OMG HAPPY FUCKING DAY, Not too long ago the disk I had this lemon you're reading on got slammed in a car door. For the longest time I haven't been able to get this ONE FUCKING FILE OFF OF IT AND IT'S BEEN PISSING ME OFF!!!! Today however on well what I don't know, I decided to give the thing a shot. I stuck the disk in clicked on the file and nearly shit my pants as it, for the first time since the door-slamming incident, opened. Suffice to say I'm quite happy as I now continue what has been my pride and joy(god I have NO life) THE REALITY WARP SERIES.

      Today's tale will be well worth the wait, this newest addition promises many thrills and chills, and the introduction of two new writers to the fray. Who will they be? What mischief will they get up to? And will they make the fatal mistake of eating my goddamn chips that I left behind? Well what are you waiting for? you want the answers you can bloody well read on cuz I ain't telling ya.

Enjoy \|/

 

Joyful Kidnappings

By: Netrogo

 

 

      "Ohhh a hiking we will go, a hiking we will go," Netrogo sang as he, Soni, and Sora treked through the woods looking for any sign of Harasho or Runhurd.

 

      "Will you shut up!!" Soni shouted at Netrogo.

 

      "Sorry but I'm fucking bored." Net grumbled.

 

      "He does get moody doesn't he?" Sora asked Soni while smiling at Netrogo.

 

      "Yeah but it's nothing personal, you should see him if you try to take food away from him now that's moody." Soni said in a serious tone.

 

      "HEY!!" Netrogo shouted. "I DON'T GET MOODY, just upset....."

 

      Sora laughed and put an arm around Net. He knew they were only teasing him to lighten the mood because of course they were all just as bored as he was. As they marched along they came to an unusual rock structure. They stopped to look at it.

 

      "Well this is interesting," Net said looking at the pedastal shaped rock before them. "What the fuck is it?!?"

 

      "I dunno, it looks like a pedastal or stand of some kind," Soni said looking the strange thing over. "Sora you ever see this thing before?"

 

      "No, and I've walked down this path a dozen times before."

 

      "Hmmmm, strange." Soni looked at the front of the stand. "Hey, Net isn't that the symbol you use on your le-errrr-signature?" Soni suddenly asked pointing to a raised carving in the pedastal that was an exact match to the \|/ mark that Net had taken to putting on his lemons. Netrogo took a closer look.

 

      "Hey your right, that's fuckin copyright infringment or something." Netrogo reached down and touched the \|/ marking. Suddenly the marking glowed bright orange along with the top of the pedastal. When the glowing stopped a small thing that looked like a pager had appeared on top of the pedastal. The pager thing had Net's \|/ symbol on it.

 

      "Ummmm," Netrogo mumbled. "Does anyone else hear the X-files theme playing right about now?"

 

      The trio looked at the strange looking item before them trying to figure out what it was. Soni suggested that Netrogo should pick it up.

 

      "Why me?? It could electrocute me or something."

 

      "It's got your goddamn symbol on it that's why." Soni said. "Besides if it was here to hurt us it would probably shoot us or something, not wait for us to pick it up."

 

      Netrogo sighed, knowing Soni was right, he reached out and grasped the odd looking item in his hand. 'Strange', he thought to himself, 'it feels like it's supposed to be in my hand.' He looked the item over and found a couple of buttons on it. One button was red with a lightning bolt and the other was blue with a picture of a megaphone. "Hey guys, take a look at this," Net said showing the others the buttons.

 

      "Hmmm, I wonder what they're for." Soni said running a finger along the side of the thing in Net's hand.

 

      "It looks kinda like a digivice." Sora said.

 

      "Hey your right!" Net said excitedly. "Maybe this has something to do with what Gennai said, maybe we really are destined to save the digital world."

 

      "Maybe but how can we figure out what this thing does?" Soni asked.

 

      "Easy, like this." Net said and, before anyone could stop him, he pushed the lightning bolt button. The strange item suddenly burst into flames and engulfed Netrogo with it. Strangely Net seemed to be fine. After a moment the fire began to fade and Netrogo stood before them wearing a suit of fiery armor and clutching his now flaming baseball bat.

 

      "Net are you okay?" Sora said, hesitating at the thought of touching the menacing looking armor.

 

      "Okay? I feel GREAT!!!!" Net said. "I feel like I could lift a house on one finger, and check out this armor and bat!!!"

 

      "Hmmm, it looks almost as if he digivolved." Soni said walking around Net and analyzing the armor. "Perhaps there is something to what Gennai was showing us on that tablet."

 

      "All I know is I feel fucking powerful!!!" Net said swinging his bat and smashing a nearby tree.

 

      "Yea well go easy on the macho show boating" Sora growled. "You're liable to take one of our heads of with that thing."

 

      "Sorry," Net said.

 

      "Well I think we should get to looking for Harasho and Runhu*OOF*" Soni suddenly stopped as he was knocked to the ground. He than noticed what had knocked him down.

 

      "Heya guys." Runhurd said lying on the ground next to Soni. "I've been looking everywhere for you. And Harasho's here too. And Net what is up with that costume?"

