I Don’t Care If You Love Me Anymore
Herr Mullen looked at the stricken keyboard. He frowned and looked at Jyou.
“It’s not my fault. They should make the keys harder to push.”
Jyou ran his hands through his hair, jaw dropped. “You only got it a week ago!”
“It’s
the keys; they’re too soft. After a while, they start to break. The
delete key was first to go.”
Jyou sighed. “Fine; I’ll return it, later.” He hefted the monitor off of the
desk, and removed the tower from under it.
“I told Koushiro it was a bad idea.”
“Never
mind, Herr Mullen,” Jyou said as he removed the traces of ICT from the office.
“I’ll get your typewriter out.”
Herr Mullen watched patiently,
sniffing his brandy, as Jyou scaled the
bookcase to heave the typewriter from the top shelf; the dust had barely
settled. Herr Mullen grinned.
“They
just don’t make them like they used to,” he said as Jyou restored it to
the desk where it gave a happy “
Jyou dusted off his hands. “You had an idea for a story?”
Herr
Mullen sat down in the chair, which squealed like a slaughtered piglet
as his enormous buttocks drooped and expanded into the space available.
“Wisemon didn’t get to read our Holmes parody; he’s not a fan of yaoi.”
Jyou mentally slapped himself. How did he forget?
“So, this next one I’d like to do for him. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”
“Excellent.
Who are we parodying? Milne? Mel Brooks?”
“You’ll see. It’ll do the
disclaimer, I think.” Herr Mullen heft a cough,
loaded the typewriter, and began firing. “Digimon is property of Toei and Fox
Kids, apparently. Part Troll is property of Bill Bailey. Contains episodes of
a sexual nature. The actual content, however, is property of Herr Mullen.
Let’s move onto the story…”
Six months ago, this boy had been fighting for his life. Now, he sat in front
of a computer screen, slowly decaying. She said she did, but, well… her
replies were somewhat ambiguous. “Of course I like you!” He’d asked her out,
what, twenty, twenty-five times over the past six months? How can she be quite
as busy as she was?
“She must have one heck of a lot of homework.” Daisuke kicked back in his chair.
“Did she reply?”
“Nah, not yet.”
“…You’ve
been sitting in front of that screen for a while now. Don’t you
think you should get that essay written?”
“Nah, I’ll bluff it.”
They computer went “bi-bing.” That meant there was a message. Daisuke leaned in close to the screen.
“”I’m sorry, I have homework.”” Read Daisuke. “Ah, man.”
“I think she actually cares about it.”
“Shut up.”
“Okay,
but I get fidgety when I’m quiet.”
It was an obsession. Well, not
really. That just made him sound like he was
stalking her, like some sort of rapist. It was…a… an “advanced infatuation”.
Yeah, that made it sound good. It was the sort of thing Jyou or Koushiro would
say, probably. She liked him, too, she’d told him so, several times, when he
asked her. The only reason they weren’t going out on a regular basis was
because of the amount of work she had to do.
Daisuke grew bored with self-narration, and Chibimon was beginning to fidget.
“You
know what?” said Daisuke, “Let’s go swimming.”
There was that time a few months ago, actually, where she did go out with him.
They went to the park; the pond was still frozen, and snow glistened happily
over the grass. She told him that she liked him then, too. It was a fun day;
there was a little scene where a duck landed clumsily on the frozen pond in
winter, and the intoxicating power of their love transformed it into an
anthropomorphic drama where Mr. Duck was embarrassed and the other ducks were
laughing. Takeru turned up, at the end, though, said Hikari had promised to
help him with some science stuff, and she’d forgotten, so she really gad to go
with him. Why not? Takeru was a friend, and he needed help with his homework,
which was due in tomorrow.
It was a fun half an hour.
The pair stood in the forest of meaningless signs, but Daisuke ignored the
foreshadowing. Veemon ran into the forest. “Come on, Daisuke! Let’s go to the
beach!”
“Alright!”
called Daisuke rushing after him. “Last one there’s a Wormon!”
“Why does everyone hate me
so..?” mumbled Wormon, who just happened to be leaving the unnoticed forest not
ten metres away.
