The Dark Masters Reincarnate and the Beginning of Season 03
Disclaimer: *singing '' buy Eminem* I used to get punkeded bullied on my block, until I chopped this one kid's head off and stuck it in this other kids mailbox. So
now what do I think? I think I don't own digimon.
A/N This story is placed in 02 and it takes place after the end of the last episode.
At the park
Tai: So, guys how have things been going since you got married?
Yolie: Well my life has been going great ever since I married Ken and since then, we've hardly ever been separated.
Ken: Even though she won't take the hint that the reason I became a detective was so I could get shot and be away from her.
Yolie: Oh Ken, you say the funnies things!
Ken: *groans*
Kari: My relationship with T.K. has been going great. Its a pity he won't let me see Davis though.
T.K.: Well if he'd just go and get his own girl instead of trying to hit on my wife...
Davis: Well its not like its my fault I love her!
Cody: I'm still single and I quite my job as a lawyer but I do enjoy my new one of running a brothel (new word of the day; brothel means whore house). The women just love the tricks I can do with my kendo sticks.
Izzy: Yeah, but when I have one of them sit on my 'lap top...'
Joe: Well its nice to hear that you guys have had a nice love life. I'm married to Davis's sister, Jun, and shes been demanding to 'do it' at least four times a day!
Davis: Is that really a problem?
Joe: Davis...you try it for once.
Davis: I'd love to but that would be incest.
Mimi: My marriage to Matt has been the best thing ever! He even takes me to all his concerts!
Matt: Yeah, and then I spend some 'casual' time with her.
Tai: Sora and I have been happily married and we screw at least every night!
Sora: I don't think they needed to hear that dear.
Matt: So what? Me and my wife do it until three in the morning.
Tai: So? We do it until four!
Everyone: Don't you two start to argue! This is not season 01!
Matt and Tai: Sorry.
Everyone starts talking about when they were younger when suddenly everyone's digivise goes off.
Tai: *checking digivise* It seems theres a rift in the digital world.
Izzy: We better check it out then.
Kari: Hey, does anyone know where our digimon are?
Yolie: Yeah, I think they went to the rest rooms.
Izzy: Then we better got there and get them.
Everyone waits by the rest rooms and after five minutes, they decide to go in and see whats taking so long.
Tai: Hey Agumon, whats...whoa!
Everyone: *stares as they see their digimon are in the middle of a huge orgy*
Kari: Heh, heh. I...umm...think we should go now, right guys?
Davis: *behind everybody* Whats happening? Move aside, move aside. *peers over top of Ken's shoulder* Whoa! look at them go at it!
Ken: Whatever it is you got poking up my ass, remove it!
Davis: What? *looks down and immediately backs up* Uh...sorry Ken.
Yolie: Now Ken, you shouldn't be mean to Davis like that! Now say your sorry.
Ken: I'm sorry that your a fag and you tried to hump me.
Davis: Apology accepted.
T.K. and Ken: *flashes each other a thumbs up*
Yolie: Anyway, we still need to stop our digimon from screwing each other senseless and head to the digital world.
Everyone: *pries their digimon partners apart from each other and carries them out of the bathroom*
Patamon: Hey what did you do that for, I was about to digivolve into Angemon!
T.K.: Save it for latter, pot roast, when we're in battle.
Gatomon: You humans are all like that. Just when we got something good going, you try to break it up!
Kari: Now don't you start Gatomon.
Izzy: *opens the port to the digiworld on his laptop*
Everyone jumps in and that oh so annoying song we hear every time they do that kicks in.
Sora: I'm going to track down and kill whoever made that song.
Matt: Yeah, I could pull a better one out the crack of my ass. *reaches into the back of his pants and pulls out a brown, stinky piece of music paper* See?
Everyone: *holds their nose and gags for air*
Tai: *sweatdrops* Anyway, now that we're here, whats to be done?
Izzy: It turns out that the dark masters have returned.
Davis: The dark who?
Matt: They were just a bunch of power hungry digimons. They were incredibly easy to defeat. Man, the next time we see them, its game over!
Yolie: Well how do we find them?
Mimi: How else? Simply walk around aimlessly and we should soon meet one of them.
Everyone walks down the mountain and after about three hours of this, they soon get tired of it.
Ken: Yeah, just walk around aimlessly and they will find us. Like that will ever work.
Mimi: Well it worked last time we were hear.
Davis: Maybe we should all split up, that way we will have a better chance of finding them.
Everyone: *looks at Davis like hes an idiot*
Davis: Well then, what else do you think we should do?
Kari: Well for one, I think that we should have followed the signs that said 'this way to the evil Dark Master, MetalSeadramon.'