 

      Everyone blinked at each other for a moment before responding to Runhurd.

 

      "For one" Soni finally said. "We've been looking for you as well. Two, where is Harasho anyways, and three we don't really know whats up with the costume Net's wearing."

 

      Everyone preceded to explain what had happend up to that point and went off to find Harasho. Meanwhile back at Net's house.....

 

      "HELLOOOO ANYBODY HERE?" Scott cried sticking his head Net's front door and looking around. "HARASHO? RUNHURD? ARE YOU GUYS HERE?"

 

      "Hi Scott!!" Came a voice from behind. Scott whirled around to find Net's gf San walking up the walkway.

 

      "SAN!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?" Scott sputtered, no one had let her know what was going on cuz she was liable to kill Net for even thinking about going to the digital world let alone anyone who let him.

 

      "Ummm I'm here to see Net, why else would I be here?" San said a little confused by Scott.

 

      "OH, well ummmm he's not home right now, he uhhhhh went out." Scott lied.

 

      "Went out? Where?" San asked. "He told me that he was going to be home working on his new lemon."

 

      "Oh well I'm uhhhh pretty sure he'll be home soon." Scott said quickly.

 

      "Maybe I should just wait for him." San said stepping into the house.

 

      "NO!!!!!" Scott blurted out.

 

      "Why not?"

 

      "Ummm, uhhhh, ohhhh....." Scott tried to think of something.

 

      "Okay That's It!!! There's something you're not telling me Scott and you're going to start telling me right NOW!!!!!" San said with authority.

 

      "But, I... ummmmm... I... I..."

 

      "NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

      *******So one of Net's bottles of pop and a long explanation later*********

 

      "I can't believe you guys let Net do this?!?" San stammered. "What are we going to do if he gets hurt, how the hell do we explain THAT one to his parents huh?"

 

      "Hey don't yell at me, I just got here." Scott said trying to defend himself.

 

      "As far as I'm concerned you're just as responsible as everyone else." San countered. "Now let's get going."

 

      "Where?" Scott asked."

 

      "Well Net's in the digital world soo that's where we're going in." San answered.

 

      "The digital world?!? Are you as crazed as your boyfriend? And what's all this 'lets' stuff." Scott asked.

 

      "Well you don't expect me to go alone now do you?"

 

      "No...but...I..."

 

      "As I thought, now let's get going."

 

      ****Back in the Digital World****

 

     

 

      “Hey Net, what’s wrong, you suddenly look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Sora asked as she held Net by the arm, Net had indeed turned white as a sheet.

 

      “Huh? Oh it’s nothing” Net said shaking his head, “I just suddenly got this omnious feeling and kinda zoned.”

 

      “Well so long as you’re okay.” Sora said and snuggled up closer to Net. “Y’know this would be a lot easier if you weren’t so damned big.”

 

      “Well I’d like nothing more than to go back to normal size but I have no idea how to.” Net said.

 

      “Hey Net lemme see that digivice thing that you got” Soni jumped in. I wanna check something.”

 

      “Sure thing Soni” Net said tossing the divice to Soni.

 

      “Hmmmm just as I thought.” Soni said.

 

      “What?!?” Everyone asked at once.

 

      “Hey Net did you ever think of looking at the BACK of this thing?” Soni asked turning over the thing and showing it to Net. There on the back of the device, not too far from the top, was a button with a picture of a big stickfigure shrinking into a small one. “Gee Net, what do you think this button does?”

 

      Everyone broke out in laughter as Net sheepishly took the divice and pressed the button. Immediately there was a bright flash of light and suddenly  Netrogo was standing before them back to his normal self. He crammed the divice into his pocket and began trudging off down the path everyone else still snickering and giggling about how he’d gotten all that brawn but the brain stayed the same.

 

      Meanwhile in another part of the digital world. . . . . .

 

      A mysterious figure covered in a dark cloak lept from a nearby tree and landed softly on the ground infront of the unconscious form of Harasho. Harasho had yet to awake from his coma like sleep that’d he’d slipped into and was still smiling a mile wide grin. The figure gave Harasho a soft kick in the knee to jostle him from his sleep but Harasho just snored and rolled over. Irritated the figure brought his foot back and gave Harasho a swift, and quite sudden, kick to the ass. Harasho lept to his feet with a yelp and found himself face to face with...

 

      “Falcon?!?” Harasho exclaimed “What are you doing here?”

 

      “Shhh, keep it down would ya.” Falcon whispered holding a hand to Harasho’s mouth. “I don’t want people knowing I’m here yet. We need a spy lurking about incase they capture everyone.”

 

      “They who?” Harasho asked in as loud a voice as before.

 

      “I can’t tell you yet” Falcon said “They’ll make themselves known soon enough, in the mean time try and find the others. Tell them that I’ll meet you all in two days but don’t come looking for me. When the time comes I’ll find you.”

 

      “Okay, where are you going now?” Harasho asked.

 

      “I can’t tell you, let’s just say I have a hunch to look into.” Falcon said and with a quick smile lept up and out of site.

 

      “Man, creepy guy” Harasho mumbled to himself “But ya gotta love that getup.” Harasho turned and started running off in the direction of a river he noticed earlier hoping that it might take him to the others, or that they might come to it.