Veemon and Daisuke raced each other through the undergrowth, ignoring the “No jumping, no diving, no petting, no pushing, no splashing, no running” sign. Branches and exclamations and warning whipped past them as Daisuke caught up to and tackled Veemon.
“Gotcha!” he whispered, pinning Veemon to the ground.”
“Umm, Daisuke?” Veemon whispered, “I think you ought to have a look at this.
“What is it?” asked Daisuke crawling over Veemon and looking through the gap in-between shrubbery. Veemon made it sound like a Control Spire.
“What’re you so worried for?” asked Daisuke, “It’s just Takeru and Hikari. Maybe she’s persuaded her to take a break. I’ll go out and say hi-“
“No!” hissed Veemon, pushed Daisuke’s head down. “Just watch.”
“…Alright.”
Daisuke watched and strained his ears to listen.
“…I just fobbed him off, no worries.”
“Still, the number of times you’ve done it, I think he might catch on.”
“Nah; ol’ Dai’s like a stray puppy. Kick him and he’ll come straight back to you. All I have to do is whistle.”
“It’s hard to believe such an idiot became our leader. I’d have done much better.”
“Ha! Not if I’d led the team. I’m Light; Darkness just withers before me. I’m more powerful than any of you.”
“…Maybe, but you’re not really a born leader.”
“What’re
you talking about? When Miyako, Ken and I went to the
Stray puppy? Numbskull? What was going on here?
Takeru leaned into Hikari, and kissed her tenderly. She pushed him back onto the sand and ravaged him; her mouth was like a octopus’s sucker latching onto Takeru’s face and licking and sucking and all number of other disgusting things… she threw his hat off him, and immediately began removing his jacket and shirt, revealing a sickening tattoo of a pair of wings between his shoulder blades with the name “Hikari” under them. Daisuke nearly roared, his eyes streaming. He had died a thousand deaths and he would die a thousand more.
Hikari began unbuckling Takeru’s belt; Daisuke wanted to turn away, but he couldn’t. It was like watching a horrific blimp crashing into some huge skyscraper in an explosion of hydrogen, concrete and blood. He growled, low in his throat, as he watched his back stabbed repeatedly, like Hikari as Takeru’s tongue slid in and out between her thighs.
“Lick me!” squealed Hikari, “Make me wet, Takeru!”
Takeru grunted, and slipped his tongue in and out of her dripping and barren hole. He tickled her clitoris with the tip of his muscle, making her sing like a crow, or a vulture. He turned his mouth to the side, and nipped her opening. Her hand was on his head immediately.
“Do that ever again and you’ll get nothing, understand?” she hissed between tight lips. Daisuke never realised how ugly she was, like some big-foreheaded lizard. Her forked tongue moistened her lips as her lower self was digested by the insect she would no doubt later devoir. She began to tussle, and twist herself this way and that, her arms shaking and buckling over the sand, as she squirted foul smelling fluids into Takeru’s face. Her mouth wrenched open, with high pitched, effeminate screams that reminded Daisuke strongly of the catfight between Ladydevimon and Angelwomon.
“Takeru looked up, and wiped his face on his arm. “Can I go in, now?” he asked.
“Yes, do whatever you like,” she said, opening her hips to him. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
Takeru grinned like a man who had a knife to his wrists, as he squared up and positioned himself at Hikari’s body. He rubbed his cock (as Daisuke muttered about how small it was comparatively) around Hikari’s open all-night off licence shop.
“What’re you doing?” she groaned, “Just get it over with.”
Takeru frowned, and thrust into her. She laid flat and motionless as he had his way with her, as far as she would let him, and thrust in and out like an industrial pipe cleaner. He got away with uttering a single syllabled grunt as he managed to attain climax.
“Bastard.” Hissed Daisuke. Veemon looked up at him, a worried look on his face, as Hikari and Takeru put their clothes back on and left via a monitor without any further interaction.
Daisuke stepped onto the beach. He could see a slimy streak on the sand of clear white fluid where the pair had interacted.
“She betrayed me, Veemon.” He said, his bottom lip quivering. Mr. Duck lay shredded in a pancake, soaking in the hoi-sin of her lies.
Daisuke and Chibimon re-entered the bedroom. Daisuke turned to the computer.
“…Are you all right, Daisuke?”