Cody: Why didn't you point that out sooner?
Kari: I don't know. I just wanted to see what would happen.
Everyone: *big sweatdrops*
Joe: Well no use turning back now. We're almost at the bottom of the hill. We'll make the necessary detour down there.
They walk the rest of the way down the mountain, and sleep until next morning.
Next Morning
Everyone is awake and complaining after spending the night on the ground except for Izzy who is looking strangely refreshed.
Tai: Izzy, why do you look so comfortable after sleeping on the ground?
Izzy: Well you see, at first I had trouble falling asleep do the hardness of the ground, but after finding that Mimi was also awake we decided to 'entertain' ourselves for a while.
Matt: *shocked/angered* Mimi, is that true!
Mimi: *blushes* Well at least we used protection.
Matt: I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about is the fact that you actually left me out of it!
Izzy and Mimi: *big sweatdrops*
Tai: Well Kari, do you remember where that sign pointed to go and find MetalSeadramon?
Kari: Yeah, it pointed to the opposite side of this mountain.
Tai: Well lets go then.
Everyone starts to walk and by noon they reach the other side of the mountain and see another sign.
Ken: *reading the sign* Go north two miles.
They walk two miles north until they come across a third sign.
Ken: Go west five miles.
They walk west five miles and see a fourth sign.
Ken: *getting annoyied* Go south two miles.
They go south eight miles and see, you guessed it, another sign.
Ken: *annoyied* Go east five miles.
They walk east five miles and see their fifth sign.
Ken: *pissed off* Go north two miles! We're back where we started!!!! *tears the sign out of the ground and starts to jump up and down on it*
From out of the woods they hear a rustling and MetalSeadromon appears.
MetalSeadramon: Hey! What do you think your doing to my sign you little punk!
Ken: *sweatdrops* Um...I was just... *looks at his watch* Gotta go.
Everyone: *big sweatdrops*
Joe: Well now that we found him, what are we going to do?
T.K.: We do what anyone else would do when they're faced with a forty foot tall eel.
Joe: And that would be?
Cody: Have lunch!
Everyone: *charges at MetalSeadramon*
MetalSeadramon: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
An hour and a half latter...
Davis: *burps* What a meal!
Matt: Yeah, and all that metal we got left over can be changed into big bucks for my band.
Cody: Why should you get first dibs?
Matt: Because I spoke up first.
Cody: Oh...
Yolie: Well we better find the next dark master. What do you think Hawkmon?
Hawkmon: How about we rest first?
Palmon: Yeah, we just had a big meal.
Yolie: Well, I guess so.
Biyomon: Hooray! Each person sleeps with his own kind!
Tai: Un uh. We're not going to repeat that scene in the bathroom again. Your going to sleep with us.
All of the Digimon: Owwwww...
They sleep and wake up the next morning but their digimon partners are missing.
Tai: Let me guess...another orgy session?
Sora: Afraid so. Lets try to find them.
Everyone spends the next part of an hour finding their digimon and prying them loose from their partners.
Veemon: Again? Why must you humans do this to us?
Armadilomon: Yeah, Palmon was about to use her 'poison ivy' attack for something useful this time.
Palmon: What?! Are you saying my attack is only useful 'outside' of battle?
Armadillomon: Um...next question please.
Everyone: *sighs*
Izzy: Well at least we learnt something out of this. It seems that digimon do go into heat just like most other animals.
Tentomon: Our other humans.
Izzy: What do you mean by that?
Tentomon: Well as far as I now, women tend to go into heat at least once a month.
Sora, Mimi, Yolie, and Kari: TENTOMON!!!!
Tentomon: Well don't blame me if I'm right!
Tai: Anyway, we need to find the next dark master. Since the forest is the closest, I suggest we go there.
T.K.: This brings back memories. I wonder if Puppetmon has grown up any?
Matt: Nah, chances are hes still the same as always.
T.K.: Retarded.
Three hours latter after marching into the woods they see a Numemon walking around obviously drunk.
Kari: Do you think he will know where Puppetmon's mansion is?
Mimi: We might as well ask. *walks up to the Numemon* Excuse me, can you help me?
Numemon: That depends on what you need help with.
Mimi: Do you know where we can find Puppetmon?
Numemon: Yes, I do know.
Mimi: Where is he?
Numemon: Wheres who?
Mimi: Puppetmon.
Numemon: Who's he?
Mimi: The person we're trying to find.
Numeon: Oh thats nice. Good luck finding him.
Mimi: Good luck finding him?! But you said you knew where to find him!
Numemon: I do.