 

      Back at the portal. . . . .

 

      “Owwww, San did you have to land on me?” Scott shouted pushing San off of him. When they’d came through the portal they had landed in a heap at the end with Scott on the bottom.

 

      “You’d think you’d be happy to have a girl ontop of you.” San said jokingly helping Scott to his feet.

 

      “Yeah scoring with Net’s girlfriend is right up there on my list of priorities,” Scott said sarcasticly “Right along side giving him a shit load of weaponry and tell him that I like being a target!”

 

      “Well you don’t have to be so cynical.” San retorted.

 

      “Well it’s not like I should be happy considering where I am” Scott said growing more perturbed with each second he passed in the digital world. “I mean it’s not like this is our lemons where a bunch of horny digimon are going to run up and*” Scott suddenly cut off as a yellowish thing swooped down and snatched him right off the ground and took him up into the trees.

 

      “SCOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!” San cried as the creature carried him off.

 

      Scott was surprised to find, when the creature finally stopped, that he had been kidnapped by a digimon. And not just any digimon but a Renamon.

 

      “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, YOU’RE ACTUALLY RENAMON AREN’T YOU?!?” Scott said keeping in total control of the situation. “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS, I MEAN I KNEW THIS WAS THE DIGITAL WORLD AND EVERYTHING BUT I NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE YOU HERE THIS IS SOO SWEET. SO WHY’D YOU SCOOP ME UP HUH?”

 

      “Well I’ve been looking for a group of humans that’s supposed to be around here and assumed you were one of them.” Renamon replied.

 

      “Why didn’t you take San too?” Scott asked.

 

      “How many hands do you see here? Do I look like an Octomon to you?” Renamon cracked. “Frankly if I had to choose between a female and a male I think I’d rather take the male.”

 

      “Why’s that?” Scott asked.

 

      “Well with a female I wouldn’t be able to do this.” Renamon said rubbing her paw against Scott’s crotch. Scott’s eye’s popped out of his head as he watched her start to undo his pants.

 

‘Holy Shit!!’ He thought to himself, ‘Digimon are just like in the stories we write, she’s gonna fuck me this is GREAT.’ He quickly laid back and rested his back against a near by rock. Renamon continued to work her magic as she pulled down Scott’s pants revealing his eager cock. Renamon smiled and gave the head of his dick a little lick. She brought herself forward and positioned her dripping pussy over the upright shaft. Scott stifled a laugh as the soft fur around her cunt began to tickle him while she lowered herself onto his awaiting member. When she had taken all she could into herself she began rocking her hips up and down letting the juices flow and blowing Scott’s mind in the process. She lowered her tail down and tickled the underside of his sack to Scott's great joy. Scott was breathing heavily as Renamon began rocking faster and harder bringing him closer to climaxing. After a few more thrusts Renamon came but continued to ride Scott’s ‘wave’ for all it was worth. Scott reached up and ran his fingers along her chest until he found her breasts hidden beneath the fur. He ran his fingers gently across her nipples, pinching them lightly between his thumb and forefinger. He was getting close to cumming and it was starting to get difficult to keep his mind on pleasuring her, thankfully she was approaching her second climax and playfully shoved Scott's arms down. When Scott finally couldn't take it anymore he thrust himself deep inside her, filling her with his seed causing her to scream out as she came her second time. Barely holding on to conciousness Scott looked up at Renamon who only smiled.

 

“Ohhh we’re FAR from through m’man,” she said getting ready for round two. Meanwhile the DE, who was watching EVERYTHING, laughed.

 

“The fool, how little does he know that I sent her to suduce him so that he can’t muck up my plans.” He cackled sinisterly “So long as she stays there screwing his brains out they will never complete the prophecy and I shall rule over all the digital world and soon the real world as well MWAHAHAHAHAHA...”

 

 

To be continued (duh!)......

 

And there you have it my newest, and long awaited, instalement of Reality Warp. I would like to take this time to point out two things. One being that I came up with this whole idea LOOOOOOOOONG before I even knew frontier was coming out, which really pissed me off that the new series mirrors my idea, grrrrrrr. The other being that I have gotten TONNES OF EMAILS bout the contest from my last lemon and would like to point out that I can’t remember who it was who won the last contest but that it was won about one day after the last one was released so starting this lemon I will be dating the contest just to make sure this doesn’t happen again, though it is pretty cool to find out just how many ppl read my stuff cuz O_O DAMN I got a shit load oh emails.

Laters for Now,

Netrogo (Netrogo@wowmail.com)

 

*~* Contest for this Lemon *~*

 

Today’s question is a really tough one. Now many ppl know my nick/penname Netrogo. But few ppl know my nick/penname’s LAST name. That’s right when I came up with the nick Netrogo I also came up with a last name to go with it and the first person to email with the answer will win a fabulous prize. So the question of course is   “WHAT IS NETROGO’S LAST NAME?”    Answer’s must be received no later than March 1 2003 so get busy solvin this scooberific mystery gang (MAN, I’ve been wathing waaaay too much Scooby-Doo.