“…No, of course I’m not. …Who am I, Chibimon? What do I do now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Hikari was the bane of my existence. I shaped myself around her. She opened my eyes to so many things, like that picture of that dog which wears a gown and spokes a pipe that made he laugh so heartily, but that I’d previously thought was rubbish.”
“…I don’t understand, Dai. What’re you trying to say?”
“The dog has moved on from the pipe to thirty cigarettes a day and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of her betrayal; that’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve been mocked all this time; no one’s been laughing with me. Even Ken turned on me. Treacherous bastard; he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me, he’d have killed himself by now. Heck, none of them would be here, I saved them all. I was the only one brave and hard headed enough to defeat Malomyotismon. But… who am I now? My entire personality has been built around my friends, you know.”
“…I still like you, Dai.”
“…I know, Chibimon.” He hugged his partner close. “…Essay, hmm? Let’s take a look at this poetry….”
Daisuke, red-eyed and blurry, handed in his essay to his teacher with a small hint of pride. He’d entered and left school hurriedly that day, avoiding everyone, including Miyako and Taichi, even when Miyako had called over to him at lunch. He felt alone; his heart was cold, it was a stone, his soul was lonely like a stone (there was no moss). He arrived home to Chibimon bounding up to him as soon as he got through the front door.
“Hey, ‘sup?” he asked as he picked the fellow up and held him in his arms.
“Um… nothing much. Just watching television. Did you know smaller breasts are more sensitive than big ones?”
“…What have you been watching?”
“Just some documentary,” he said, gesturing to the game show on the screen. “How was school?”
“I go my report in, nothing much else,” Daisuke said, weary of talking about school too much.
“How come I don’t get to go with you any more? Poromon and Upamon still get to go with their partners.”
“We don’t need to be ready for anything any more. You don’t have to be on-hand all the time.”
“Yeah, but…I want to go to school with you.”
Daisuke sighed, and sat his partner on the sofa. “…I don’t want to loose you, Chibimon. If you join the others in their mockery of me, then… I’m alone. Completely.”
“Oh.” Chibimon climbed onto Daisuke’s lap. “I promise I’ll not leave you, Dai. …Is that better?”
“…Thanks Chibimon.” Daisuke sighed. “Let’s see what that guy’s doing rubbing that cucumber over her nipple, eh?”
“Okay, Dai.”
Chibimon watched the screen with fascination, until Daisuke’s breathing settled into a steady rhythm. He looked up at his snoozing partner.
“How long were you writing that thing for?”
Daisuke stared at the red ink. “High A, 47/56” was written at the foot of the page of his black print. He knew he’d done well, but… an A? He was expecting a B. Only Miyako usually got these sort of results, Ken usually surpassed them and gets something like an “A*”, but he doesn’t really put in any effort. Daisuke scanned the page for comments; usually he’d be getting encouraging little remarks like “This bit’s rather good, but can you expand on that point?” or “An interesting road to take, but keep on topic”, however this time there was nothing. No congratulations, appraisals, or comments in sight.
“Okay, you can go now,” announced Mr. Heinz. The rest of the class began to leave, as he sidled ‘round to Daisuke’s desk, and sat on the one in front, facing Daisuke. “Well done on your essay, we can submit that for your coursework, but… you didn’t get Ken or Miyako or someone to write it for you? You are friends, I know.”
“No, sir. This is all mine.”
“Are you sure, Daisuke? The examining board will disqualify you if you’ve copied some else’s work, you realise?”
“Mr. Heinz, look into my eyes. They are red, and tired. That is from doing your essay, sir. I strained to keep awake in Maths because I was so tired.”
Mr Heinz looked into Daisuke’s eyes. “…Actually, you do look tired. You aren’t overworking yourself, are you?”
“No, sir. I just left that one a little too late. This next one I’ll do nice and early.”
“Well good. What’s brought on this sudden change? One moment I can’t even make you sit up straight, next you’re one of the most talented kids in my class, why is that?”
“…I’d rather not say, sir.”
“Ah, I see. Very well. See you tomorrow, will I, Daisuke?”
“No, sir. Football training.”
“Ah, yes, the big match.. I didn’t know they were pulling people out of class?”
“Oh,
yes. Mr. Godber really wants us to beat
“Well, so long as you’re up to date. But did Akira know about this?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Right; he’s still behind. I’ll have to catch up to him. See you later, Daisuke.”