Mimi: THEN WHERE IS HE????!!!!
Numemon: Wheres who?
Mimi: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Yolie: Mimi, let me handle this. *picks the Numemon off the ground and throws him into a tree* Which direction do we go to find Puppetmon?!
Numemon: *groaning* Northeast.
Everyone walks northeast and in a surprisingly short time they find Puppetmon's mansion.
Joe: Well what are we suppose to do now? Just knock?
Cody: That would seem like a good idea.
Joe: *walks up to the door and knocks and in a few moment it is opened by Puppetmon*
Puppetmon: Yes? How may I help you?
Joe: I was just wondering if...
Puppetmon: Sorry, I don't accept salesmen. Please leave before I have to blow you up. *closes door*
T.K.: *face faults* That was Puppetmon?
Matt: He sure has changed a lot.
T.K.: Maybe I should try. *walks up to Puppetmon's door and knocks on it*
Puppetmon: T.K.! What are you doing here?!
T.K.: We've come to stop you from ruling the digiworld.
Puppetmon: Rule the Digiworld? I wish I could do that. All I got is this forest to rule over. Its not much but its better than nothing.
T.K.: Well in that case we've come to stop you from ruling this forest.
Puppetmon: No thank you. I'm in the middle of smoking a joint and I don't want to be interrupted. *closes the door*
T.K.: Thats about the first time I've been told off by an evil digimon.
Izzy: *carring a jar filled with bugs* Let me handle this.
T.K.: Where did you get those bugs from?
Izzy: Tentomon helped me to catch them. Now if you will excuse me for just a moment... *knocks on the door*
Puppetmon: Yes?
Izzy: *opens the jar and tosses the bugs onto Puppetmon*
Puppetmon: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! TERMITES!
The termites quickly sit down to lunch and in five minutes all thats left is a pile of sawdust and a couple of hundred to-fat-to-move termites.
Izzy: Now thats done with, I say we go and find Machindramon next.
Tai: I can't wait to see how this turns out.
Everyone walks until the sun starts to set.
Sora: Its gonna get dark soon. We better go to sleep.
Kari: Yeah, but what do we do with our digimon?
Cody: We could tie them up.
Matt: It sounds like a plan to me.
Davis: Same here.
All of the Digimon: Lets not.
Davis: *grabbing a couple pieces of vine* Don't worry, this shouldn't take to long.
Everyone tackles their digimon and in a couple of minutes they have them all tied up.
Tai: Well that should take care of the problem.
Joe: I agree. Lets get to sleep.
They sleep and when they wake up they notice their digimon are once again going at it.
Tai: *groans* Again?
Matt: Let me take care of this. *pulls out a pocket knife* Who wants to be the first one to get nutted?
Digimon: *quickly scrambles off each other*
Matt: Well that was easy.
Kari: Well now thats taken care of, which way to Machindramon's?
Izzy: *looking up from his laptop* Its a little to the west from here.
Tai: Then lets go.
By half past noon, everyone makes it towards a giant city.
Davis: All right, now that we're here, exactly how do we find him?
T.K.: I say the easiest thing to do is to enjoy ourselves. I mean, with all the dark masters so far acting so screw balled, whats the worst that could happen?
A robot that closely resembles that REALLY annoying person who keeps telling you that its all right to be fat but then makes you exercise appears.
Robot: All right everyone, its time to exercise! Come on, shake that booty!
Yolie: *sweatdrops* You had to ask.
Izzy: Tentomon...
Tentomon: *delivers a couple thousand volts of electricity to the robot and it explodes*
Robot: *before falling to the ground in pieces* That...wasn't...nice...
T.K.: All right, whats the second worst that could...
Everyone: *beats up T.K.*
Davis: Well at least I feel better.
T.K.: Davis...bite me.
Ken: If you two are through arguing, we need to concentrate our efforts into finding Machindramon.
Izzy: That should be easy. *walks over to a telephone and calls someone* Hello, Gingo's pizza? I'd like to order two large pizza, extra crust, with everything on it and eleven large drinks. Please deliver to the phone I am dialing from. *hangs up phone*
Sora: What good did that do?
Izzy: Wait.
Fifteen minutes pass and a truck appears in front of everybody and Machindramon steps out wearing a Gino's pizza cap.
Machindramon: Heres your pizza. That'll be $20 digi dollors or the same equivalent in yin.
Izzy: *hands Machindramon a couple thousand yin*
Machindramon: Thank you and enjoy your meal.
Izzy: Wait a minute.
Machindramon: What?
