Hey fans! I am back after a long slump, my new stories will be either a spin on the original Epsilon, a new Epsilon story, or something else entirely. So, be ready for something crazy and Me like. This will be a continuation of the beginning of my original work. If you have seen it, you will get more information about what has happened. If this is new to you, you will have lots of fun with this twisted tale of sinful actions. Until then, enjoy fans, friends, and flamers!


The One They Call

(how great that sounds)


I wonder what the hell she wants at this time. Waking me at three of the morning! She had better have a good reason or I am leaving. I do not receive enough money for my services!


---------------------------------------------- Need to get out of here------------------------------------------


It was a chilly morning and my skin felt clammy. A thin fog hung around my house, lazily floating in my sight. I slowly reached my hand in my pocket and pulled out the car keys. I still do not know why I had ever locked the car; it was atrocious in all forms of the word. I stared over the bridge as best I could to see if Eplex was on his way. He had always been a slacker, but as we joked, he ran on black time. For one reason or another, he could never get his head together. Always lost and aimlessly bubbling on about random ideas. He had a shaved head, was blacker than the Ace of Spades and stood at an impressive 8’ 1”. Haha, I was proud to call him my friend. I became bored and started on my way, looks as if Eplex would just have to hitch a ride. The fog became thicker as I headed into the city and my visible decreased. It seemed as if all would be well, no traffic at this time and such. I reached for the radio for the local news; see if I was mentioned, when something crossed my path. I jammed the breaks in time and only knocked the poor creature over. It hopped to its feet and came by the window. I laughed as the figure took the shape of none other than Eplex.

“Hey man! Ya almost killed me!” he yelled

“Yes, I tend to do that” I snickered

He entered shotgun and started, “What you think she wants at this time, a job maybe?”

“I have no clue” I shrugged

Eplex began to ramble on about how he hated her. We all hated her, like a viral infection she is. A monstrous individual with no cares for the lives of others, a beast in a woman’s body. In a word, we called her Devour. The name was enough to make skin crawl and hair stand on end. Her very complexion was deceitful. A radiant woman with raven-black hair and a flawless figure. Her personality was not too enjoyable as her entertainment was worse than dental surgery. I shuck my head to rid that awful thought of her and focused back to the road. Eplex flipped through radio channels repeatedly, never quite finding his song. We pulled up to the meeting point and groggily staggered out. A slender woman with blonde hair step out of the shadow and greeted us.

“Hey you guys, guess you hit traffic” she smiled

I twirled my arm, “Yes, murder on these roads at these hours!”

I smiled to my friend, Eplest; she was so kind to me and had a lovely smile. Her yellow eyes added mystery to her though we all knew they were contacts. Unfortunately, you would notice her bust and thighs before reaching that smile or eyes. All at once, a red bolt flashed by us, signally the fourth on coming. Another woman with golden brown hair and a wicked smile hit me in the head. I toppled over and tried to get up when she pinned me down.

“Hey there, Epsilon, how are you tonight?” She smiled

“Just fine if you would stop doing that!” I said quickly, “You know there are much easier ways to get me in this position.”

“I know” she moved off, “I just like doing that.”

Ah, the little minx, Epsine, always was trying her hand at unnerving me and always ending in failure. I do like her tactics though, come in close and jump atop of me. She has blue eyes and a petite frame so it was always fun to pick her up. For such an earlier mission, her standard red dress seemed unusual. After all, we all were in black due to the fact of this call. She had to keep the trend of fashion in mind, red was this years black or so I heard. We sat about and spoke for a moment or two, waiting for the last three members to get here. Epsine was the first to spot the wide brimmed, black sombrero that was the trademark of the one and only Ependar.

“Yo, how is everyone?” He questioned with his hand pulled lowed.

A comply of “good” came at him as we noticed a small object in his hand. Our fears were realized when he smiled and out stretched his arms to display.

“Newest model” he said with an accent, “No one ever beat my invention, you be sure of that!”

