning 'your it'.

 

Rika said nothing but just layed on her back.

Calumon frowned. "I know!" he exclaimed as he jumped under the sheets.

 

DARKMON- Ah, hide and seek now.

 

"Get out of there pervert!" Rika yelled out.

 

TOGASHI- Pervert- Calumon's new word for the day.

 

Calumon made his way through out the sheets. He finally reached her legs and started to make his way up them until he reached her crotch. Rika reached for the sheets and threw them off. At the same time Calumon had pulled down her panties.

 

DARK JESTER- Man, he does move fast.

 

'This ought to make her happy.' Calumon thought to himself as he began to finger Rika.

 

TOGASHI- Finger her? He could probably get his arm all the way up there.

 

"Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Rika started to yell out as it turned into a moan.

 

MADMAN/REDROVER- (From next room) My Fonz sense is... tingling...

TANK COP- For someone who hates digimon, she sure submits quickly.

 

Calumon smiled as he heard the moan. He started to do like the hands did in the show that he saw, one hand rubbing her pussy lips and moved in slightly as the other hand started to rub her clit.

 

SONIMODB- I see where the Calumon See Calumon Do title came from.

 

Rika's moans started to become louder at the treatment. She had never experienced anything like this before. She hadn't even toucheded herself down there before.

 

BOSS REO-  You think she at least wash herself there. Otherwise she'd get pretty ripe.

GABUMATIC- She meant touch herself sexually, jackass.

 

Her mind was yelling out to get rid of this digimon but her body was overcome with so much pleasure she couldn't move. Calumon began to speed up his movements as he heard her moans get louder. Rika couldn't tell what was going on with her body as she hit her first orgasm.

 

CANIUS- But probably not her last of the evening.

 

Calumon felt his hands be covered by her juices.

 

HELLRAVENMON- Be covered? Are we speaking ye old English now?

 

He brought his hands to his face and sniffed his hands and then licked the juices off of them. He instantly wanted more.

 

CHRISTINE- Looks like Rika is more than happy to provide him some.

 

He put his head between her legs and instantly started to lick off the cum from her previous orgasm.

 

CANIUS- This digimon sure learns quickly.

 

Rika's body shivered from the amount of pleasure she was receiving from his attention. Calumon's tongue started to work inside of Rika after he had cleaned up the outside. Rika gasped as she felt Calumon's tongue licking her insides. Calumon tongue licked all over her walls, getting all her cum. Rika moaned as she had a second orgasm just from the licking.

 

DARKMON- I like that.  She had an orgasm JUST from licking. She had an orgasm JUST from having oral sex. 

 

Calumon felt some of her cum enter his mouth and some splash on his face. Calumon swallowed what was in his mouth and licked the rest off of his face.

 

BOSS REO- He must have a long tongue as well.

 

Calumon then noticed that his member had come out of his sheathe again and was fully erect.

 

TANK COP- He just noticed he had an erection?

GABUMATIC- He was otherwise occupied.

 

He positioned himself at her sweet spot as he started to push in like he saw in the movie.

 

METAL MIKEMON- Man, considering that Calumon's a tenth her size, he must be well endowed.

 

Both simultaneously gasped as Calumon entered into her. Calumon's instincts took over as he started to pull out and pump into her. He felt something blocking his way further into her but he just continued to push, breaking her cherry.

 

CANIUS- She hates digimon, and she lost her to virginity to a digimon.

 

Rika closed her eyes in pain and in pleasure as he pushed deeper. Calumon couldn't hold on for much, as Rika was so tight.

 

DARKMON- She must be tight, considering Calumon can't be that big.

 

Calumon's member twitched as he shot his load into her. Rika also hit her orgasm at the same time, her walls gripping and milking Calumon for all he was worth. Both were moaning loudly as their orgasms started to pass. Calumon pulled out of Rika, some of the mixture leaking down her inner thigh.

Calumon's member shrunk back into his sheathe as he got up. He noticed that she was smiling.

 

BOSS REO- Well, she obviously must have been enjoying it.

METAL MIKEMON- Otherwise she'd have beaten him to death with his digivice.

 

"I'm glad you're happy now." Calumon stated as he bounced out of the room.

 

TOGASHI- Yeah, I am sure he did that just for Rika's pleasure.

DARKMON- Don't you mean JUST.

ALL- Just let it die, man.

 

Rika stared at Calumon as he left. 'Maybe digimon are good for something after all.'

 

HELLRAVENMON- And Guilmon's ears picked up from a mile away.

 

She thought to herself as she pulled her panties back up and got back under the covers.

 

SONIMODB- Not even cleaning herself up.

 

Once Calumon was out of the house, he leapt back up into the air and used his ears to glide about. 'I wonder if anyone else needs some happiness.' Calumon wondered to himself and smiled as he floated about the town.

 

HELLRAVENMON- Oh yeah, now stumble on a depressed Renamon, and the believability factor will soar even higher.

 

The End

 

SONIMODB- A classic ending.

 

I hope you all enjoyed this fic. I look forward to reading all of your reviews. To all of you who want to flame my fic, I suggest that you don't.

 

DARKMON- You think that would stop a flame?

 

I will ignore all of the reviews which are flames because I gave you enough warning before the story as to what was going to be involved and if you just skipped over the story just to flame it, then I would suggest that go back and read it, who knows, you might actually like it.

 

METAL MIKEMON- If you don't like it the first time, you may like it the second?

BOSS REO- Hehe, sounds like something you say to your girlfriend.

 

There is a difference between a flame and a critical review of a story.

 

CANIUS- Man, someone is really paranoid about flames.

 

I would ask that if you do include anything you thought was wrong, like if I seemed to skip over something, because that can help me to become a better fanfic writer. For all of who would give this story a good review, I thank you in advance. Anyway, thank you for reading my story or at least looking it over.

See ya later.

 

CHRISTINE- A cute little lemon.

BOSS REO- I know, I rather enjoyed Calumon's naivety.

DARK JESTER- I still think the digimon moved fast.

SONIMODB- I know. He discovered sex, and not an hour later, he's having it.

CANIUS- Still a good lemon, none the less.

GABUMATIC- Thanks all. Great to have the approval of fellow lemon writers.

TANK COP- Speaking of lemon writers, how are Madman and Red Rover doing?

 

Back over to Madman and Red Rover...

RED ROVER- Now are you going to start tearing your hare out?

MADMAN-Hair! Hair! That is it! (Walks over to gigantic movie screen.)

RED ROVER- Where are you going? (Looks up at screen.) And where did that come from? Wait a second, this reeks of a Plot Device

MADMAN- That is because it is a Plot Device. Now it is time to see a true lemon.

 

 

And that was the continuation of what is now called Madman's Critics series. Thanks to Dark Jester, SonimodB, Togashi, Metal Mikemon, Tank Cop, Hellravenmon, Darkmon, Lord Archive, Christine, Canius, Gabumatic, and Boss Reo. Any comments, requests, question, writing tips, etc, e-mail me at mrredrover@hotmail.com.

Proofread/Co-Written by: Madman