How Did THAT Happen?!
By Lord Archive
Rated R for adult situations dealing with sex. Nothing descriptive. Those
under 18 should not read this.
Warning! This part contains sexual situations that may upset some readers.
Do not read this if you have a narrow-minded view on how sexual relations
should occur. I hold nothing but characterization sacred. As long as I can
portray characters close to what they are in series, I don't care what they
do or what happens to them.
Digimon belongs to Bandai, Fox Kids, Saban Entertainment, etc... and is
used without consent. I'll return them as soon as they release the next
videotape for the series.
Note: This is NOT part of Red Digivice Diaries.
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This was it. Her parents were going to kill her, slowly. They were NEVER
going to understand this.
Miyako's parents sat across from her, concern etched into their faces since
she had asked to talk to both of them.
"M-mom, Dad, I... I've got a little problem." Miyako swallowed hard trying
to figure out what to say next.
"You're not using drugs, are you?" Mrs. Inoue questioned.
Miyako's eyes widened and shook her head fiercely. "No."
Mr. Inoue slapped the armrest of the chair he was in. "You're the one who's
been stealing the beer from the store? I thought it was your brother."
"NO! I have not been taking the beer. I'm pregnant!"
Miyako's parents froze in shock.
Mrs. Inoue spoke first. "Um, dear. We're supposed to mention those big
things and then you relate that you have a small problem. You're not
supposed to have THAT kind of problem. Now why do you think you're
pregnant?"
Miyako couldn't believe her mother's reaction. She wasn't a little girl
anymore and didn't appreciate her mother treating her like one. "I've had
sex on a rather regular basis for the past four months, haven't had a
period in almost two, and this said I was." She held up a Sailor Moon
pregnancy test kit (TM).
"You know what sex is?" Mrs. Inoue looked faint.
"Of course I do. A guy sticks his penis in me and humps me until we both
cum."
"Who's the father?" Mr. Inoue demanded.
"Um...." Miyako sweat-dropped. "That's kind of a problem."
Mr. Inoue's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You don't know?!"
"Oh, I know who the father is. It can only be the one guy I've had sex
with. It's just I don't think you're going to like it."
"It's that Daisuke boy, isn't it." Mrs. Inoue held her hand to her chest.
"He's such a troubled child."
Miyako shook her head. "It's not him."
"Iori?!" Mr. Inoue squeaked in disbelief. "But he's only ten!"
Miyako looked sick. "Gah. No, it's not him."
Miyako's parents exchanged confused glances.
"If it's Takeru or Koushiro, I wouldn't have much of a problem. Well no
more than becoming a grandmother at my age."
"It's not them either, Mom."
"Then who is it?" Mr. Inoue questioned.
"The father is, ahem, me." A meter tall hawk wearing a headband with a
feather sticking out it walked into the room.
"The father is a midget in a bird costume?!" Mr. Inoue called out in
surprise.
"I am not a midget. My name is Hawkmon and I am a digimon, which is short
for digital monster."
"It's a monster?! It must be an incubus come to rob our daughter's purity."
Miyako coughed to get their attention. "If you're concerned about my
PURITY, I can show that I'm still pure in spirit." She turned to her
digimon partner. "Hawkmon, armor digivolve energize!"
The giant bird sighed. "Hawkmon armor digivolve to..." A ball of golden
light encased him. It exploded, but somehow caused no damage. Now a tall,
white and green humanoid figure with shuriken for hands and feet stood
where Hawkmon had been. "...the blades of purity, Shurimon!"
"What the hell?!" Miyako's parents yelled out.
"This is Shurimon, which is another form for Hawkmon. My guess is that this
form is the father of my child, but all of his forms are still the same
person."
Mrs. Inoue shrank back. "It's not a person, it's a thing."
Shurimon looked at his lover. "I told you this wasn't the way to introduce
me."
"Sorry, but they needed to know." Miyako sighed. "Mom, Dad, I know this is
a lot to handle. But I love him, and I don't feel what we've been doing was
wrong. I realize now we should've used protection, but I didn't think he
could get me pregnant."
Mr. Inoue stood up and walked over to Shurimon. "So, son, you've been with
my youngest daughter. How old are you?"
Shurimon paused to think. "A rather complicated answer for that question.
I'd guess the most correct would be that I'm about one-year old."
"Right. You don't have a birth certificate either, do you?"
Shurimon shook his head. "No."
Mr. Inoue laughed. "This is just wonderful! There's no way in hell Miyako
can marry him."
"But I love him!" Miyako called out. "I WANT to marry him."
"I'm sure you do. But it'll never be legally recognized."
Mrs. Inoue stood up. "Dear, you can't be serious about that. Miyako is
going to have to get an abortion."
"No!" Miyako screamed. "This is my baby, and I'll keep him no Yamatoer what.
If you try to make me, I'll go to another dimension and you'll never see me
or your grandchildren!"
Mr. Inoue walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a six-pack of
beer. "Let's not make any hasty decisions." He popped open a can and
quickly drained it dry. "We're going to have to talk this over for a
while." He started on the second can.