Daisuke had managed to join the upper years team, being too rough for the younger boys. This meant he was playing alongside Taichi, and, consequently, Lilith- I mean, Hikari, was watching. Miyako, Iori, and Ken stood on the sidelines, cheering the team on . By the second half, Daisuke had spotted Takeru and Hikari sneaking off somewhere, which got the fire in his veins flowing. He began to hum to himself under his breath, his eyes narrowing
“Don’t give up! Come on! Full speed ahead!” he chanted, the sun beaming down on his, filling him with the courage to completely wipe the floor with the oncoming striker. He tackled him with brutal force, attacking the vulnerable areas of his legs. He took the ball down as the forward held his ankle and cried, until he heard the whistle.
The referee held up a yellow card. Figures, thought Daisuke, bitterly, he’s the Park games teacher.
Daisuke threw all subtly to the wind when he took out the next two players, destroying their hopes of attending training for at least the next two weeks. Twenty minutes into the second half, the ref deemed him such a danger to people’s health that Daisuke was awarded a red card. He was booed by both sides as he left the pitch.
“What did you think you were doing!?” Taichi fumed at him.
“Up yours, Yagami,” Daisuke said, sticking his middle finger Taichi’s way. I don’t need you to be a senpei for me anymore, he thought. I don’t need you or your hypocritical family.
He neglected his place on the sidelines to join Ken and the others. Maybe they’d understand what Hikari put him through. Stringing him along like an idiot for no reason other than the power she felt. Or… perhaps they knew. Daisuke ignored that creeping doubt. They may lack any real friendship now, but they didn’t lack moral decency, he was certain.
“Hey, guys.”
“What were you doing out there?” asked Ken. “That last one looked to have actually broken something.”
Daisuke shrugged. “Just reliving some mid-term tension, you know. That maths coursework’s giving me a hard time.”
“Ah.”
“Where’re Takeru and Hikari? Weren’t they with you?” Daisuke asked nonchalantly. He noted the way Iori’s eyes flickered to the changing rooms.
“I think they popped off for some drinks.” Said Ken. “I’ll email them,” he said as he pulled out he D-terminal.
“Hey, Dai!” said Takeru as he and Hikari re-joined the group. By this point, the game was over, and the crowds had long departed. “I heard how it went; man, you must’ve been tense.”
“Yeah, I was real hard headed. Actually, I feel a bit of a numbskull.”
“Don’t put yourself down, Daisuke,” said Hikari, “You’re not that much of an idiot.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. After all, I suppose I could’ve done stupider things like, say, bitten a girl whilst giving her oral.”
“What’re you referring to?” asked Ken, suddenly defensive.
“Shush, dear,” said Miyako, “He’s referring to an action, not an event.”
Everyone gave Ken and Yolei a sidelong glance, and then returned to discussing the game.
“I’m certain they way I marked that other guy, he thought I was a little like a lost puppy.” Takeru began to shift uneasily. “I bet he’d’ve loved to have fobbed me off, somehow. Maybe by telling me he had too much homework or something.”
“Um… Daisuke?” asked Hikari, “How is that relevant?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m thinking of something else. A conversation I overheard.”
“What!?”
“Have
you been to
“Daisuke!” gasped Hikari, “You pervert!”
“Oh, shut up.” Daisuke dismissed her complaint. “My rival is having sex with my supposed-girlfriend; how can I possibly not watch? Hikari, you meant everything to me; you showed me things I’d never cared for before, like… the snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer.”
“…What?”
“You did, you know, Hikari. I idolised you; the only women I’d ever consider having sex with.” The group shuffled, uncomfortably. “I thought you were an angel; you turned out to be a whore.”
“Takeru! Hit him!” Hikari ordered.
“I think he’s suffered enough; you have strung him along for months.”
“I don’t care, Tagaishi Takeru! Defend my honour or you won’t get laid anytime in the next week!”
“Why’d you sleep with him?” said Daisuke, slowly working himself up. “He’s weak! “Oh, he’s so sensitive,”” he mocked “”He’s got a tattoo…” So, what? Carving your name in my forehead with a compass wasn’t enough for you!? You bitch!”