Izzy: *takes one of the large drinks, opens it, and tosses it on Machindramon*
Machindramon: AHHHHHHH!!!!! *shuts down due to power shortage*
Cody: *sweatdrops* Now thats one way to take care of your problems.
Izzy: Well it worked didn't it?
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Izzy: *sweatdrops* Well anyhow, I suggest we all sit down to lunch.
Everyone eats one slice each and shares their drinks with their digimon
Tai: Well now that bit is over, how about trying to find the last dark master?
Matt: Piedmon shouldn't be to far. I mean, it should only be a few hours march shouldn't it?
Joe: It should. The only question is, since the Digiworld is not reconfigured like the last time when they were in control, where would he be?
Jeporady music starts to play.
Kari: I think we should get help. Izzy, can you contact Genaii?
Izzy: I'll try that. *starts to type on his laptop and in a moment brings up Genaii*
Geanaii: *hastily trying to hide his porn* Um...digidestined...what do you need?
Izzy: We need to find out where Piedmon is located. Do you have any idea where he is at?
Genaii: Piedmon? Yeah, I think I can help you. *opens a closet door and an entire truck load of playboy and hustlers magazines falls out* *shovels through the pile of magazines and pulls out a map of the digiworld* *looks at it for a momment* Go north five miles, then east by ten, and finally go up a really steep mountain. Got it?
Izzy: Yeah. Thanks for your help.
Genaii: No problem.
Izzy: *looks up and notices everyone is missing* Guys? Where are you?
Joe: *standing by three sets of cars* We all had a feeling that this was going to be a long trip so we got these.
Izzy: Great! *notices somethin* Hey, those looks like parts of Machindramon!
Joe: Yeah, it appeared that one of us took mechanics as a hobby so we were able to assemble these things together. Now hop in.
Four hours of non-stop driving everyone arrives at the now familar castle of Piedmon.
Cody: Well here we are. Not a bad place hes got. Do you think he might be inside?
Davis: Chances are he is. Come on everyone, lets go inside!
Everyone walks inside and notices Piedmon standing on a giant ball while juggling six balls in the air.
Piedmon: Why hello everyone! Have you come to see my performance?
Ken: Why not? What harm could it do?
Everyone watches Piedmon but he fumbles up his juggling act several times, falls off his ball at least ten times, and practically messes everything else up.
Ken: You call this an act? I hate to break it up to you, but you suck big time at being a clown. I'd hate to think what would happen if you ever swallowed a sword.
Piedmon: So you think I don't what I'm doing! I'll show you! *takes a sword and actually swallows the entire thing*
Everyone: *applaudes*
Piedmon: Than...AHHHHHHHH!!!! *sword starts to cut his throat and he falls off his ball and withers in pain* *dies a painful (and stupid) death*
T.K.: Well that was weird.
Ken: Yeah I know. What do you think this is all about anyhow? I mean, all the dark masters are reincarnated but their are all so dumb. Who wrote the script to this thing anyhow?
Everyone: *thinks for a momment* ANGETEEN!!!!!
Next day
Digidestined, digimon, and the dark masters: *bursts into my room*
Cody: That entire script you wrote was stupid! To make matter even worse, me and Joe only got a few lines!
Ken: And what was with the fact of saying that Joe and I hated our wives and then throughout the rest of the story you don't even do anything about it!
Hawkmon: So whats that? We digimon hardly got any lines except for Patamon and Gatomon!
Digimon: Yeah!
Piedmon: So? Angeteen called us all back only to make us look like idiots! What are you, a sadist?!
Angeteen: *drinking something that will melt the airs of a man's chest at twenty feet (bud wiser beer, jack danels lighting, moonshine, and for flavor, a bit of dynamite powder)*: So? That won't matter for long.
T.K.: What do you mean by that?
Angeteen: In writing there is something you should always remember...never question the writer. *hits a button on his chair and the celing opens up and his chair is rocket propelled into the sky where it starts to hover*
Piedmon: What the...
Angeteen: *hits another button and a missile shoots out and blows up everybody* *his chair hovers back down to the ground* *cell phone rings* *answers it* Hello?
Head of Saban: Hello, Angeteen, what do you think you've just done?
Angeteen: I think I just took care of an argument so well that it was beyond belief.
Head of Saban: That may be so, but now what are we going to do now that everyone is dead?
Angeteen: Simple...plan their funeral and start season 03. *hangs up* A really messed up script and a fireworks display all in one day...not bad.
Those who wish to send comments/praises your more than welcomed to do that. Those who wish to send negative responses are okay as long as they are kept polite. Those who send flames please do because I'm about to start a barbecue. Those who send viruses will be tracked down like the dogs they are and heavily
sued!