--------------------
It took a few weeks for Hawkmon to win over Miyako's mother and convince
her that he wasn't a demonic monster. That had been a tough fight, but his
polite mannerisms finally convinced her.
Now being over four months pregnant, Miyako had gone in for her first
sonogram. She would get to see her child for the first time. And unlike
most parents, she had to wonder how human he would look. The reaction from
the person doing the reading didn't help soothe her fears. Even though the
fetus wasn't very developed yet, it was obviously 'deformed.' The doctor
they brought in said part of the deformity looked like wings.
Miyako held a transparent sonogram image of her child to a light to see her
child again. She shook her head and was about to leave when she heard
someone call her name. "Hikari?" she questioned.
"What are you doing here?" Hikari asked.
Miyako looked at her friend. "Same as you. No wonder you and Takeru dropped off
the face of the Earth. I wondered what happened to you."
"Well... been kind of busy and I guess we sort of lost touch with you after
you went to junior high." The bulge Hikari displayed suggested that she was
pretty far into the pregnancy.
"How far are you?"
"Seven months."
"Seven?!" Miyako shuddered. If Hikari looked like that at seven months, what
would she look like? Hikari was thin as a rail before and now looked like
Ikkakumon.
Hikari nodded. "You've had a sonogram; can I see?"
"If I can see yours."
Hikari pulled out a large envelope and pulled out a sonogram image. They
exchanged pictures. She frowned trying to figure out the image.
Miyako tilted her head trying to read the image better. "Hikari... what's
this?"
Hikari giggled nervously. "Those are... wings."
"Wings?" Miyako chirped.
Hikari nodded. "Jyou and Koushiro speculate they have something to do with
Takeru and my powers."
"I guess that makes sense."
Hikari squinted at part of the image. "Are those what I think they are?"
"Yep. They're wings too."
"Who's the father?" Hikari demanded.
"Hawkmon."
Hikari stared in shock. "Hawk...mon? Are you sure?"
"Positive. Unless some guy screwed me in my sleep, that's the only
possibility." Miyako pointed at the sonogram image. "Besides, he's got bird
claws for hands."
"Y-you mean a digimon can breed with a human?"
Miyako nodded. "Yep. I'm living proof. Is something wrong?"
Hikari slumped into a chair while staring off into space. "It'd be fun, she
said. Nothing wrong could possibly happen, she said. Digimon and humans
can't possibly breed, she said. TAILMON YOU STUPID CAT! I'M GOING TO KILL
YOU!!!" She began to cry. "Just because you wanted a f-foursome, now I'm
p-pregnant with Patamon's ch-child."
"Oh, shit," was all Miyako could think to say.
"And if mine is Patamon's... then Tailmon's egg might be...." Hikari started
to laugh in a way that didn't sound very sane.
--------------------
"Why so glum?" Yamato questioned.
Takeru sighed. "What would you say if you found out your girlfriend didn't get
pregnant by you, but a digimon?"
"Dance the jig and dump her sorry ass."
Takeru laughed. "Forgot about Jun for a second."
Yamato folded his arms. "I wish I could. So, what's your problem?"
"Found out I ROYALLY screwed up." Takeru palmed his head.
"You've know Hikari has been pregnant for months."
"Yeah, but that kid isn't mine."
Yamato raised an eyebrow. "But Takeru, Hikari wouldn't sleep around."
"Not usually... but there was one time we... experimented."
"Threesome?" Yamato chirped. "With who?"
"Foursome-- with Tailmon and Patamon."
"Ew." Yamato shuddered. "But what does that have to do with anything?"
"Remember the wings on the sonogram? There is the proof that Patamon is the
father."
"Digimon and humans can't breed. Besides, I thought the wings were a side
effect of Hikari and your powers."
"Tell that to Miyako. She's only had sex with Hawkmon and she's a few
months pregnant."
Yamato's eyes widen to the point they almost fell out of their sockets.
"Miyako is pregnant and Hawkmon is the father?! You sure?"
"You should see the sonogram. The baby already has wings and bird claws.
Not to mention when we scanned Tailmon's egg, the baby looks too human for
my liking."
Yamato shivered in disgust. "Man, that's like thinking that Jun and
Vee...mon.... Hold on a second." He rushed over to the phone and dialed.
"Hi, Daisuke. Can I ask you a question? Has Jun ever had sex with Veemon?"
Yamato smirked evilly. "Good. Put her on the line.
"Hi, Jun, did you know digimon and humans can breed? I just found out that
they can. And if I'm not mistaken, you're a week more pregnant than when
the incident occurred where you claim I slept with you. Which now I am more
than certain I did not have sex with you that night. So, if you want the
father to support your baby, I'd suggest talking to the little lizard you
screwed. Bye-bye."
Yamato slammed the phone down and started dancing. "Free at last! Free at
last!"
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Author's Notes:
I was in a WEIRD mood when I wrote this.
Yes, Sailor Moon pregnancy test kits do exist in Japan. I don't know if
they still make them.
If anyone wants to start a series using the children of Takeru/Tailmon,
Hikari/Patamon, Jun/Veemon, Miyako/Hawkmon and any other human/digimon pair
you might want to add, go for it. Just let me know about it.
You can send comments to archive@mich.com