That was true, all his inventions usually killed his test subjects or the others ran in fear. I knew this first hand when I tried his “Glider Backpack”. After falling from the roof, I pulled the cord and a large, yellow glider pulled from the backpack. It shortly broke under wind stress and severe misuse of duct tape and left me plummeting ten feet to the round. We all know to stay away from his new ideas for they could get you killed faster than the enemies could! He was a short man, fairly dark skin and piercing green eyes. We liked to make fun of him and sing “Short People” or “El Cucaracha” due to his size. We chatted about what this new thing would do and if it was absolutely necessary to have it in a city. He assured us it was a fine invention, artwork almost, and that it would not kill us in a horrible, fiery, hellish explosion. We all took a few steps back from him and carefully judged his theories. About ten minutes later, the last two members showed up. The twins, Eprin and Eplin, were quite the pair. Eprin, the male version, was a happy person to say the least and would have made an excellent cheerleader if not for being a guy. Eplin on the other hand, was a tomboy, always getting dirty and beating up the strongest men she could find. Besides her having A-cups and a thin waist, the two looked identical with dark-brown hair, hazel eyes, and stood at 5’ 8”.

“How are” Eprin started, “All of ya?” Eplin finished.

We all laughed and exchanged greetings. It was a slow morning, so I did not intend to be me. Epsine wiggled her hips in front of me and ended it with popping her hair, “So, Epsilon, you busy later?” She puckered her lips.

I smiled, “Yes, I promised to take Eplest out on the town” I wrapped my arms around Eplest waist and kissed her shoulder.

Epsine pouted, “It’s cause her tits are bigger than mine, ain’t it!?”

We all laughed once more at her frustration and then I confessed. She hit me in the head and exclaimed that I was not even worth it. We entered the lobby with a slight movement and saw Devour waiting on the desk. A guard was stabbed in the head and blood was splattered against the south wall, he must have upset her.

“So, you all made it” she smiled, “I have an assignment for you.”

She handed me a sheet of paper that went as such…



Enlisted Treasures on Route to Museum.

This is a notice to all the guards working the morning shifts. We have very valuable artifacts coming into the country tomorrow at exactly 8:00 A.M. and we need you to take extra care of this. These ancient eggs are worth millions, we cannot afford to have them stolen like the recent sarcophagus. I implore you to look out for those people that have been the height of this city’s crime and mortality rate. Be careful and safe travels


- Museum Security Officer,

Chief Birmingham


I read it over quickly and let the others read it. We all nodded in agreement at the level of risk here, not much. I checked my watch, it was 6:23 and the ride was only 15 minutes from here. We began for the door when Devour called out to me.

“Can your little team do this?” She smiled wickedly.

I turned to her slowly and scowled, “Can you pay us in full this time?”

She huffed and we set out. She still owed us money from the last mission she asked of us. Nearly wiped us of the planet because she conveniently forgot to mention they were wielding the latest in bazooka technology. What a total bitch she is, I promise to cross her off the world’s crime list if she does not fulfill her end of the bargain this time. I stopped worrying about that for a time and thought of the task. Those eggs seem to be pretty valuable to her, were they dinosaur eggs? If they were dinosaur eggs, why these particular eggs? It did not make sense; however, Devour did not either. She was decently strong, malevolent, and cunning, why keep hiring us to do her dirty work? I snapped out of my mind once more when Epsine hit my head and told me to stop. Seems I drove to the museum without realizing it. Everyone climbed out of the car and got situated. We all had a signature weapon with which we would always carry on us. Epsine took out her three-pronged whip, Eplex pulled out dual 6-shot handguns, Eplest placed her hands inside her handcrafted punch knives, Eplin and Eprin loaded their pockets with throwing knives and stars, and Ependar took his double barrel shotgun. I used a weapon not yet named, small triangular pieces of metal with Assassin’s thread tied to the end. The triangular heads were as arrows when throw correctly and the Assassin’s thread was so sharp that it cut flesh upon contact. We never came up with anything better than “Land Fisher” as a name. I checked my watch to figure only ten minutes before the arrival.

“Ready everyone?” I announced.

They all saluted half-heartedly and we set for position of departure. This was going to be a horrid morning for these guards.


To be continue