He delivered Takeru a blow around the check which knocked him clean unconscious.
“Ultra kill.” Muttered Miyako.
“Say it in the voice, I like that,” said Ken.
“Not now! Shush!”
Hikari fumed at Daisuke. “How… how could you! Look at him! Look what you’ve done to your friend.”
Daisuke’s eyes narrowed. “Friend? I’ll have you know, I was lectured on the subject of friendship by none other than your brothers. I know what friendship is, Yagami. And it isn’t what either of you have shown me.” He took off his goggles. “These goggles know the meaning of friendship and the future. They give me true strength. These goggles give me proof the world I see is bright and shining. I don’t need these rose-tinted spectacles to blind me from your backstabbing. You can have these, if you’re going to blindly believe that friendship gives you the right to toy with peoples emotions, and never expect them to say “No, I won’t hit your boyfriend”.” He gave her the goggles.
“You should know, Hikari, that friendship includes not deceiving me in such an evil manner as to give me false hope. I would’ve been happy for you and Tagaishi, if you’d told me. But no. You left me to believe, and now all I can hear is the rusty hammer in my heart nailing at the hatred in my soul.” Daisuke turned to the others. “They should’ve told us, right?”
Miyako, Ken, and Iori shuffled, mumbled, and avoided Daisuke’s gaze.
“Ah, I see.”
“Yes; we did tell them.”
“So, Digivolution partner, and my friends, you didn’t tell me?”
“…They made us promise not to.” Said Miyako. “I’d have told you, but… it would make everyone unhappy. I thought it was best to keep quiet.”
“…I see. So, this is what it’s like without goggles. The snowflake on the of the deer has turned to pus that oozes from an open wound.”
“…What?” asked Ken.
“The deer, now blinded, stumbles into a ravine.”
“Oh.”
“Does it feel like mutiny,” asked Hikari, “Oh fearless leader?”
“Yes,
but the jokes on you. Daemon, and, from what I hear, the Under Sea Master are
both still out there. When you return to the
“You didn’t save us with your hard-headedness, you just didn’t have anything to change in your life.” Said Hikari, flatly.
“Oh, yes I did. Don’t you think I’d have liked to have been your one and only? And there’s plenty of other awful stuff in my life. But I’m smart and brave enough to face it. Goodbye.”
Daisuke walked out on everyone. As soon as he was around the corner, he started to laugh, and do a little jig as he walked.
On the floor, Takeru stirred. “…Did I miss something..?” he grumbled, holding his head. “My side hurts, too, actually…”
“No,” said Hikari. “Come on, let’s get you looked at. Can’t have you getting concussion; it’d distract you from the blowjob I’m going to give you tonight.”
“..Hikari?”
“Oh, Takeru… I love you.”
“What?”
“I want you to have me. Now.”
“Getting any ideas, Miyako?”
“Not if what Dai said was true!” Miyako slapped Ken ‘round the face, and her knees came sharply into contact with his bollocks. “I don’t want to see you again, Ichijoji.” She ran after Daisuke.
“Dai! Dai!”
Daisuke turned ‘round. “Miyako?”
“I’m sorry… I’ve broken it off. They were all wrong am I’m so sorry,” she said, tears welling in her eyes.
“Here, here,” Daisuke said soothingly, as he hugged her. “It’s alright now. Don’t cry.”
Daisuke looked over Miyako’s shoulder, and into the park. Even without goggles, he could see a dog, a deer, and a duck, all safe and sound.
“What the hell’s a deer doing in the park?” he wondered aloud, and Miyako’s sobs turned to laughter.
Author’s Notes.
Yes, it was a Wisemon parody. It’s in good
humour; it’s a homage rather than an attempt to take the Mickey, and for that
reason it’s DaD exclusive. Like Wisemon, I had a bit of Rock influence, which I
quoted throughout the piece. That can be viewed here
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRoEmFePG08&search=bill%20bailey).
I also used the translated version of Daisuke’s Japanese theme, which he hums
in the football match. Forgive the teacher’s clear Anglo origins; Wisemon used
references to his schooldays, so I made reference to mine and, being in a
British system, I used British references, such as the marks (which are from
GCSE English literature) and the field, rather than a stadium. Sports are not
run in the same way as they are in that States or